the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Matters of the eyes, part aw hell no

Apologies in advance that this post is not injected with the levity usually associated with the words I write here…

Last October I started down a long and winding path with Marlo concerning her eyesight and the treatment of it to improve her quality of life. Before I took her in to see a pediatric ophthalmologist on my healthcare plan she pretty much couldn’t see the basic outline of anything, even with the glasses she was then wearing. I documented the beginning of that journey here and the second leg of it here where the doctor determined that she needed to wear a patch on her left eye for two hours a day to help strengthen her right eye.

We spoke only in pirate jokes for days. You would have punched me multiple times, it got so ridiculous. And I’d have responded with, “Gonna have ya arrrrrrrrrrested!

A photo posted by Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) on

At a third examination in March, the head physician at this clinic was delighted at the progress she had made. And here is where I give huge thanks to my babysitter Kelli, she who picks up my kids from school and stays until 5:30 PM so that I can get in a full work day. She is one of my sister wives with the added benefit of not ever having to say, “Oh no, it’s my night tonight and I have a headache. Please, I’m begging you. Go to the main house and take one for the team.”

She and I have worked together to make sure that Marlo wears that patch religiously. Every day she wears that thing. Every single day. The doctor was so pleased with the progress, even, that he ordered a less intense prescription and said that she could cut back the patching to just an hour a day. He then said to come back within two months for a checkup because he was confident that we could quite possibly cease patching altogether at that point.

These are facts. These are the things he told me. Moreover, I sat in that room and witnessed the progress. She was seeing letters during the tests that she had been unable to identify at the previous examinations. I saw the difference with my own eyes.

On Wednesday afternoon I got a call from the school saying that Marlo had been complaining for at least a half hour about an ear ache. This made immediate sense because she had a cold that kept her home from school the previous Friday and lasted through the weekend. The last time she had that kind of cold she developed an ear infection just days after recovering. I dropped everything and spent the entire afternoon at the doctor and pharmacy with a very miserable child who screamed violently for hours.

By mid evening the antibiotics had kicked in, and she was back to normal. Meaning, she was demanding, belligerent, and saying things like, “Aliens are so stupid because they’re flying around in the air all the time when they could be down here building tents.” If you think about that for more than two seconds it starts to make sense. So don’t.

The next morning she said she was feeling much better. She was acting perfectly normal, and since we had that next eye checkup scheduled for just a few hours later I decided to keep her home from school. She was in a great mood, markedly different from the afternoon before, and sang along to the music in the car on the way to the appointment. She and I both walked broad-shouldered into the office, hand in hand, her because her ear didn’t feel like it was on fire, me because I was looking forward to some good news.

They were running late as usual, and while we waited Marlo tinkered with all the equipment they have set up to entertain kids. I remember sitting there thinking that the doctor we were seeing was not the lead physician, and in my head I explained it away as, “He’s so hopeful about her progress that someone else can perform the checkup and be done lickety split.”

Soon the doctor entered the waiting room and called Marlo’s name. When we reached the examination room she knew the drill, hopped right up into that giant mechanized chair and smiled to present him her award-winning dimples. He asked to see her glasses and then took them out of the room presumably to check the prescription, their condition, and to wipe off all the smudges.

I will admit that I had that morning eaten a bite of hummus and without swallowing taken her glasses and licked both lenses. Do not judge me on when or where I get my kicks.

When he returned he asked if she had been wearing her glasses all the time and whether or not she’d continued patching. I assured him that we had stuck to the prescribed regimen in a military-like fashion, and then he asked, “Has there been any change in her health?”

“I don’t know if this matters, but yesterday she was diagnosed with an ear infection,” I answered.

“Oh, okay,” he responded nonchalantly. And then he immediately turned down the lights, raised the chair and began testing her eyes. This involves covering up one eye to assess if she can see letters being broadcast to a mirror across the room. I sat there looking up at the letters in backward form over her head and watched in confusion and shock as she proceeded to misidentify almost every single letter, even the biggest ones. First with her left eye covered, then with her right eye covered, then with both eyes uncovered. With her glasses on she could only identify three of five of the largest letters in the test.

He pulled back, grabbed a tool and then briefly shined a light first into her left eye, and then into her right. After letting out an audible sigh he rolled his chair over to the light to brighten the room and asked, “Has she ever had an MRI done on her head?”

A… a whaaa… an MRI? What? Why? Um, hm…

“An MRI?” I asked. “No, no she hasn’t. Why would she need an MRI?”

“Well, she’s not making any progress at all, and that’s concerning.”

“But at the last appointment the head physician told me she was making remarkable progr—”

“No, not at all,” he interrupted.


“Her progress this entire time has been like this,” he said as he raised his hand in the air to draw an imaginary horizontal line. Flat and straight. Like someone in a game of charades trying to depict Kansas.

“But at the last appointment you guys ordered a less intense prescription because she’d made prog—”

“Not really,” he interrupted again. “She’s not progressing, and there has to be a reason for it. It’s likely her optic nerves.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll talk to the head physician, but she’ll probably need an MRI so that we can get a look at her optic nerves.” The tone of his explanation was like a bored teenager who works at McDonald’s and is super annoyed that someone has asked for extra ketchup.

“Can you—”

“If her optic nerves are smaller than normal optic nerves then that would explain this,” he said.

“Okay…” My mind was spinning, turning circles, closing in on itself. “If that is what you find, then what?”

“Then what?” he asked back to me, confused.

“Yes, then what do we do then?”

“Oh, then there’s nothing we can do.” It fell out of his mouth like a wad of gum that has lost its minty taste.

“It’s inoperable?”

“Yes, totally inoperable. Her eyesight would remain as it is right now, and well…” He stopped to let out not a whole chuckle, just the first note of one. “As it is, right now her eyesight is so bad that she’d never pass a driver’s license test.”

I had so many questions I wanted to ask, things I wanted clarified, charts I wanted to see, but I physically could not get a word out of my mouth. My throat closed. I sat there completely unable to speak, my heart shattering for my baby girl. What can she see? What does her world look like? Would my child seriously grow up and never be able to drive a car?

A huge component of this paralysis was watching her misidentify every letter at every size. She said that a giant F was an O, that an mid-sized A was a Y. How could this happen in less than two months?

He looked at me blankly and said, “I’ll check with the head physician and get back to you… hm… later today, Monday at the latest.”

I finally let out a clipped whisper, “Patching. We should continue patching in the meantime?”

“Oh, no. No, don’t go through the hassle of that. I mean, why do any of that if this is something we can’t fix, you know?”

I barely remember walking out of the examination room. I have glimpses of walking through the waiting room, out the door and across the parking lot. I had Marlo’s hand in mine and rubbed the back of it with my thumb over and over again. I cried silently behind my sunglasses the entire drive home.

When I finally had a moment I texted her father in Brooklyn and explained what had happened. He was understandably upset, wondered why I had not asked certain questions (a. I was in shock, b. I was in shock, and c. I HAVE NOT EVER WORN GLASSES AND SOME QUESTIONS I DO NOT KNOW TO ASK), and demanded that we get answers immediately. So I called and left this message with the receptionist, “My daughter had an appointment earlier with Dr. R, and he said he was going to consult with the head physician before calling me back. But I have a couple of very pressing questions for him about what happened today. Will you have him call me?”

She said she’d write that down and deliver it to him immediately.

An hour went by. Nothing.

I called again and left this message, “Can you please have Dr. R call me about his examination of my daughter today? Her father lives out of state, and I need to give him some answers concerning what happened today during the exam.”

Same thing. Said she’d get it to him immediately. Another hour went by. Nothing.

10 minutes before the clinic closed I called again, at this point frantic and teary.

“Hi, this is the third time I’ve called to speak to Dr. R.,” I began.

“Oh,” she said. “Let me go look and see if he got your messages.”

I sat for over five minutes listening to classical music until she got back on the line.

“Dr. R said that he’s going to speak with the head physician when he gets back from vacation on Tuesday, and then he’ll call you. Okay?” she answered, ready to hang up and be done.

“NO,” I blurted. “You do not understand. My child’s father lives out of state, and I would like to give him some answers about what happened today during her examination. This cannot wait until Tuesday.”

“Oh!” she said as if she suddenly recognized a long lost friend from high school. “Have him call us and we’ll put Dr. R on the phone!”

I pulled my phone away from my face, stared at it as if inspecting a hairy wart and made the conscious decision to set aside my outrage for at least a few minutes with the health of my child taking precedence.

Twenty minutes later her father called to tell me how that conversation played out.


Dr. R probably realized how he had royally fucked up during that examination by jumping from point A to point YOUR CHILD WILL NEVER BE OKAY and downplayed the entire thing. Told her father that we didn’t need to worry. An MRI? Perhaps, but let’s not jump to that right now. Told him that what he thinks is that Marlo has a lot more patching to do! You know, that thing he told me not to bother with. And no, it doesn’t say anywhere on her chart that there is a history of keratoconus in her family EVEN THOUGH MY MENTIONING THAT VERY WORD DURING THE FIRST EXAM WAS WHAT GOT THE HEAD PHYSICIAN INVOLVED IN THE FIRST PLACE.


Now, behold the restraint with which I am saying this and not doing so in capital letters: I’m going to go ahead and give Dr. R and that clinic the benefit of the doubt that they so clearly do not deserve and say that the reason he would not take my call but would talk to her father is because he knows I would have reached through the phone and poked him directly in the butt.

This is how Mama Bear proceeds:

I called and scheduled an appointment with a top-notch pediatric ophthalmologist who works at Primary Children’s Medical Center up here at the University of Utah. The only reason I didn’t do that last October is because Marlo needed attention immediately and the next appointment with him was six months out.

This appointment is not until September. However, in the meantime I’m having her records faxed to a specialist in MN who is going to try and make heads or tails of it and will consult with him on a plan of action. I’m also speaking with patients and the parents of patients who have had successful relationships with other pediatric ophthalmologists in Utah in case we can find a faster solution.



After someone suggested that Marlo’s ear infection could have affected her eyesight, could have potentially blurred her vision, I did some old fashioned reading and digging and more reading. And here’s what I want to know: if an ear infection has even the slightest possibility of affecting one’s vision (TURNS OUT IT CAN), why would that doctor jump to INOPERABLE OPTIC NERVES when he knew she had one? Why? And why in that tone? Why treat me as if YOU JUST CAN’T EVEN because I’d like more ketchup for my goddamn French fries?

And if even one naysayer comes in here and is all, “There are so many desperate places in this world, Heather, that you yourself have visited where kids don’t even have access to eye care and here you are being a drama queen,” my preemptive response is, “If I am not acting like a drama queen on behalf of the health of my child then what the fuck kind of mother am I?”


  • Daddy Scratches

    2015/06/08 at 7:18 am

    I think you showed incredible restraint by not writing this entire post in ALL CAPS. I would have ENDED Dr. R for his handling of the situation … probably by building out of lumber some CAPITAL LETTERS with which to beat him to death.

    Hope everything turns out OK for Marlo. Hang in there.

  • Donna

    2015/06/08 at 7:33 am

    My blood is boiling for you!!! This doctor needs to resign, or only work with patients over 18 because that is NOT how you handle appointments. I am so proud of you! YOu are a spectacular mother and responded exactly the right way. Praying you get answers and you find an even better doctor!

  • Jackie

    2015/06/08 at 7:39 am

    You should be very proud of your actions. Advocating for your children is exactly what you are doing and it is as it should be. I feel for those kids whose parents don’t know how or can’t advocate for them. I would recommend sending an email to the head of patient services at that clinic or the hospital of this practice. That will get you some attention. Sounds like that doctor needs a little assistance with bed-side manner and patient interaction. Sadly, it is not unusual to run across this, but there are plenty of good physicians out there with good interpersonal skills. I know you will find someone that you can respect and hopefully like as well.

  • Amy

    2015/06/08 at 7:52 am

    OH. GOOD. LORD. I cannot even. La di da, have her father call, the dr. will happily speak to him?!?!?!

    Also, yes. We acknowledge privilege. We still get to be our children’s number protectors, defenders, activists.

  • zchamu

    2015/06/08 at 7:56 am

    My head exploded approximately every third word. Huge kudos to you for not torching that place on the weekend. WTF?!

  • Suebob

    2015/06/08 at 7:58 am

    If I were a little person whose life and health depend on someone forcefully advocating for me, would I want them to do so? Hm…let me think. YES HELL YES.

  • Erika Quagliano

    2015/06/08 at 8:02 am

    I live in Minnesota. Hopefully Dr. Jonathon Pribila was recommended to you. He is amazing. Like fucking amazing. My daughter had eye surgery when she was 3 and he called us at home at 8 at night to see how she was doing. Good luck!!! That doc you saw should be banished. What a horrible man.

  • sassymouthy

    2015/06/08 at 8:05 am

    You have much more restraint than I. Being from the South also, I would have cussed out everyone at the clinic in my fury at this “oh well” attitude and the conflicting info given her Father. Totally unacceptable! Don’t fuck with my kid.

  • Kim Garbison

    2015/06/08 at 8:08 am

    All I can think of is how many other mamas he treats this way?! Moron needs to find a job in a lab somewhere he can’t pollute mankind.

  • Allyssa Wheaton-Rodriguez

    2015/06/08 at 8:11 am

    You are describing the behavior of my first pediatrician. After 12 months, I had had enough and switched and it was the best damn decision I ever made…so condescending to me as a mom. The transferring of all the records and stuff is a PITA, but you’ll feel better once it all gets done. I read the comments on your FB page to your original post, and I was surprised to hear about antibiotics causing disruption in sight, so I’m glad someone else’s experience might have helped shed some light on the situation. I hope you write a big nasty letter to that doctor’s practice after you leave…he needs it kept in his file come review time. Asshole.

  • Valerie May

    2015/06/08 at 8:11 am

    There are lots of children in third world countries that don’t have access to eye care. But you don’t live in a third world country. You have EVERY right to be a dramatic as you feel necessary because I’m sure, if those third world country mothers had access to the physicians we have here, they’d be just as dramatic. Take the thrown Momma and wear that crown.

  • Lindsey Orcutt

    2015/06/08 at 8:12 am

    OK, that guy is a TOTAL DOUCHE. You are an awesome mother, Heather. Sending along positive vibes that Marlo gets the treatment she needs!

  • theboldsoul

    2015/06/08 at 8:12 am

    Be the mama bear and don’t let up until you get the right doctors and the answers you need. WTF is WRONG with those other doctors???

  • Tracey

    2015/06/08 at 8:12 am

    Can I come punch that doctor for you?

  • Richard Morey

    2015/06/08 at 8:13 am

    I have keratoconus myself. It was diagnosed in my mid 20’s and progressed rapidly for a while and then slowed. I wore hard contact lenses for about 6 years and just recently discovered that soft contacts have advanced enough to correct my vision so I can drive. When wearing the soft lenses I wear drug store “magnifying” glasses for reading. I also have prescription glasses that I can wear without any contact lenses so I can drive, etc. Hopefully its just keratoconus and not something more serious and Marlo will learn to manage her eye sight with contacts and glasses.

  • Amy G

    2015/06/08 at 8:14 am

    I hate crappy doctors. I’d put his name out there. Let him find out that the way he treats his patients is directly connected to the way we choose our doctors. You don’t tell someone their child is blind and then just skip out of the room singing Mary Poppins. Geesh!

  • Tracey

    2015/06/08 at 8:15 am

    Can I come punch that doctor for you? I would have reacted exactly the same way.

  • Lynn Dirk

    2015/06/08 at 8:15 am

    I’d show this whole post to the head Dr. at that clinic. What a clod his second in command is. It might save the next mom from being treated so unprofessianal.

  • Living The Scream

    2015/06/08 at 8:16 am

    I can not imagine how awful this was! So smart of you to get other opinions!

  • samantha muka

    2015/06/08 at 8:17 am

    I get this all the time. When we lived in Salt Lake, I assumed that doctors wouldn’t speak directly to me because it was the culture there. But then we moved to Pennsylvania and the gendered aspect of health care still happens. Our pediatrician talks to my husband like a human being and myself

  • Jessica Blair

    2015/06/08 at 8:17 am

    Thanks for the update, Heather. If you’re looking for townspeople to torch that fucking monster with, let me know and I’ll be there with my pitchfork.

  • LauraManor

    2015/06/08 at 8:18 am

    Have you noticed any change in her eyesight since that appointment? Did Marlo herself feel her vision had changed when the ear infection struck?

  • Simply Genya

    2015/06/08 at 8:18 am

    Heather – I tried getting my drivers license and failed SEVEN times and everyone blamed me and put it down to stress. I hated driving. I could only drive if someone helped me when I was drifting in my lane or didn’t notice some obvious obstacle. No one ever thought it was my eyes. Even when I did the look at the blinking light and I said it was in the middle and the person administering said test told me what side it was on. It wasn’t until I was 25 when I worked in a busy truck area for a transportation company I found I had a hard time figuring out how fast vehicles were coming towards me. So when I told my eye doctor this I went on a huge battery of tests to find out I had that optic nerve problem. I use public transit daily and have no issues getting around. Yes it’d be nice to have a drivers license but I can’t get one. No idea if any treatment early on would help since I’m in my 30s now. It’s nice to know what the reason is. I hope Marlo gets all the help she can!

  • Katie R

    2015/06/08 at 8:28 am

    I second that motion!!! We see Dr. Pribila as well — AMAZING eye doc. Heather, make that appointment!

  • Cassie

    2015/06/08 at 8:29 am

    My heart goes out to you. There is no excuse for that quack to take your daughters eyesight and future so lightly. And the way he treated you was awful. I am glad you are taking charge and getting her the best medical help available. I pray everything is ok and he did not know what he was talking about and the ear infection had something to do with it.

  • Heidi

    2015/06/08 at 8:40 am

    GO, MAMA. There is no other appropriate response for the health of your child. Especially when having to deal with dill-holes like that “doctor”. OMG. My stomach is churning in disgust and absolute outrage for you! I’m holding space and rooting for you both. <3 (P.S. Perhaps you should seriously consider reporting that doctor.)

  • Joanne z Filmlady

    2015/06/08 at 9:01 am

    “why would that doctor jump to INOPERABLE OPTIC NERVES when he knew she had [an ear infection]? Why? And why in that tone?”

    Because he’s an asshole. After 30+ years with serious eye-related issues, I’ve heard every possible idiotic comment a doctor can make. Doctors who provide no possible treatment options, or at least a referral to someone who knows better, are usually puffing themselves up to a knowledge level they don’t possess to make themselves feel important. At the patient’s expense.

    My 23-yr-old daughter was referred to a neuro-ophthalmology specialist at Mass Eye and Ear for an appt this afternoon, for a situation that would normally involve patching one eye (or “giving up”). He’ll be looking at her optic nerves, etc. and prob doing an MRI to rule out other possibilities for her eyes not focusing together.

    And I won’t even START discussing a doctor who will talk to Jon but not you.
    Hugs for all of you.

  • Christine Daley

    2015/06/08 at 9:09 am

    I was 14 years old and had an eye injury. Doctor said it was a cataract and needs des surgery eventually. No…it was a fetched retina. Blind in my left eye permanently due to scarring. My mom didn’t ask enough questions and fight for me. Fight for her heather! You are doing the right thing!!

  • Jennifer Campisano

    2015/06/08 at 9:09 am

    My thoughts exactly. No parent should be subjected to treatment like this when the health of their child is concerned. And they might want to consider the bedside manner of the physicians they hire at that clinic.

  • Kathee

    2015/06/08 at 9:18 am

    I have been a nurse for 10 years. There are doctors that have to be held accountable for their communication with patients and their advocates. I’ve been the middle man many times and had doctors mad at me because I won’t let them brush off the responsibility. Come talk to this patient/family now!! Good on ya to be so pro-active in her care. In the end we have to take responsibility for the care our children receive. I hope it’s all good news from here on out!

  • Jos

    2015/06/08 at 9:22 am

    Oh my goodness, my heart was in the pit of my stomach for you last week when I saw your Instagram post. Good for you for bringing Mama Bear to the party. That is ridiculous how you were treated by that doctor. I’m glad you were able to transfer her care elsewhere where her health & eyesight will be given the attention it deserves. Wow. #SMH

  • Sabrina

    2015/06/08 at 9:22 am

    Holy fuck balls I would be so f-ing mad at this whole situation I’d poke out the Drs eyes. I feel your pain in getting proper diagnosis and treatment so anyone who tells you it could be worse can go suck those balls I mentioned earlier.

  • Anna Cabrera

    2015/06/08 at 9:31 am

    Well done mama bear … and best wishes for finding good doctors who know how to communicate as well as they know how to do their jobs! Babies need their mamas for just this … and their villages.

  • marjoy97206

    2015/06/08 at 9:38 am

    I think you’re showing remarkable restraint. There is NOTHING (yep, all caps) worse than being dismissed and ignored like you were by a person who had given you that type of possibly life-altering information about Marlo’s eyesight. Damn. No parent should have to have this type of experience.

  • Ms_Issippi

    2015/06/08 at 9:45 am

    You’ve probably already done this, but when I’ve been given a far-off appointment, I also make a specific request to be put on the cancellation list. This has often cut wait times from 6 months to 6 days.

  • Margie Gay

    2015/06/08 at 10:02 am

    The thing I forgot about living in Utah, after being in Arizona for 10 years, was the way certain members of the male gender dismiss women, talk down to them, or talk to them like they’re talking to a three year old. Pisses me right the fuck off.

  • Leigh

    2015/06/08 at 10:06 am

    I am so sorry, and you have every right to be furious. The head doctor at that clinic definitely needs to know what happened at the appointment, and if I would you I’d probably go down there in person today to talk with him and review her records, and I’d wait all day if necessary–not quietly, either. (If there’s a way to wait loudly, I’m sure we Southern broads can find it.)

  • Elizabeth B

    2015/06/08 at 10:07 am

    That doctor was a total jerk; I am so mad for you! You are absolutely doing the right thing and I wouldn’t call it being a drama queen, it’s just taking care of your child the way any mother should. I found out my son couldn’t see out of one eye when he was in second grade, and after reading about what you’ve done for Marlo I feel like I failed him completely. The doctor we saw said we could try patching, but that by then it was probably too late to make any progress, and because that doctor was kind and seemed knowledgeable I believed him, and my son’s eyesight in that eye never improved, possibly because we didn’t try hard enough. He’s 26 now, and fortunately he can see very well with his other eye, and with both eyes open he has no trouble seeing and doesn’t even wear glasses. He thinks it’s funny to close his good eye and tell me how blurry everything is, and I laugh and we joke about it, but I’ll always feel like I failed him.

  • Carla

    2015/06/08 at 10:29 am

    Heather, how the heck did you play this so cool? The entire post should have been written in all caps. I read this entire thing with clenched fists. How many other patients are suffering and not getting the treatment they need because of this clinic? Go after them for this. If you don’t and this horrific behavior continues, more children will be hurt. I’m sickened by what happened to you and Marlo, and pissed off that it took the Brooklyn Blurb to get the damn doctor to call back.

  • Carla

    2015/06/08 at 10:30 am

    I just said the same thing about all caps. :o)

  • Tiffany Palella Cronin

    2015/06/08 at 10:32 am

    It is disgusting how Dr. R treated you and jumped to conclusions about Marlo. And don’t even get me started about how he wouldn’t speak to you but would gladly take your exhusband’s call. Personally, I would contact the head doctor yourself when he returns from vacation. Especially since you’ve seen him before. I’d ask to see him in person and tell him everything that happened and then ask for her files when you inform him that you will be going elsewhere. I’ve been in sitations similar to this when they make it seem like I made the big deal out of something that wasn’t. I now use a recorder, my phone, or my ipad to record my visits with doctors, lawyers, ect. It also helps when dealing with a diagnosis you may not understand so you can research it further once you get home. Good luck on your search and sending you both positive thoughts!

  • Rachel

    2015/06/08 at 10:38 am

    That doctor is a perfect example of why there should be a code on the books for justifiable throat punching.

  • Tina

    2015/06/08 at 10:48 am

    Two of my four kids have vision issues–one is completely blind and one is very visually impaired. We are making plans to move from our fairly-rural area to a suburban area to give them access to public transportation. Driving is a big deal–no doubts about it–but there are other options.

    If it turns out that Marlo’s vision is compromised for good, then you definitely want to get in touch with a vision teacher and orientation and mobility specialist. (The school district provides them). They would help with what she would need and would work with you. And there are TONS of resources online for parents of visually impaired kids. IF that ends up being your situation.

  • Sarah

    2015/06/08 at 10:52 am

    What a clusterfuck of awful. I had something similar happen with my kid. After three months of not getting better I took her to a different doctor in the same practice and repeated her health history. The new doctor proceeded to tell me that the records from her first life threatening illness were not stored in her electronic medical records and her treatments had been all wrong. Major surgery, quarantine and one year of twice weekly treatments later she is finally well enough to go back to school, but I would sooner spit on the face of everyone in that first practice than to ever let them treat my child again.

    I wish I didn’t know how you felt, because it sucks and makes you feel like the world is fucking with your kid and there is nothing you can do to fix anything so the screaming is the closest you will get. I get it, I get you, and I want to throat punch that doctor for you, and for all the parents whom he treated like shit.

  • Mark F

    2015/06/08 at 10:59 am

    What’s the clinic and what’s that ‘doctors’ name? I don’t want to go there, and I’d like to warn off everyone I know!

  • Allison Wilhelm

    2015/06/08 at 11:03 am

    I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that that quacker should PROBABLY be fired. If not for his poor bedside manner and stupidity, than for his blatant sexism? Or MAYBE he was just really intimidated by your celeb status… In that case, you should probably send him an autographed photo of your butt. Never stop advocating for your babies. You know them better than anyone.

  • issascrazyworld

    2015/06/08 at 11:05 am

    The fact that he said one thing to you and a completely different thing to Jon is RIDUCLOUS! I’d like to go bitch slap him for you.

    Speaking as someone who was never supposed to see at all, you’ll find the right people and you’ll get it all worked out. I know it. I have no peripheral vision in one eye. Like none. Am blind as a bat without glasses, but I promise you I can see fine with them. I can drive, although, I’ve had to learn ways around my vision. (Never had an accident that was my fault.) Also, hugs to you. I can’t imagine what a shocking day that was and how hard the wait and see game will be.

  • Rachel

    2015/06/08 at 11:17 am

    I am a non-confrontational person. I will do just about anything to avoid making waves. But. When it comes to my children I will look like a fucking nightmare if need be. I am impressed you held it together. I would not have been able to do so. That doctor is lucky that you were in shock. Otherwise I suspect he would be walking funny for awhile. You’re a good mother. It is evident in the words and photos you share of your girls. Marlo is so lucky to have you in her corner. And you do whatever you have to do to advocate for her.

  • Fredda

    2015/06/08 at 11:20 am

    Oh, Heather, what a nightmare. I’m so sorry you were subjected to this!

  • Joy

    2015/06/08 at 11:32 am

    I am so sorry. What a disaster. Hoping for nothing but the best for you and Marlo as you work your way through this.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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