• http://www.cuene.com www.mulletsinUtah.com

    Oh yeah! Check out the kick ass Ogden mullet.

  • http://www.cuene.com www.mulletsinutah.com

    yes, I know i’m going straight to hell for the previous post. But, they’ll find me there with a small pile of golden plates, inscribed with a goodness only I can decipher.

  • http://planetbrent.com Brent

    In Ulaanbataar this past August, in the middle of a country sparsely populated by an Buddhist-cum-atheist nomadic peoples — in the middle of nowhere — I watched a series of young Mormon missionaries work on converting a country. I sometimes wonder whether the Mormon church is so successful because, in some way, it brings the all-but-magic wonders of the first world to the people of the third.

  • http://www.vatican.va/ snide motherfucker

    How ’bout them Catholics, huh?

  • Igor

    It seems to me that most religions would be far more agreeable if they didn’t have a “convert as many people as you can” clause in their flavor of bible.

  • me2

    Dear A MORMON (in Canada), I live among many Mormons and find them consistently thoughtful, kind and considerate to others. However, there are some attitudes encouraged by the LDS church that I find profoundly disturbing. To wit, attitudes toward: women (obedience to men), the environment (God gave it to us to use up), people of color (they should change their skin color like the Lamanites did), excommunication (don’t even think about questioning anything the church says). I do not have exhaustive knowledge of the religion, so I’d be interested in your honest take on these things that bother me so much.


    Dear Me2, you might want to check your facts darling, they are a little skewed. At no point do I need to OBEY my husband, and as for the rest, well, seems like you have a surface knowledge… I hope you feel the same way towards a lot of other religions then, because there are MANY similarities between ours and many others. So please tell me, why the, is the finger always pointed at us? Why can’t people just let us live our lives in peace? You have your beliefs I have mine. I am not asking you to agree with mine so please don’t tell me why mine aren’t right, especially if you have your facts mixed up.

  • me2

    Dear A MORMON, I’m sorry if I upset you. I guess I should have known I would. But that honestly was not my intent. I know I don’t necessarily have all the facts, let alone have them straight, so I was asking because I wanted to know.

  • http://www.lompyville.blogspot.com Kukuberra

    I was a mormon til 14. My family is also in Utah, logan, provo, heber and I go back once a year. The most horrible thing about Utah to me is the boring samness of it all. I live in NYC now. And the Man is the head of the house hold. I was taught the men were given the preisthood so they would be a spiritual as women naturally are but the final decision still is the man’s. And…they only took the word “obey” out of the mormon wedding ceremony in 1994. And look up some of the reports on Joseph Smith’s historically documented behavior. There’s a lot the Church doesn’t mention. It’s not half as clean and good in it’s history as I was taught.
    But mostly they’re good people

  • me2

    Thanks for your perspective, Kukuberra.

  • http://www.jeanettecline.com/thoughts.htm Jeanette

    I just don’t understand how you can be so funny all the time! I mean I’m ROFL at every post and I’m a long-time reader!

    Oh, and I would be as upset as you if I couldn’t get what I wanted from Taco Bell (although mine is a soft taco supreme -meat +beans).

  • http://www.novenarik.org Jory

    I knew there was something I was forgetting. So are you in Utah or Salt Lake county? Or, shudder, one of the other ones?

  • http://amindofamind.blogspot.com Naaman

    Run for the border!!!!

  • http://amindofamind.blogspot.com Naaman

    Sorry, I couldn’t resist ;)

  • http://shescrafty.com shescrafty

    Just don’t drink the kool-aide!

  • http://keith@realityremixed.com Keith

    Dude, the Mormons don’t do caffeine either. So, no Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks either. I can deal without the tostadas, but the bastards have made me become addicted to frappuccinos.

  • http://www.nonetospeakof.com Totah DinÈ

    Why do you think I moved back to New Mexico? I have two words for you CABLE INTERNET – that makes up for everything else ;)

  • http://www.porkrollxpress.com Ex-liontamer

    I can relate; I went a few years without Taylor Ham.

    Mmmmm. Taylor Ham.

    Can you make your own Tostadas?

  • http://www.moveablebeast.com peggy

    That’s the trouble with moving. I know you know about Tennessee too, but I sure didn’t. No Vienna Red Hots, no White Castles, no Chicago at all. The beans & cornbread thing is cool, though.

  • http://www.thefalseidol.com/herhighnessness Her Highnessness

    It’s a little freaky that the Mormon Church keeps such close tabs on you, even though you’re not a member in good standing. I wonder if missing persons has ever condsidered tapping this powerful person finding resource?

  • http://www.jennifermurray.net Jen

    They’re going to track you down? That sounds so X-Files.

  • Glen

    Umm, I’m a little fuzzy here. Why no tostadas?

  • me

    what the hell were you thinking ? get out while you can.

  • http://www.billdugan.com/log/ bill

    Heh. I feel your pain. I went from New York to Maryland, where an evil cabal has decided that it is perfectly OK to put mayonnaise and pickles on an Italian Cold Cut sub. Mayonnaise! As for the tostadas, my best suggestion is to bring a tortilla to The Bell and bribe the fry guy.

  • PJ

    I myself have found the last few days’ discussions on the Mormon religion both enlightening and mostly lighthearted. I think you have been remarkably circumspect in your comments. As for those who thought it was bashing, methinks thou art WAY too sensitive. Take it from a Friday Fish-Eater: we hold the patent on being able to make fun of our religious leaders, and believe me, these days we have to be able to take it. Who has laughed at a priest joke lately? I know I have, albeit somewhat ruefully. Dooce, you can come be a Catholic anytime, we’ve got plenty of guilt-ridden angst to go around.

  • Lisa

    My best friend in high school was Mormon. (I said “was” because promptly after graduation, she ran away to Texas and married someone that wasn’t Mormon. No temple for her…) Anyway, I was almost convinced that I wanted to join the Mormon church. I had the Book of Mormon, with full intetion to read every word. Of couse, I never did. My Catholic upbringing stopped me from joining. That and the fact that I answered the knock at the front door in a towel and saw two Missionaries standing there. The first asked if it was a bad time. The other was craning his neck to look as far away as possible. I said, “Yes, it is a bad time.” They never came back.

  • http://gravitylens.org heather

    I moved from north Alabama to a suburb of Baltimore a year ago. I never knew I would have to get my dad to ship be proper tea (Red Diamond) for sugary, teeth-rotting iced tea. I had to introduce people to the wonder that is cornbread dressing! Heathens.

  • http://mexicanfood.miningco.com/library/recipes/blrr225.htm Zeek

    Survival link for you…
    There are also recipes for Taco Bell seasoning there somewhere.

  • http://www.megchem.com megchem

    Two years in LA, 6 in MT and I still yearn for a cup, no gallon, of dunkin donuts coffee. The best cheap coffee in the world!!! I heard a rumor that there’s one in la…yeah right…i can smell it 20 miles away!

  • http://www.billdugan.com Dirtybilllover

    Um…they don’t just track you down if you’ve already been part of the church. They also track you down if you’ve ever seriously dated one. I moved from Maryland to Texas and back again and the only thing that ever changed was that the missionaries got younger and younger. They want me something fierce to send a total of 12 missionaries after me! (Did I mention that they all knew me by name? THAT’S some scary shit)

  • http://ben.studiom11.com/ Funtime Ben

    I think as a recovering Mormon you are doing pretty well, although if there is an increase in the Words of God on your blog a crack rescue team, from an undisclosed location, will be dispensed bearing tostadas to lure you away back to the world of sin… and real Taco Bells

  • Jub

    Every Mormon I’ve ever met (admittedly not many in London) has been really nice. And as we all know, you don’t get to heaven unless you’re a Mormon – even Matt Stone and Trey Parker of South Park fame know that.

  • http://www.perilsofleisure.com Paula

    Ok. This tostada crisis is most disturbing. There aren’t many things I can eat without my stomach lashing out at me in fits of rage. The tostada, however, is one of the few my stomach actually is “ok with.” So, of course, just as I express my glee at being able to actually eat some junk food after a few years of necessary healthy eating, they totally take it off the damn menu! You can’t find a Taco bell here in Rhode Island that serves a tostada. I just assumed they took it off the menu everywhere. They haven’t served them here in about a year. So, count yourself lucky that you were able to enjoy them for this long. [sniff]

  • http://www.islandindigo.com Cindi

    now that you’re in Utah…please refrain from using words such as shit, damn, hell, fuck, etc. You must replace those with; oh my heck, darn, dang, shoot, dog-on-it, flip, fetch, freak, golly gee, for pete’s sake, etc. You’ll fit RIGHT in.

  • http://www.lipsman.com Benjy

    There’s always that culinary give and take when relocating. I spent the 6+ years I was in Atlanta on an endless quest for a real hot dog and a a good bagel, but now that I’m back in Chicago I’d kill for some Fat Matt’s ribs! At least Krispy Kreme followed me up here.

  • http://thetextobscured.net ismat

    But why??? For the love of god, why no tostadas? Next you’ll probably tell me the fajitas aren’t back in Utah, either.

  • art

    Good news – Dunkin Donuts coffee is now available on the web:


  • http://www.golf-blogger.blogspot.com Billy

    Keith is mistaken about the Starbucks. I looked in the phone book after landing in SLC while gassing up for a trip south — there were 4, I think, but nobody in the damn gas station could give me directions. I did get directions when I was in Provo from a girl — it was right down the street, but she gave me directions that took me in a big circle. Those Mormons — they are a crafty bunch; but I was not deterred in my mission to find a mocha. I don’t know about Dunkin’ Donuts or Taco Bell. But is it true that the Mormon Church bought a Coca-Cola plant and exempted Coke products from the caffeine restrictions?

  • Dave Thomas

    Ain’t no caffeine restrictions per se, beyond the well-known proscription against coffee and tea. Some Mormons have historically extended that to include soft drinks, but the Church doesn’t currently do so. I don’t know about them buying into Coke. All the Coke in all the states around the church’s HQ is owned by Swire Corp., an Asian conglomerate. Cripes, my post is boring.

  • Wayne

    Keith dude seriously thinks there are no Starbucks in Utah? Ha, I say!! According to their store locator, there are 23 in and around SLC, from Ogden to Park City.
    Now, that’s no Orange County, which stops listing at 500 stores. So you might have to drive more than, say, 500 feet to find coffee in Utah, but it’s possible.