• http://www.inapuddle.com Anne

    Are we related? I swear I have the same family as you… only every female child usually has two male names… Bobby Jean, Sammy Jo, etc. Talon, however, takes the cake.

  • michele

    Heather, congrats!
    Have you tried the Mormon name generator? I know it’s not real or anything but your current name is pretty funny :)
    Thanks for the link Hagran!

  • http://peggasus.blogspot.com PJ

    My family’s karma is this: out of all us cousins, the 7 boys had girlchildren (8 of them), and we girls (only 3 of us, who no longer carry the maiden name), have all the boychildren (6 of them).
    The family name is no more, but the genes live on!

    I almost broke the Mormon Name Generator. When I put in my full maiden name, it took about three minutes (internet cable time), and told me my name is Parkarette Christmas Holiday. What, they don’t speak Polish?

  • Marie

    Talon. Are they aware that that’s french for “heel” ? If so, I hope they don’t plan to move to france anytime soon, because that would be absolutely cruel.

  • dvl

    Talon…it’s like a goth version of the androgynous name “Pat”…

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com the mighty jimbo

    ranger and talon. you just need fist, boomer and lightning, and you have yourself one helluva superhero squad right in your own family?

    does your brother have any superpowers we should know about?

    i just hope he doesn’t get little talon a cape. cause capes are just so 1950′s.

  • matt

    OMG! Mike was right! Your site is back up!!!


    Hope you’re doing well… miss you… move back here. ;]

    Toodles chica,

  • http://www.jodiverse.com Jodi

    Kinda cool name, but some kid on a playground somewhere some year will realize that it sorta kinda resembles “tampon” … and then the fun will really begin!

    Hats off to Talon. At least he’ll probably be one of a kind. The world has too many Toms, Harrys, and, yes … Dicks.

  • http://jessca.leavinghere.com/ jessca

    Talon! nice! I like it. Screw the teasing elementary school peers, one day he’ll appreciate having an interesting name.

  • http://convivial.blogspot.com Heather #2

    Dude. Heath. We’re totally MeleKatherine’s.

    (You know most people will read that as “heeth”, as in Ledger. But you and me, we’re right here. WE know wha’s rilly goinz on. P.S. I’m never emailing you while drunk again.)

  • http://footinmouthdisease.blogspot.com Naaman

    At least they didn’t name him Naaman.

  • Keith

    Hmmmm. Sometimes it’s just fun to check out a name on a simple search engine. You never know what you might find:

    The Triad Area Leather Oriented Network (TALON) is a not-for-profit pansexual organization. …

  • http://volume22.blogspot.com/ Scott

    Talon’s obviously a girl’s name.

    I tried out that Mormon name generator and ended up with Mick BonScott Burthel which, at least to my ears, sounds more like a tribute to AC/DC than Mormon.

  • http://www.injust-spring.com Alex

    Felicidades Tia Dooce!

    Speaking of names, is it true that the latest trend in Texas is little girls being named “Abcde” pronounced AB-Se-DEE?

    God, I hope someone was just yanking my chaing and it isn’t!

  • Tiff

    No name is as bad as little cousin…Brody Lane! How awful!

  • thomas

    omg, proof there should be some agency in charge of approving all names. that poor poor innocent child.

  • http://www.swirlspice.com Irk

    Alex, that totally reminds me of a Sesame Street song Gordon used to sing about a word: AB-suh-DEF-gee-JEK-ull-ma-NOP-kwer-STU-vwix-IZ. It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seeeeeen….

  • Sam

    gotta love that morman name generator: I’m Symantha MaeRinda. Bizzar.
    And actually, I think it’d be interesting to have your kid named according to the LotR theme. Sad, yet interesting.

  • http://www.craziifresh.com vee

    talon is nothing compared to many of the names out today, although whenever I hear “talon” i automatically think of long, gaudy bright green & pink nails on some chick with big hair.

  • http://losir.com losir

    well, he can always be like, “Excuse me, it’s pronounced ‘Tah-Long’; silent G.”

  • http://www.leadingbrand.org/blog/ Justin

    If I’m saddled with “Ranger” to live up to (and play on, apparently), I go with, in order:

    1. Smith
    2. Texas
    3. Lone
    4. Ford
    5. Army

    All long before I get to Talon. But that’s just me.

  • http://www.tristynfinncherian.com Tristyn

    If it is any consolation, my mother’s friend suggested (a month after conception) I be named Bupinder if I was a boy and Vajaya if I was a girl.

    Thankfully, my parents named me a typical British public school ponce name.

    Let the ass kicking begin!

  • michele

    Irk: I thought that was Big Bird’s song!

  • e

    at least “talon” still has some masculinity…my cousin recently had a baby boy and named him, what I thought would be spelled, “brody”…turns out she girl-ified it and now has a son named “brodie” – he’s going to spend the first 12 years of his life getting his ass kicked until he wises up and gets himself a nickname so cool that people will wonder if he even has a real first name…

    congrats on the new nephew!

  • Sheila

    Talon is also a brand of zippers (good ones…always used them in 4-H).

    My Mormon name: Hershella Aarikkaa

    I’d like to see that on a NYC taxi cab license.

  • Sheila

    Dooce, are those flowers scarlet pimpernels?

  • http://www.inapuddle.com anne

    Holy shit, I haven’t heard or thought about that (yes it was Big Bird) song in more than a decade, Irk. You so just threw me back into feeling like a five year old… I had that song on a reel-to-reel.

  • http://kiwi-kath.diaryland.com Kaltighanna Starbuck

    Is that the coolest name ever? Sadly, it is my Mormonized maiden name. I should have known better than to change it…

    I’m thinking that the sort of person who names a kid Ranger is the same sort who would name a kid Major or Deacon or King. Whereas Talon?! I mean, Talon?

  • rachel

    Ooh! Someone graffiti-ed the pedestrian sign near my workplace here in Seattle, so that it now says, “Stop! It’s the CLaw.” (They spray-painted the C in front of Law.) I always picture a large menacing claw, or talon, if you will, when I drive by, threatening law-breaking motorists. Looks like the kid needs a photo for his nursery.

  • http://www.spunkythemonkey.co.uk/brainspew.asp SpunkyTheMonkey

    they named him after a ship in farscape?? SO wrong…

  • http://www.jodiverse.com Jodi

    Upon further reflection, I have decided that his middle name should be “Ted”.

    Talon Ted.

    Say it aloud for maximum impact.

  • http://42short.blogspot.com james

    don’t worry, talon is not the worst. nope, the worst is draven. he was my ex-girlfriend’s nephew. she told me that his parents saw fit to name him after a scene in their favorite movie, ‘the raven,’ in which the camera pans by the mailbox out front and the name on the box says D.Raven.

  • http://www.mediasparkles.com/blog Vera

    I think Talon is a GREAT name. Is it pronounced Tay-lawn or Tay-len? I don’t think he will get made fun of at school. Talon is no worse than Caleb or Tristan. I think all the other boys will be jealous of his name, and all the girls will want to kiss his talonous cheeks.

  • http://www.michaelcosm.com Michael

    James, who posted above me got the movie wrong. The film was “The Crow”. He is such a douche.

  • http://peggasus.blogspot.com PJ

    They apparently did not consider the fact that he will never be able to buy one of those kiddie license plates, a keyring, mug or anything else that has his name on it. The poor, poor child. My heart bleeds for him.

  • http://larue.blogspot.com GayLynn Perthenia Marne’

    Talon is bad but not nearly as bad as my Mormon name.

    Congrats Dooce!

  • http://coinz.org Shane

    (Ford) Ranger, (Eagle) Talon. I see Detroit in their future…

  • http://onotob.org Aaron

    For all the naysayers out there I just want to add (way late in the discussion) that if a kid is going to get picked on they are going to get picked on no matter what their name is. You don’t see bully victims named Robert decrying the fact that they have such a common name that causes them so much grief. At least Talon will stick out. I’m happy to say that I named my son Wisdom and I’m confident that his name will totatlly get him laid when his peers grow up enough to realize that being unique is a Good Thing. My name is Aaron and I suffered at the hand of many a bully. Sorry to blabber on so much, but I just don’t like the blame-the-victim mentality surrounding the naming of children. Kids get picked on because of sadistic bullies. I guess if we just named all kids the same, say “Boy” and “Girl”, all bullying would stop. Except, all the Boys would pick on all the Girls because they had “weird” names.

  • Suzyn

    Celebrities give their kids squirrely names, i.e., Telulah, Rumer and Scout Moore-Willis.

  • http://owensoft.net owen

    I finished metroid prime(video game) a month or so ago. dispite the pretty graphics of the over world Talon IV, I was really disappoint they made Samus Aran (the lead and only character) into a female pornstar look alike.
    I was distracted by the cnn so it didn’t sink in as it should.

    I haven’t engaged in a run of procreation yet but I plan to have my wife and myself cloned as our kids. therefore passing all our responsibilities to them and I wouldn’t have to work on saturdays :(

  • http://www.geocities.com/malisa_evans Malisa

    First, while not much of a fantasy fan, I love that series of books. So naturally I love the name Talon. Second, the mormon name thing goes on in my famiily as well. I have a sister named Emma-Lee and my son’s names are Greggory and Brylan. I tried to name my sister’s son John Schlong because her husband wanted the kid named after him. Baby naming is is probably the only mormon tradition I enjoy.

  • http://www.swirlspice.com Irk

    Oops, my bad. It was Big Bird. And I’ve had that song stuck in my head since I wrote that. Blarg!

  • http://www.lab-in-the-city.com Paula

    Hey cool, my name is

    Fauntella Birdene

  • The Drifter

    dude, that totally beats the story about how my grandpa changed his name to that of his favorite weatherman.

  • http://www.godtar.com Charles R. Kaiser


    I have a friend (and I am _NOT_ making this up) whose name is Tim Wolf.

    When we were kids in school the new teacher was taking attendance one day and called for “Timothy Wolf”. Tim said nothing. Again the teacher called out “Timothy Wolf” because she could see 20 names on the roll sheet and damned if there weren’t 20 kids in the little desks. Still no answer from Tim. Finally the teacher calls out “Tim Wolf” and Tim says “Here!” The teacher then asked why he did not answer to Timothy, and Tim replied “Because my name is Timber!”

    That’s right. I have a friend named Timber Wolf! I also have a friend in Sweden, and her name is Ylva. Ylva means wolf in Swedish.

    Congratulations on your new nephew!

  • http://homepage.mac.com/mrjerz/ certified

    Is it pronounced like the claw? I know a kid named Ta’lon and it’s pronounced Taylon.

  • http://homepage.mac.com/mrjerz/ certified

    And to add to the Timber story, I knew some brothers named Levi and Timber. Last name Wood. Timber freaking Wood. That name rocks.

  • http://strangecat.org chris

    i know a guy named tallon but there’s so much to pick on him about, that we don’t need to use his name as bait. he pronounces it tal-on.

  • http://feministe.us/blog/ ms lauren

    i accidentally named my son after batman. i blame it on the drugs.

  • http://www.thewatergirl.blogspot.com Arthea Shambertine Crille (aka the mormonized watergirl)

    talon, huh?

    myself, i’m thinking “all the way” would have been a good name. but i guess that’d sound better if your brother’s name was pluralized. (rangers all the way, ha ha.)

    seriously, though, he could have named him armstrong (so appropriate) and just nicknamed him “army”. appropriate, yes?!? ;)

    i’m planning on torturing my kids (in, you know, ten years when i have them) with celtic names, myself. a bastard i am, maybe, but my elementary class had 4 mikes and 5 jennys, and when i got to college, there were a MILLION other girls with my name. i would like a name that sticks out, and i think i’ll pass that favor on.

    congrats on talon!