– “Avoid Highways” by Andrew Knapp
9. WE KNOW WE ARE PHONY, AND WE DON’T CARE
– As an Anglophile I could not love this more: a tour of the British Isles in accents
– Terrible Spring Break cocktails illustrated by Gemma Correll
– No Ford Nation campaign signs
– Russian photographer takes incredible portraits with real animals
I had driven to the Target back in 2000 to purchase an electric griddle for pancakes, but Radiohead’s OK Computer was playing and “Exit Music (For a Film)” came on and it was snowing and perfect and instead of going in for my griddle, I sat in my little green Nissan and sobbed until I looked like Alice Cooper.
– Who’s This – (SPOILER ALERT) A Game of Thrones Parody of What’s This from The Nightmare Before Christmas
I have the joy of being able to tell you that, though deaf and blind, I spent a glorious hour last night listening over the radio to Beethoven’s “Ninth Symphony.”
– Image is Everything: The Secrets of Body Language
– A few of my favorite recent tweets:
"My friends follow you so could you stop tweeting embarrassing things about me?" asked my son who once pooped his pants at a Dodgers game.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) April 3, 2014
Endorphins are my favorite brain chemicals that sound like killing a homeless child.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 29, 2014
Bruce Jenner is my least favorite Golden Girl
— Vanilla Cupcake (@Vanilla_cupcak) April 3, 2014
Don't think of it as a cubicle. Think of it as a starter coffin.
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) March 25, 2014
The Australian "no" is eleven syllables.
— Brandon Vaughn (@Brandamonium) February 11, 2014
Once upon a time I killed everybody on earth except the man most worthy to live: an obsessive-compulsive animal hoarder who heard voices.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 27, 2014
i did it God! i finaly got 2 of evry animal ＮＯＡＨ．ＴＨＥＹ ＨＡＶＥ ＴＯ ＢＥ ＡＬＩＶＥ *noah looks at boat full of dead animals* do u kno how long this took
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) April 3, 2014
If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) March 19, 2014
I just saw a guy with such big nipple rings that it took all my will power not to fold hand towels through them.
— Jack Mackenroth (@jackmackenroth) March 20, 2014
Big shout out to keys for being small jagged pieces of metal I keep in a pocket next to my genitals.
— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) March 31, 2014