• Carrie

    “Leta should feel lucky because I can’t think of a better compliment from a living creature.”

    Amen, Heather. I love Chuck so much! I already can’t wait for year 2 of the calendar. I feel like this story is a bonus with tomorrow being Chuck Friday!

  • http://www.zahlaway.com Jon Z.

    Hmmmmm … I used to be a military police k-9 handler; sounds to me like Chuck might have found a career path.

  • http://jenniam.com jennIam

    you just make me laugh and laugh and laugh at the randomness (and the not so random Leta).

  • http://bucky4eyes.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Just please, please, PLEASE don’t let this teach Leta lessons about hatin’ on argyle. Argyle is so misunderstood in our society. Just say “no” to argyle abuse.

    And Chuck could totally use Bronx’ legs as toothpicks when he gets done devouring him.

  • http://barbie2be.blogspot.com barbie2be

    oh. my. GOD! i am so glad that i was only drinking water when i read this post. :)

  • http://www.indigitalcircles.com/dcfitzg Devon

    Chocolate treat in argoyle wrapping… hahhahaha. What a description! I’ve chuckled quietly to myself about this much of the morning.

  • http://bluetickdig.com Alexis Gallisa

    Chuck was simply trying to end that poor dogs misery of having to wear a sweater. Not only is boxer a little dog, but he is a little dog in a pretty sweater. Talk about feeding the little dog complex.

  • Kelly

    OMG – I really shouldn’t read this at work. Your writing cracks me up Heather!

  • http://www.justsayjes.com jes

    Question: Does having a dog mean that you get more exercise? You know, because you have to run after it and take it outside and search for it up and down the street when it escapes?

    Because I’ve been thinking of getting a dog, but this is really my only reason.

  • monkey

    Animals are great like that. They have this whole indifferent act till shit goes down, and then suddenly it’s like “Aww…so ya DO care!” My cat is the same way. When we’re watching him he acts as though my younger son doesn’t even exist. But then we catch him sneaking in the boys’ bedroom and keeping an eye on them, especially if one of them is sick. I just figured he has a “cool” act.
    Kudos to giving Chuck a phobia of the house next door! LOL We used to do things like that all the time to our dogs. I feel horrible, but damn it was funny!

  • http://givingmommy.typepad.com/giving_mommy/ katem9579

    Wow. I have also experianced this between by 24 month old and her bullie brother. But he is a bit more terrifying at 70 lbs. I have seen him change drastically since she came in our lives. I dont think we hd ever heard him bark before she came and now any little tink he thinks that someone is coming in the house to kill his precious sister. They really are protective. I think to them they also see them as their kids since they have watched them evolve since birth. Hopefully, Chuck doesnt get territorial over other people/ friends coming into the home. They can take it a little far sometimes.

  • Kem White

    I love the pictures of Bronx. But those ears! They’re amazing. He’s like the dog batboy would own.

  • HoneyBee


    Your post reminded me of a Deep Thought by Jack Handy:

    “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

  • Erin

    Oh how I loves me some animal stories.

  • Torence


    My dog is afraid of Stationary Roller blades…
    Im still not sure why o_O

  • http://bobobanjoey.typepad.com Joel Cheatwood

    Love that! When our kids were small we had a Shetland Sheepdog (Sheltie)who was exactly that way. Whenever we raised our voices even a little towards the kids he would position himself between us and them, which was kind of annoying and wonderful all at the same time. When strangers would come to the house he would immediately locate the kids and stay in close proximity. I’m pretty sure that’s why I became a dog person.

  • MissusB

    Sigh….Chuck is the shit.

  • http://www.justsayjes.com jes

    When thinking of Chuck in this way, all that came to mind was:

    “I need a herooooo – I’m holding out for a heeeroo til the end of the niiigheetttttt!

    “He’s gooootta be strong, and he’s goooootta be fast and he’s goootta be fresh from the fiiight…I neeeeed a heeeeerooooooo!”

    And then I started thinking about Footloose, and how I haven’t seen it since I was in middle school and watched it every day when I got home, and I think this song is playing when they’re in that tractor chicken-fight, right?

    And then I was imagining Chuck running down that road, playing Chicken with the Argyle Sweater. Er, Bronx.

    And Chuck totally won. Argyle ended up floating down the river.

  • Renae

    Dogs are awesome creatures. When I was a baby our dog would sleep under my crib, when I would wake up in the middle of the night Spook would run in to my parents’ room to get them. If I started to cry he would grab the corner of their comforter and pull it off the bed. Then when I learned to walk he would trot just ahead of me, close enough so that I could grab on to him if I started to fall.

    My current dog is rather hyper, and quite large, but he is absolutely amazing with kids, so gentle and so protective, it’s adorable.

  • untitledlife.com

    Dogs always do something sugary sweet and endearing like this right before they puke up gummy bears on your sofa. It’s their way of keeping balance in the world.

  • http://chocklate.blogspot.com/ Meepers

    I’m so happy you’ve opened comments up again! I think Bronx it might be more of a Fig Newton than a Pop Tart. Chuck has come a long way from having his feet Windex’d to “Don’t let It Touch Me” to “My Personal Human Lollipop that I Must Protect.” My sister and I are perpetually calling each other and saying, “Did you read Dooce today? Did you see Chuck/Heather/Jon/’s _______’s? SO CUTE!” Happy five years and thank you for inspiring so many people. By the way, next time you’re in Santa Barbara to see Radiohead (my husband and I were there both of those nights- do you remember their cover of “Cinnamon Girl”?) shoot me an email – I’d be happy to send you a few tips of Things to Do and See… SB isn’t as

  • *boring
  • as it may appear at first glance.

  • Molicious

    Wow, comments again huh? Cool!

    That dog is just the cutest. But not as cute (or even precious) as Chuck.

  • Torence

    My Dog did something similar to one of my Ex-Boyfriends. He came over, this was a few years after we broke up, and we were sitting and talking. Chyenne (my Dog) was being “Tolerant” Of him. Letting him pat her head but not her tummy. She was looking at him weird and not wagging her tail. She has NEVER done this, she loves people and will do anything to make them love her, but not him. A few minutes passed and he started to stand up, it was then that Chy jumped into my lap, beared her teeth and began growling at him. Shes not a small dog either, shes a border collie. I had to make him leave, there was just no other option. I could have put her outside, but I love her =D. She loves my now boyfriend, he knows how to throw tennis balls.

  • http://shoeism.blogspot.com Thérèse

    That’s adorable.

    Oddly enough, my (enormous attack/guard) cat does that for my (jittery yet thank god not yappy chiwawa/terrier) dog.

  • http://www.glamorouse.blogspot.com the kim half of glamorouse

    OK, comments on. Twice in one week. It is sort of making my heart race. Giddy like you get when you receive the first pay check and it dawns on you that “it’s mine, all mine!” (even if it was for like, $49 or something).

    I don’t even have anything to say. It’s just one of your rockin’ tales from the burbs. But here I am typing. Smiling like a loon. Ludicrous really.

  • http://www.verymerryseamstress.com/weblog/ verymerryseamstress

    prac·tice dog (prak’tis dawg): a sweater-clad pseudo-canine-rat creature that indecisive people will adopt to ensure they can someday commit to owning a real Chuck-sized dog.

  • http://www.spectacularlynormal.blogspot.com Irina

    If I were Chuck I would try to eat Bronx too…but mostly because of his ears. Can he fly with those?

  • dayslikethese

    Hilarious! Chocolate Dog! I love the sweater. Chuck for president. The Chocolate Dog for best dressed. You’ve got my vote.

    Chuck seems to be very protective and that’s a good thing. I can recall a moment when Leta thought it would be a good idea to go down the steps and he protected her from tumbling down. He’s a genius! I love it, love it, love it.

  • http://www.babblefishe.blogspot.com Hannah B.

    I laughed until I cried–and that’s a good thing. Too rare, lately, so thanks for the lift. I think my cat would recognize that evil side, as I have one of my own. Never had such good material as a stuffed yak with which to work, though.

  • http://eyesaverted.blogspot.com/ Wicked H

    And that is why the Former Congressman ROCKS!!!

  • ferlr

    How cute! Chuck looks very similar to my Stella, however, she is such a pansy and won’t protect her own treats, much less the kids. Oh well.

    But here is a funny/mean trick that will allow you to watch Chuck jump sky high…compressed air. Take the can of compressed air that you clean your keyboard gunk out with and when Chuck is good and asleep spray near (not too close, thats just plain hateful!) his bottom system. LORD that is the funniest thing. Stella is now afraid of all cylander shaped objects

  • http://www.charlieandnina.com Nina

    Leta is a lucky little girl. She just better not have any argyle covered boyfriends in the future. (but then if her boyfriends are argyle covered, perhaps it’s okay if Chuck wants to eat them?)

  • http://www.poopandboogies.com William

    With Easter right around the corner, a chocolate cat in argyle would make a nice addition to Chuck’s basket.

  • http://www.warmheatherette.com WarmHeatherette

    Nothing better than seeing your “first” baby grow protective of the “second” one. Chuck gets my vote for president.

  • Pepius

    I’m not a dog person, but from this moment I declare myself a fan of Chuck!!
    Besides I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to leave comments open. I hope the Internet gives you at least a little part of the love you give us.

  • http://www.ragandboneshop.net Wayne

    Adorable. Chuck is the best.

    When I was a kid, our small cocker-spaniel/poodle mix would bare its teeth and growl whenever my father spanked us. Once he even got his teeth locked on the cuff of my father’s jeans. I know it’s not fashionable to assign animals emotions, but there was something there that went beyond instinct, it seemed.

    Anyway, I enjoyed reading this.

  • http://easter.livejournal.com The Pink Bride

    When my parents were engaged, my dad’s mother had a little rodent, er, miniature pinscher. He was Satan in a five-pound package and the only way you could pick him up was if he was dangling from your arm by his teeth. Any attempt to clothe him (in argyle or otherwise) would have resulted in a blood transfusion.

    From the time I was ten until I was twenty-six, I had a sibling in the form of a Soft-Coated Wheaten terrier. In sixteen and a half years he never growled at anyone until the day my cousins and I built a snowman in the yard. We have pictures of him trying to destroy it. That was his moment of glory and we let him think he was saving us from monsters, as he normally would jump the meter reader and the UPS man and start licking their faces. When he died, the whole in our lives seemed as big as the Sahara.

    Glad to see that Chuck was safe after his little escapade while you were away. Give him a pat from a woman who still misses her furry brother very much.

    All the best.

  • http://ecoteat.blogspot.com Amy

    Wow, you’re keeping comments on?! Leta is lucky to have Chuck. I wonder if my ferocious cat will be protective of my new baby when it comes or try to eat it.

  • http://www.rickshawdiaries.blogspot.com Baraka

    “Kids are always covered in dried food and must seem like giant walking lollipops to dogs”


  • http://www.postednote.com eddeaux

    Did you forget to turn off these comments? I am so giddy that comments are on that I have to leave one more.

  • http://claireseuroamerica.blogspot.com Claire

    You guys have a great dog! Although I do think that he looks like a sock puppet in some of his pictures.

    I had to tell you about the SECOND best dog in the world Coco(see, I am hoping that you will read my comment by sucking up to your dog). She was a chow-husky mix and just beautiful. We got her just before my 9th birthday. She slept in my bed almost every night until I went to college. Coco did not liked to be held, but the day I left for college she stood still and let me hug her for 10 minutes. It was like she knew. My sophomore year, my mother called. Half-way through the normal conversation, she blurts out, “Your dad has something to tell you.”

    My step-father got on the phone and told me that Coco had passed away. It took him 5 minutes to convince me that he was not kidding. I was devistated. I still miss Coco to this day.

    I am married to a wonderful man now, but he doesn’t want a dog. This is a small problem, but one I am afraid could become a big one.

    I hope that Leta knows how special “Elmo dog” is. Every little girl deserves such a friend.

  • Samara

    I heart Chuck. If there was a dog president I think he would be a fine candidate.

  • http://plazajen.blogspot.com Jennifer in Kansas City

    I ’bout wet my pants that comments were still on!
    Woohoo for Argyle! But triple woo-hoo for Chuck and his Homeland Security Systems. You never know when terror will stroll through in the guise of a wily min-pin……

  • http://www.hopefulloser.com hopefulloser

    I’m jealous our cats don’t respond this way. Although one of them did try to mount our daughter when she was in the crawling stage. He would also run around with her binky in his mouth. That’s all quite dog-like.

  • Trish D

    My daughter, Roxy, chews on teething biscuits made with maple so she smells like a little maple lollipop all day long. That’s great that Chuck protects Leta. Every girl needs a big brother like that!

  • http://jenieb.blogspot.com Jenie

    I forgot a funny story (ok well..funny now) about a dog my grandma used to have. The dog and my sister were very close and used to play very roughly with each other, in other words, that dog would let my sister do anything to her.

    One day when my sister was about 4(?), she did something and my grandma put her over her knee to spank her. My sister was crying and screaming, and you know what that dog did? Bit my grandma. After that, whenever my sister was in trouble, the dog got put into another room. They stayed close until the dog died when my sister was 17.

  • http://www.postednote.com eddeaux

    OMW – you are still the Queen of funny…

    “like a gymnast or a flamboyantly gay ice skater.”

  • Annie

    Yeah… that taxidermy story sounds really funny until you’re walking past a stuffed moose and your husband makes a noise that sounds like an elephant pooping out a Buick. You, in turn, scream like a small child and shriek out, “OHMYGOD IT’S NOT DEAD.”

    Then it’s just funny to other people, and you bury it deep in your subconsious while pretending it never happened. Until you post it on the world’s most famous blog, that is.

  • http://www.paintingchef.com PaintingChef

    And some people have the nerve to say that animals have no emotions…

  • http://htt://www.spaces.msn.com/curlysueandlittlechester/ Curlysue

    Pets, you got to love them. I took my cockapoo in yesterday to be groomed and he ended up coming out looking like he weighed 3 lbs instead of the normal 10.5! Poor guy almost needed a sweater but I refuse to put one of those on my dog. I was already mean and took away his giant sized balls he had for such a small dog. lol