An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The beginning of heavy textbooks

Am I supposed to be excited that Leta is headed back to school soon? Because I most certainly am not at all, and the reasons are varied starting with MY CHILD IS GROWING TOO FAST. Fourth grade. I have a fourth grader. I MYSELF was in fourth grade, like, a week ago.

Some of the other reasons I’m not excited:
– math homework
– math homework
– math homework

We did all her supply shopping over the weekend which included a new backpack, the only supply she got excited about. I was like, you aren’t excited about this here box of pencils? Well aren’t you demanding. Here are a few ideas I found online in case your kid needs a supply he or she can be bothered to care about.

1. River Island Backpack $50.63

2. Senior sequin striped backpack $39.95

3. Off-white Canvas Backpack $18.25

4. BDG Lightweight Nylon Convertible Backpack $15

5. Herschel Supply Co ‘Parker’ Backpack $50

6. MadPax Luggage Spiketus Rex Later Gator Fullpack Bag $60

7. Vera Bradley Backpack $89

8. J. Carrot Striped Fleece Backpack $49.99

9. Vans Deana Backpack $38

10. MadPax ‘Blok’ Backpack $60

11. Olive Drab – Classic Army Style Backpack $36.49

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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