the smell of my desperation has become a stench

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Last night while we were opening the mail that included two large collections of books, Marlo hopped inside one of the empty cardboard boxes and asked Tyrant to shut the lid.

“Sthend me sthomewhere!” she demanded.

“Where do you want to go?” Tyrant asked.

“Um… CHINA!” she said.

So he folded down the flaps, told her to buckle her seat belt, and then he mimicked the sound and turbulence of an airplane. He said he didn’t know how any Chinese so he couldn’t welcome her to her destination properly, so I told him to divert the plane to France. And when she landed he should say, “Bonjour! Je m’appelle le croissant!”

That right there is a BYU education.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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