She knows how to speed dial

Do you see how wickedly happy she is?

  • Sue From Ohio

    It’s amazing…she always has that little mischievous grin when you get pictures of her doing some things. Almost like she knows maybe she shouldn’t be doing it.

    Oh and on the telling her ‘No’ thing, don’t worry aout it…it’s to keep her safe. I know it’s not easy but I know far too many parents that seem to let their 3 year olds tell THEM what to do…and using big words to tell her ‘no’ will only IMPROVE her vocabulary :)

  • http://miniaturerose.blogspot.com Rose

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for another beautiful picture and poignant 10-month letter. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you give complete strangers a lift every single day.
    I trust that the doobie-smoking Santa has been evacuated from your mother’s home?
    May you have a wonderful holiday season.

  • Colleen from NJ

    She’s on her way to gadget geekdom. It starts out with a simple love of pushing buttons.

    You know, I never thought I’d yell so much as a mom. But DAMN IT, IT WORKS WHEN NOTHING ELSE DOES.

    Wait until you develop the stern “Leta……!!!” voice.

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    Call me, Leta. We’ll go out and get some Cheerios or something.

  • http://chickenflicken.blogspot.com ChickenFlicken

    I have twins, and when they’d get cranked up in the backseat…

    (yes, that high-pitched squealing scream IN STEREO!!! Dazzling!!)

    …not only would I do the long drawn-out shut up battle yell, I would also turn the music up really loud. Because I’m really mean to my kids, that’s why.

  • http://kimba-bremen.com kim

    she’s a woman with a phone in her hands – of course she’s happy.. duh!

  • http://jbsides.blogspot.com/ Jodi

    Just wait until she dials 911! My daughter did that while playing with the phone when she was 6 months old. I didn’t realize it and just hung up the phone.

    The 911 operator called me back and asked if everything was alright. I was incredibly confused and then realized what had happened. I told the operator my daughter must have dialed it. She said, “Well don’t punish her. We don’t want her to be afraid to call if she ever needs to use 911.” I suppressed my laugh and said okay.

    The joys of kids! :)

  • http://www.lateshow.org Chris

    If Leta is speed dialing now, I’d say make sure 911 isn’t programmed in but the pizza place IS! (Chuck asked me to say that)

  • Chris

    Heather, we have the same baby. I swear. The screaming, the face clawing, the not putting weight on the legs, the magazine shredding. My son will be ten months next week.

    This is freaky. Oh, I started saying NO three days ago. He laughs and lunges for the forbidden object anyway. So, good luck.

    We should make sure never to get them both in the same state at once, for a start.

  • http://www.totallyrosalie.com Rosalie

    hit up my cell, leta!

  • http://www.mycircuslife.com Circus Kelli

    That is a GREAT photo!

    My 2-1/2 year old loves the “hello”, but only our 1 year old has turned it on and started dialing…

  • http://www.upsaid.com/kgrp kgrp

    um… she matches the bedspread! what’s up with that?!

  • http://prettycrabby.com Em

    Woman, STOP GIVING ME BABY MADNESS!

  • Russ

    The Scream has been well documented, but has it been recorded? Not for any cutesy purpose like an interactive scrap book, but more for payback. Save it for when she’s a teenager and instead of waking her up in the morning with the Maternal War Cry (you all know what I mean.. the sound of a mother yelling to wake her kids up in the morning..my ears bleed just thinking about it..).. Instead you can have the pleasure of waking her up to her own screaming as you play it over and over again till she gets out of bed … Think of the fun you can have when she gets her first hangover… MWAH HAH HAH HAH… Victory shall be yours.

  • beachgal

    How adorable. She’s so darn cute. And the no thing gets better. Before I used to have to say it a hundred times for my son to quit whatever he was doing. Now it only takes one, sometimes two. And I’m so glad I’m not the only one who sometimes yells at their child. I feel horrible after I’ve done it but sometimes it’s the only thing that breaks through and makes him stop screaming. Love you Dooce!

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/12_07_2004.html Circus Kelli

    Russ — you are a genius! I LOVE that idea!

    Sometimes, rather than screaming in retaliation to the screaming (and with three kids, there is a LOT of screaming going on already) I will begin to hum “It’s a Small World” or some other catchy little ditty. Sometimes it works. Other times, I just yell “That’s ENOUGH!” which stuns them for a moment — long enough for me to decide what to do next.

    Good luck!

  • Jennifer

    shit….you mean they don’t grow out of the car-seat screaming by 10 months??? Fuck me, my daughter is only 5 months old and screaming back at her doesn’t help, I’ve tried…

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    I’m not usually one of the “cutest baby EVER” types, but those pics in the newsletter? Just…stunning.
    I’m also not usually one of the “your newsletter made me cry” types, but I’ve been an emotional wreck lately; and your newsletter did, indeed, bring me to tears. What a sweet treasure for lovely Leta.

    God bless,
    LadyBug

  • http://www.sweetney.com sweetney

    leta’s thinking: “soon i will take over THE WORLD!!! mooohooohahahaha!!!” (<—mad scientist laugh)

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Stray

    LMAO Dr.Fever

  • http://www.kimmings.co.uk juuuuuuu

    jennifer – they never grow out of that car screaming thing! I still do it now…
    On a telophony trip – my sone is never happier than when he has my mobile in his hands and he’s pressing last number redial. What a dude

  • http://blogs.salon.com/0002504 Anita

    Dooce–

    Dude. Great letter and what a great human wonderful Mom you are.

    Does the Baaaaah scream sound accusatory? That’s what we’re getting now. An accusatory scream filled with baby cuss words. If we could translate, it would all be bleeps. But it’s something along the lines of YOU STUPID F*CKING PEOPLE! WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING EXACTLY WHAT I WANT? YOU ARE IDIOTS and I HATE YOU!!! COME HERE NOW!!!! LET ME SCREAM AT YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FACES!!!

    It’s adorable (!).

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/deodand/ Carolyn J.

    It’s time to set up a Dial Leta Hotline, where we can listen to her screams for only $4.95 per minute. Call 1-407-865-476-LETA.

  • http://www.august95.blogspot.com august95

    She is so sweet, you could eat her with a spoon

  • http://angoras.blogspot.com/ TracyDee

    Way too cute…:) are those teeth I see?

  • http://www.goodnightweb.com/blog Liz

    Hehe, buttons, buttons! Has she discovered the remote(s) yet?

  • http://cecesworld.blogspot.com Cece

    Dooce…those eyes…in the newsletter picture…your daughter is so beautiful!

  • http://bornfamous.com lavonne

    last night, nbc showed some never-before-seen video of princess diana in which, among other fascinating things, she sternly told her offscreen 8-year-old princeling, “Harry, SIT.” i loved it.

  • Whoopsie

    When my now 9 year old daughter was just under a year old, I let her play with the cordless phone in the same way. When she lost her interest in it and tossed it aside, I realized she’d managed to turn it on. Uh oh…I turned it off and it promptly rang…”Hello, this is 911 emergency. We received a call from this number. Is everyone okay in your residence?” ack!

  • http://blog.lib.umn.edu/webs0080/posts Eric

    My mom calls that kind of hair “frog fur”. Some of us don’t outgrow it. When unwashed, it looks “like it was combed with buttered toast.”

  • cee

    let’s hope she won’t take an interest in that awesome camera you’re always holding out in front of her…….

  • http://www.thejulietfiles.com JulieT

    I actually had the pleasure of watching Boohbah last night before bed. I thought the Telletubbies were bad! Something MUST be done about Boohbah.

  • http://misspriss.org becky

    that grin is manic. too cute!

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    get used to it. in about 13 years you won’t get that thing back.

  • http://throughlife.blogspot.com kEma

    Gosh, she is smashing. Call Me Leta, call me..

  • http://www.livejournal.com/~musikeepsmesane Thalia

    Watch out for those random calls to Japan! Those can be pricey ;)

  • http://bleeblahblog.blogspot.com Shmee

    Girl, you have some nice textiles.

    BTW, Fish has posted guppy’s birth story…finally:

    http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com

  • amit

    WOW, i did not realize that this was such a popular blog, there are like hundreds of comments already, it’s craaaaaaaazy…congrats on the success

  • http://www.commuterchaos.com Kieran

    A kid with a phone is cute. I bought my niece a toy cellphone when she was a infant and it was probably the cutest thing ever

  • http://occupant.org/anna lulu cornichon

    My husband gave his old cellphone to a three-year-old friend of ours, and apparently he’s been getting a lot of calls from Batman.

    And Batman likes to call during dinner. How rude.

  • http://nowhere.com moose

    That photo up front of the Kewpie Doll with the shampoo ‘do is HYSTERICAL.

  • happy to live in one of the blue states

    here’s the thing: if you keep explaining and teaching and letting her know why, she will want you to keep doing it, and explain the rationale behind the rules, again and again, even when she is 27. or 7. and it will drive you crazy. You will never get to say “because I said so” with it having any true weight.
    It will also make it possible for her to question authority (I don’t want to be a mormon!), to find her own answers (I thnk we should try another way), it will make her strong enough to stand up to her peers (No, I don’t think running across the railroad tracks is very smart), and make her smarter, more intelligent, more wise, more wonderful, and give her more sparkle, than if she just had to blindly follow someone else’s path. She will turn into the leader and citizen and person she is meant to be.

  • http://uniquelyalike.com marie

    Good *god*, the second photo of Leta in the sink is just adorable.

    She’s beautiful.

  • Lisa

    So cute! hehehehe.
    As for the long drawn out SHUTTT UPPPP! in the car, don’t feel bad I find it is a very effective tool to stopping the screams. It doesn’t scare my one year old just distracts her into silence and then giggles. Nice to know she finds it funny, wonder what she will be like aas a teenager…………

  • http://jamsjunction.diaryland.com Jamie

    My uterus is screaming, ovaries are twitching, and my heart is melting. I get it already! I have to get me one of those!

  • http://users.110.net/~brucesiart/watt/index.htm Bruce

    hey… I kept getting hang up calls yesterday…
    take that phone away!

  • http://shenuts.com Sarcastic Journalist

    i’m all about no real toys. i let my baby play with knives and she’s totally happy. i’ll have to remember the phone thing, though. especially on the days the knives are all covered in blood.

  • http://biodtl.diaryland.com biodtl

    Shut Up is perfectly fine. Just yesterday, I asked my girlfriend if I was horrible for wanting to tell my 13 month old to Shut the Fuck Up. She said no.

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/12_07_2004.html Circus Kelli

    happy to live in one of the blue states said at 09:11AM, 12.07.2004:

    Happy — you are right about that. The more you explain, the more they WANT you to explain… and just wait until the “Why Mommy?” phase. (I can go from explanation to “just because!” in about three “Why?s”)

    Although… there are times when NO! is the only thing that will come out fast enough and keep them from harm.

    I love what you said about “explanations” giving Leta more sparkle! I don’t know if the world is ready for Leta to have more sparkle then she does now.

    One of the perogatives of parenthood, is the “first name and second name” attention getter. “Kelli Jean!” used to stop me in my tracks when I was little.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    “Stay away! Or so help me God, I’ll call child protective services right now! Speed dial number 3!”