She knows how to speed dial

Do you see how wickedly happy she is?

  • Fish

    Sheryl, my dear, I would have been happy to exacerbate the problem. For instance, there is always the Ghostbusters line: “Egon, what about the Twinkie?”

    Broch: Thanks, I needed some after-dinner sarcasm.

  • Fish

    Or, the conversation may have gone straight to Twinkie the Kid, who as we all know was definitely … cheerful.

  • Sheryl

    Yes, he was quite…perky.
    Bubbling over with alacrity, to borrow one of Carol’s dad’s fave words.

  • anhedonia

    My 6 month old has his own phone, but he only wants to play with mine, especially the corded one. have you ever tried to wrestle a twisted phone cord from the grip of an astoundlingly tall 6 month old’s grip? I should invest in more cordless phones.

  • Amanda B.

    Yeah, Fish- there was this whole Fantasy Island/Star Trek argument that you could have settled.

    We missed you too.

  • Fish

    Amanda B: hmm. must’ve missed that one. I know nothing about Mr. Spock, and even less about Captain Kirk’s … Twinkie the Kid. Nor would I even imagine any comparisons between “the Twinkster” and Tattoo. So, I’m not sure I could have helped.

    By the by, your “fertility update” was entertaining.

  • Amanda B.

    No no no. It wasn’t about Spock’s twig and berries. Perv. :)

    Yep, I’m going to the doc tommorow so wish us luck.

  • The Rev

    “After slightly hitting him in The Area, as a joke…”

    Joke? You don’t understand. There’s nothing funny about getting hit there.

    “…just a slight brush…”

    A slight brush can hurt more than you know. Sometimes more than a direct hit.

  • Sheryl

    Fish, I enjoyed your post about your wife’s encounter with that strange young man in the public restroom!

    Amanda, I thought your appt was on Thu. Damn, the favors I calledin from the 700 Club and all my voodoo shit aint gonna work now cuz I got the wrong day! Doh!

  • Sheryl

    But Seriously, Amanda B, I am thinking of you and visualizing that little guy sneaking one past teh goalie real real soon.

    Fish, I was talkin bout Everett…

  • the niffer

    Good luck Amanda B!

    You were seriously missed, Fish.

    So far, I’ve refrained from commenting about screaming ovaries. But today I’m feeling strangely torn (pun intended) thanks to the combo post/10 month newsletter; my ovaries are screaming yes, but my vagina is screaming no.

  • Fish

    Sheryl: re: “your wife’s encounter with that strange young man in the public restroom”


    Say goodnight Sheryl.

    (P.S. I got the joke the first time. No worries).

    Query: does it really “hurt” the ovaries to see cute babies? Is that where you feel it, or is it just an expression?

    Inquiring Fish wants to know.

  • Fish

    Amanda B: I join Sheryl in urging your … er … “little guy” to “sneak one past the goalie real real soon.”

    Not sure that’s the way I’d have put it, however. I don’t think I’d like to visualize it, either, now that I think of it …

  • Amanda B.

    It actually hurts, Fish. Twinge. Tingle. Ache. Neeeeed.

    P.S. Thanks Sheryl, my gal! and Niffer!

    P.P.S. Kudos to DL and BabyFish (who we are calling-? Everett? Wilford? Pedro?) That kid has a beautiful, perfectly round melon. See what bypassing that nasty birth canal can do for a baby!

  • Sherly

    Twerp. Fish.

  • Amanda B.

    Uh, what I said sounded bad, with the tingle and the need and whatnot. I didn’t mean it like that.

    Fish and Sheryl- my husband said, “Please ask them not to refer to them as my “little guys”. My guys are freakin huge!”

    P.S. Sorry for the chit chat Dooce.

  • Marley

    Short-term reader, first time caller. Cute baby. She always looks happy, in a full stick of butter sort of way.

  • Nikki

    Dooce, I am new to the website, but I can’t stop reading it! It’s a welcome distraction from studying. Leta is cute, cute, cute!!!

  • Shiz

    Leta is my hero; not afraid of the phone. I’m shy on the phone. I’m shy a lot.

  • juli

    I love your letters to Leta. I hope she appreciates them when she gets older, but be prepared for the phase in which she *hates* anything you write about her. Say in about 13 years.

  • Shiz

    And in the newsletter/soap suds pic, she looks like a Kewpie Doll. But better.

  • Yajaira

    All the pictures of Leta are absolutely precious. She’s such a beautiful baby :) . Her newsletter brought tears to my eyes, from laughter–because I know *just* what you’re talking about, and because it was just that touching.

  • DeAnn

    She’s too smart for her own good, isn’t she?

  • Ashe

    Leta is as scrumptious as ever. I could gobble up those chubby cheeks whole. But I guess you got first dibs on those yummy cheeks already. *Sigh*

    Equality?I don’t think there’s such a thing when it comes to the question of the opposite sexes. Men will never, ever know the pain of labor. Not even getting kicked in the place-in-between will we ever come close. And for that, I salute all mommies out there.

  • shauny

    the month ten photos are just stunning, she is one gorgeous wee baby. and the ‘equality’ entry has seen off the last of my maternal urges for good… hehe :)

  • Xenne

    I have to say, after having 3 children and passing 4 kidney stones. The kidney stones were the worst pain I have ever felt.

    Sure the total experience of childbirth was gross, massively incovenient and made me feel about as far from a fresh spring daisy as I could feel. And that full fresh spring daisy feeling never returned.

    But the feeling of those stones ripping through my kidney and slowly bludgeoning their way through the exit tubes to my bladder and then bludgeoning their way through my bladder and scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaping through my urethra, and then coming out through the peehole. Mind you this took about 2 and a half weeks for the whole process.

    I heard from my doctor that the pain is the same for men and for women for kidney stones even though men think it’s worse.

    Horrifying pain. I get the sweats just thinking about this.

  • Xenne

    I forgot to say that child birth was painful.

    Don’t get me wrong. It was, very, especially for the first one which was fast and violent ( 2 hours total ). I actualy thought I was going to die.

    But for the stones, I knew I was going to die. And I wanted to.

  • Rebekah

    Dooce is at 6.8%

  • Fish

    Wow, Xenne, that was marvelously graphic. Thanks, truly, for sharing.

  • lulu cornichon

    Now my *entire* bottom system is cowering in fear.

  • Chloe

    Babies loooooooove phones… my daughters face lights up every time we have it to our ear… and BTW… my daughter has that SAME dress!

  • Red


  • Laura C.

    Speed dial rocks, and so does Leta.

  • Whoopsie

    one of the best toys ever!!

  • the original kp

    awww so cute!

  • wendee

    It’s amazing how much babies LOVE phones!!

  • Angie

    Leta would make a great Bond villain with an expression like that!

  • red

    the new pictures of Leta are SO CUTE.

  • Martha

    LOL She almost looks posessed.

  • Deenzadrine

    Still melting from the adorableness of the 10 month newsletter photos… sigh…

  • Cheryl

    I would check and see if she is calling her boyfriend… and she isn’t allowed to date until AFTER she’s married. Leta is too adorable for words.

  • Sarah

    Good GOD, Woman. Your daughter is just fucking gorgeous. I seriously feel nauseus from the cuteness, what with the unbelievable pictures in the 10-month newsletter!

    And by the way, screaming SHUUUUUTT UUUUP is an excellent release. It’s far better than tossing the kid out the window of a moving vehicle, which is what most of us want to do.

  • Molly

    Too Cute!! She looks like she is in Heaven!!

    “Hey, Yo! Pizza man, my dog Chuck here is wondering where his Pizza is..”

    BTW: I love those sheets or that quilt or whatever it is.. it looks comfy..

  • sab

    she’s so damn cute!

  • christy

    Phones and remotes – they’re like baby crack. And don’t try to substitute the children’s toy versions. They know they’re not the real thing.

  • Beth

    Between the newsletter and this picture, the ovaries have TOTALLY been hammered.


  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    One look at the thumbnail for this picture, and all I could think was “Alien penis! Alien penis!”

    Maybe Leta could speed dial me some counseling?

  • Jodi

    Speed dial is a wonderful thing, except when you have relatives in another country and in an attempt to keep your sanity while calling them and having to dial 14 digits and then some, you program it in. Then you have your niece over for the afternoon and she doesn’t know about the calling card for long distance and she calls Aunt Mary in Japan – and you’re thinking how cute it is that she’s pretending to call Aunt Mary and how good she is at holding a conversation – wow, wait until I tell my sister how cute this is!? Then you get your phone bill, $367 later you forgot what was so cute about letting a 2 year old play with a phone in the first place …

  • Mrs.Stray

    Holy shit she looks down right meniacal! I think I just spelled that wrong.

    I would be scared if I were you. Very, very scared.

  • PoeticaL

    “Grandmommie??? Grandmommie???? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?”