Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Purple people eater

Marlo likes to play shy during the initial drop off at preschool and will hide her entire body behind me. Several times I’ll find her laughing open-mouthed and next thing I know she’s scraping her teeth across my hip. The moment she swings herself behind me I feel like a vigilant animal attempting to avoid a predator because if I’m not careful she will one day take a chunk out of my flesh. By accident, initially, but then she’d be like, well that was satisfying!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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