Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Life lessons

“Mom, since I’m feeling better I want to roller skate in my roller skates outside.”

“Marlo, have you looked outside?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“…”

“I want to roller skate in my roller skates.”

“The weather outside might make that endeavor somewhat precarious.”

“BUT—”

“Marlo, there’s two inches of snow out there. You can’t roller skate in the snow.”

“NO FAIR!”

And there it is. Oh, the harsh cruelties of life. Over and over again we must press forward despite knowing that we cannot have our Oompa Loompa now.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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