the smell of my desperation has become a stench


When Marlo saw Tyrant and Dane walk in with huge bags of food to prepare for his birthday party her brain started leaking out of her eyes. MY GOD, THE HELPING. THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH HELPING TO DO.

She pulled up her stool and, all kidding aside, she helped wash vegetables and add seasoning to meat and stir water for almost two hours. I couldn’t pull her away, and one of the reasons it’s so great to have Dane around is how well we handles Marlo. He didn’t mind it at all and even taught her little tricks along the way. She’s his little buddy and it’s one of the reasons I think she hasn’t complained too much about her glasses. Dane! Dane has glasses! She has glasses JUST LIKE DANE!

She also has glasses JUST LIKE TINA FEY! AND GANDHI!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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