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It will come with a money back guarantee

I call dibs on the patent for a hair barrette that when touched by the child whose hair it is pulling back from the forehead SHOCKS the child’s hand and gives her a mild, cautionary concussion. This afternoon while refusing to take a second nap such a child jerked a barrette out of her hair [...]


There’s nothing so disarming as to show up a little worried to a predominantly Mormon play group with Mormon mothers and Mormon babies and be greeted by the hostess with, “Wassup, Ho Bag?”