the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Hi. Remember the dooce community?

That technically clunky yet actively engaged place where people shared their triumphs and losses, recipes and pro tips, their birth stories and devastating encounters with the rougher corners of life?

That thing! YES! It lived for almost nine years on a platform that very quickly turned into a jalopy ham sandwich held together by twine, used band-aids, and a handful of Chaquita banana stickers I’ve peeled off, held over the garbage only to pause and think, “But what if I ever run out of tape?”

Yes, I did steal that line from a blog post I wrote in January. I plagiarized myself. Because I’m lazy. Don’t look at me like that if you have ever once used dry shampoo. Because IT’S THE SAME THING.

I recently moved the community to a much better platform called Slack which has desktop and mobile features we always wanted to have on that jalopy ham sandwich. But development and maintenance of those features was cost prohibitive. But Slack? It’s free! And according to a few of the initial participants who tested out the waters, it’s pretty fucking fun. And? You can use it on your phone. Some of you just reached spontaneous orgasm.

Participation in this community is now by invite only. If you’d like to join, fill out the form below.

When you receive an invite and accept it, we want you to adhere to the following suggestions and “community guidelines,” and by “we” I mean all of the wonderful people participating peacefully in conversations.

First, go introduce yourself on the #intros channel. Tell us all a bit about yourself and why you’re here and if you’re the type of mongrel who cooks hot dogs in the microwave.

As a point of order, once you are accepted into the community you will automatically be added to the following channels: #general, #announcements, #tech_support, and #intros. @dooce, @americanrecluse, and @jessicam are administrators and you can message us with questions or comments.

Next, explore all the channels that already exist. We’re talking about #boobs, #fitness, #meetups, #travel, and have channels offering support and celebration of everything little and big. If you have something you want to talk about and don’t see a channel for it, create it. It’s free and easy. Just announce it in the #announcements channel.

While some of the topics might be serious, the idea is to create a fun destination for dooce readers and fans. It’s for entertainment, enlightenment and to help one another. Do not get in there and start poking people in the butt unless you’re in the #please_poke_me_in_the_butt channel. Got it?

What to Do

Do be nice

Community members are people with feelings. We are all different, but we all deserve to feel comfortable. We may not always agree, but we need to agree to disagree with respect and courtesy. Be polite and considerate.

Do self-moderate what you share

You need to take responsibility for your words and the tips, links, and pointers you share. You’re welcome to be funny or clever. However, we are reminding you to think before you post.

Do enjoy yourself!

We set up this space so people who read dooce could have a good time and maybe help a few people as well as get some help from the mundane to the serious. You will get out of the community what you put into it.

What Not to Do

Don’t spam

This community is not a place for commercial activity (e.g. recruiting or marketing your product) unless it happens inside a channel dedicated to that purpose (e.g. go create a #jobs or a #gigs or a #gofundme channel). Don’t spam this place with a link to your Kickstarter campaign. We will shut you down immediately. If you see commercial behavior going on, direct message me @dooce, and I’ll fix it.

Don’t harass people

This isn’t the place to lash out, abuse, impersonate or intimidate others. If we receive a valid complaint about your conduct, depending on severity, you’ll be warned or your account deleted. Avoid demeaning, discriminatory, harassing, hateful, or physically threatening behavior, speech, and imagery.

Don’t share illegal stuff

If you do this, your account will be blocked. You will also be reported to the authorities if it’s that severe.

Don’t be a creep

Just, don’t. Don’t stalk people. Don’t actively try to make people uncomfortable because you have a strong opinion. Don’t pick fights. Don’t gossip about other members. Don’t make us smell your feet.

When to report questions, user accounts or user contributions:

If you come across content that is offensive, harassing, demeaning or in any way threatening, then it needs to be reported. This is not tattling or snitching. This is helping the community be a better place. Please alert me or the other administrators: @dooce @americanrecluse @jessicam