the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Aging somewhat gracefully

Oh my god, I just realized. Just this second. JUST NOW. Whoa. Hold on one second. Here goes:

Today is Coco’s 8th birthday. That stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder was born on October 22, 2007.

I asked her earlier if she would like to get baptized into the LDS Church now that she is old enough to discern whether or not she believes in all its tenets, and in response she titled her head, grabbed this giant red KONG Stuff-A-Ball toy and started doing this.

So I guess this means that she’d like to bear her testimony that rolling around in her own poop is true, in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Happy Birthday, Dame Eleanor. You’ve filled a void so big in our hearts without even knowing that’s what you were doing. Marlo is going to go apeshit tonight when she gets to feed you a whole roasted chicken.

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more