An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The pattern on the inside of my brain

About 90% of the shirts I own are striped in one way or another, a fact that Cami likes to point out in a sometimes mocking tone as if to say, “Can’t you express your crazy in a more flamboyant way?”

Actually, isn’t that the perfect way? It’s OCD and obsession and fixation all wrapped up in a very graphic presentation. Do not try to control my crazy, okay?

So this collection of inspiration here, this one is for those of us who like things a certain way, and please. Stop. Do not move that salt shaker. It’s facing north for a reason.

1. Ombre stripe U-neck T $14.99

2. Calvin Klein Women’s Stripe Crew Roll Sleeve $44.99

3. Frenchstripe Column Dress $178

4. Painter elbow-sleeve boatneck tee $42.50

5. Lucky Brand Women’s Spring Tie Dye Henley $44.50

6. Bria Striped Maxi Dress $169

7. QSW Women’s Inlet Stripe Maxi $68

8. Soft Joie Crimson Stripe Top $88

9. Love Stripe Dress With Cut Out Back $63.18

10. Bistro dress in ridgestripe $118

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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