All of this came out of my boobs

We were cleaning out the freezer last week and discovered all this breastmilk I had pumped and stored. Sadly, they were all WAY expired, and we had to throw them out, but my God, will you look at all that? MY BOOBS DID THAT.

Also, this picture features the Dooce Effect because I wanted to give the breastmilk its proper heavenly glow.

  • Molly

    Maybe you can use it for some of your holiday baking this year??

  • Colleen

    wow.. pretty impressive!
    I’m having a flashback to when I was serving on a criminal jury for cocaine possesion. When we went to deliberate, the cocaine was all over the table, just like that, for us 12 angry men and women to touch and pass around. I never saw so much cocaine in my life. Ditto for the breast milk pic of today.

  • http://blog.frenchbenj.com FrenchBenj

    Darling, I love you but, as a gay man, all i have to say to that picture is:
    Ewww. Ewww. Ewww.

  • Michael

    Dooce juice.

  • One Bird

    Ok, I really know that your meds are working because you are so calm about the fact that it is all expired. When I was nursing/pumping, if I had one bag of breastmilk that I had to throw away, I would cry for about 2 hours.

  • Nieuki

    My god, do they make special breast milk packs, or are those bags from your beloved Ziploc collection?

  • http://www.dooce.com taryn

    I’m currently breastfeeding and I can definitely appreciate that. Wow!

  • http://homepage.mac.com/christykilgorehadley christy

    Did you already throw it away? Breastmilk in the freezer should keep for about six months! Send it to me! I have been pumping at work, and I think the performance anxiety is depleting my supply. Nothing like sitting at your desk on the computer hooked up to the pump like some freakish graphic designer cow.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    What, exactly, would you have done with the breastmilk had it not, sadly, been “WAY expired?”

  • nadia

    ha-ha geez, I’m so not hungry now.

  • come on

    so, how long does it take for frozen breastmilk to expire anyways? (and is anyone else wondering about what appears to be giant LUMPS in that milk?)

    anyways, i’m impressed.

  • http://homepage.mac.com/christykilgorehadley christy

    Nieuki – they do make special breast milk bags. You should see all the breast-feeding accessories you can get – it’s mind boggling. My favorite is the goofy bra-band thing designed for hands-free pumping. I swear it’s the most unattractive device ever designed for the human body.

  • http://www.ipengy.com Chris From Ohio

    Suckers. Oh, the puns…

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    By the way, dooce, I just read Jon’s most recent blurb.

    He’s a good guy.

  • beautifulmess

    kind of makes me want to have a baby just so MY boobs can have special powers, too.

  • sheyna

    omg…they look like little bags of crack!

  • http://www.fudgeit.org bushra

    i don’t know which was funnier, the fact that you gazumped people about the first comment, or that you called them suckers

    as for the picture, i, i don’t know what to say.

  • http://www.lateshow.org Chris

    Not to get off topic about the breast milk, cause, um…wow, that’s a lot of breast milk. But, I too read Jon’s post and was unable to comment there so here,I’ll say that I second what Fish said. Jon IS a good guy.

  • sheyna

    not that i know what little bags of crack look like.

  • http://www.threekidcircus.com/threekidcircus Jenny

    What is so gross about breastmilk? Or is it specifically breastmilk in bags?

    OF FRANCE!!!!

  • http://rocksandgarbage.blogspot.com/ angela marie

    But if you heat them up, can a Morman baby drink them? Is it the same as slipping the unsuspecting child hot tea?!?
    Just wonderin’.

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Human Writes

    All that milk kind of makes me want a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    re: what to do with old breastmilk: Hollandaise sauce; biscuits & gravy; clam chowder; spackle; deck footings; brick mortar.

    Sorry, my grandparents grew up in the Depression. They never threw anything away.

  • http://alliteration.org Liz

    Oh…wow. Don’t know what else there is to say to THAT.

  • Sarah

    Oh! So sad that’s all expired! Breastmilk is like gold! All that time you spent pumping, just to have it go to waste. Bummer. I remember pumping, freezing it, and not ever needing it. But I only threw away like two bags… not as many as you!

  • http://www.dooce.com dooce

    Fish, if they hadn’t been WAY expired we would have mixed them vodka and kahlua and enjoyed a bounty of white russians. breast milk is very sweet.

  • http://lalawawa.blogspot.com Lauren

    d’yever shoot breastmilk for target practice, just to see how far it could go? No? Just me, eh?

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    I’m currently nursing/working/pumping, and I’ve got about that much breastmilk in MY freezer. When I weaned my oldest daughter (now 7), I ended up throwing away about 28 bags of breastmilk. I could’ve fed a small third-world country!

    Oh, and since no one (that I saw, anyway) has said this yet….

    Got milk?

    God bless,
    LadyBug

  • http://wreckingball.org/art steven

    what i find most funny is that they’re in whirlpacks, the same whirlpacks my parents (a biologist and a paleoecologist) use for collecting field samples. so. yes. that’s the first time i’ve ever seen something other than fruit fly bait, plant specimens, or bolivian lake mud in one of those bags. and it’s kind of creepy.

  • tinygirl

    you should have tried making yoghurt with that. or cheese. (:

  • http://sparkomatic.typepad.com Heather

    DOOCE JUICE had me crackin’ up.

    Kudos, Dooce, for being the first comment.
    I can never seem to get the Dooce Effect just right–it always ends up blurring the details too much.
    *sigh* i shall go and practice like a good little minion of Dooce.

    :-)
    (and i told your husband he’s wonderful.)

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Breastmilk mixer hangovers suck.

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Oh, Lauren! I used to shoot my husband in the face from across the room. Hmm….he never thought it was as funny as I thought it was. And, I’m sure he’d just LOVE the fact that I’m sharing this info here.

  • stella

    when I read the title of the email before seeing the picture, I thought I’d see a pic of rice and cabbage.

  • JM

    To a pumping/nursing mom, breastmilk in the freezer is like treasure stashed away. I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months old and literally half of our freezer was frozen breastmilk. I had close to 300 oz. and I was hording it like crazy. “WHAT?? YOU THAWED 6 OZ. BUT ONLY GAVE HER 4?? I’M CALLING MY LAWYER…”

  • http://www.oxygenvalve.com/vanessa Vanessa

    Wow — that’s a lot of milk. Boobs are marvelous things. That’s why men worship us. :)

  • http://moxiemoron.diaryland.com Moxie

    Does this give new meaning to the term “funbags”?

  • laura

    FYI from breastfeeding.com:
    Breastmillk can be stored in the freezer section of your refrigerator that has a separate door for up to 3 months.

    Breastmilk can be stored in an upright or chest freezer at a constant temperature of 0 degrees (Fahrenheit) for 6 to 12 months.

    Inquiring minds…

    I haven’t had the heart to throw out the stuff left in my freezer. All those hard fought ounces…

  • nadia

    Lady Bug: I’m from a small third-world country and…thanks but no thanks.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Nadia, that was funny.

  • laura

    so your banner was telling the truth then…..

    the one that said “my milkshake is better than yours”

    :-)

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Nadia: I wasn’t offering, ’cause, well…ewwww.

  • Brooke

    Oh. Oh my.

  • http://jumbledpileofperson.typepad.com/nichole/ nichole

    Yesterday a woman got on the city bus with an uncovered styrofoam cup. The driver told her the rules said she had to dump it, but when the passenger told her it was breast milk, she let her keep it – first time I’ve seen compassion from these drivers. Good for them.

    Hey, here’s a good (but scary, a bit) book about breast milk and other mother things: Having Faith: an ecologist’s journey to motherhood, by Sandra Steingraber.

  • Benoit

    It looks like they would now what to do with all that milk… IN FRANCE!!!!
    http://membres.lycos.fr/petitsingly/

  • http://shenuts.com sarcastic journalist

    My boobs are impressed.

  • http://www.isnotchicago.com LT

    Cantaloupe juice!

  • http://users.110.net/~brucesiart/index.htm Bruce

    boobsicles!!

  • http://www.geocities.com/mross711 Michele R

    That’s a lot of milk! I never would have thought you could freeze that! Shows what I know about babies huh?

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    that totally made my nipples hurt.