the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Should clearly indicate whether or not I’m raising them Paleo


Normally I limit Marlo’s afternoon snacks to something a tad more natural than a packet of flavored sugar, but someone in her class had a birthday yesterday and brought these in to share with everyone. She had to wait all day long to eat it, and because I was hit over the head with a wave of nostalgia I let her. Leta walked by several times and quickly stuck her finger in the pile on the countertop to steal a taste, resulting in a quick BARK! from Marlo each time. It was her packet of flavored sugar, LETA.

Last night before tucking Leta into bed she and I shared a moment and both took turns doing an imitation of Marlo saying that: “IT’S MY TREAT, LEEDAAAAH.” In order to properly convey how that sounds, just chew Leta’s name in your mouth like a piece of taffy.

Even after a shower and several tooth brushings Marlo’s mouth still looks exactly like this.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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