the smell of my desperation has become a stench

You’re not even going to believe it

Marlo has an imaginary friend named Sarah who sometimes has too much of an opinion about things if you ask me. Sarah doesn’t like this song on the radio, MOM. Sarah doesn’t like these shoes, MOM. Sarah says that you don’t brush my hair the right way, MOM. Here she’s telling me that Sarah is disappointed that there aren’t more flowers in the yard, and I was like, who is preventing Sarah from planting her own flowers, MARLO. That Sarah, man. She can suck it.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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