• sarandipity

    Oh my lord people are weird. And need more interesting things to do in their lives.

    For the record, I LOVE your site so much, and was so aghast that ANYONE could not like you, that I immediately registered myself, just so I could leave a comment stating, simply:

    YOU ROCK! YOU ROCK! YOU ROCK!!! (I TOO, have an exclamation point addition).

    Heather, you’re a great mom, you clearly love Leta more than anything in life, and you’re doing her MAJOR FAVORS for the rest of her life by approaching things with a touch of humor. You make me laugh all the time.

    I think you’re fabulous. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong and sucks at life. :)

  • Dr. Mommy

    Hi Heather,

    Had to comment on this, I read you religously, and have many times found myself laughing out loud (although this is the first time I’ve commented). Frankly I don’t understand why people feel compelled to attack other peoples personal web pages. If you don’t like it, don’t read it (isn’t that what free choice is all about?).

    I also have a tiny person in my house, I also suffered terribly from post-partum, so I have seen myself in many of your writings.

    Cheers to you and to Jon and to Leta,

    Dr. Mommy.

  • http://www.8stab8.com Becky

    Man, those are ridiculous emails. I’m so, so, so glad that you’re finding a way to ignore them. You sort of remind me of Howard Stern in a way (no, wait, hear me out…) He has such a huge following of people who both love and hate him, however BOTH groups religiously listen to him every single day. In your case that would be read, but same difference.

    Sometimes people are so unhappy in their own lives they have to send emails to other people who are doing just fine. I guarantee if you met these people in person they would not say these things to you. I guarantee if you looked into their lives, you’d see quite a lot of tarnish.

    You have courage and talent and honesty. Keep writing and growing and changing as you naturally will and I appreciate that you share that with us.

  • http://blogin_idiot.blogspot.com Michael

    I’m not sure if I should laugh out loud or go for a serious spiteful entry just so you would use me on your next rant.

    Some tough competition, not sure if I could make the grade.

    Take Care

  • LateModel

    I have no tolerance for the haters. I hate them.

  • tyratae

    hey, dooce, if you get an answer about where we can find that party on the Island of FagLesbian, you’ll share, right?

    how about if i add more exclamation points?


    (which of course you’re sponsoring single-handedly, right, since clearly you’ve sold out to the point where you must be making a gazillion dollars(!!!!!) every day(!!!))

  • Z

    I heard that no goat balls were sweaty on FagLesbian Island!

  • TheGirlWho

    Keri R. said:
    “i’ve deleted you from my bookmarks.

    i’m starting an “I Hate Dooce” club.

    I’ll send you the link.”

    I am pissing myself over that. From I’VE DELETED YOU to I’LL SEND YOU THE LINK. Hatefully courteous, that Keri is. Keri, I’ll say my prayers for you tonight darlin’ because it’s all so very sad.

    Dooce (exclamation point exclamation point)
    Really, you do need a Dear Dooce monthly newsletter. That way you’ll look forward to the worst of the emails.. Instead of a heart filling with dread, you’ll get so excited… I can just picture it..

    “Oh my god Jon, this dude says Chuck is ugly!”
    “Awesome!” He’ll shout. “Put it in the newsletter!”
    “This lady says my writing sucks… but it’s the same lady that sent four emails last month.. Why IS she still reading”
    Jon giggles gleefully. “Another newsletter goodie!”

    I’m more excited than when Doritos came out with Extra Spicy.. this’ll be spectacular.

  • http://nomad.mindsay.com Nomad


    I am very glad you write what you do. For those astonished at your writing topics, I think we should remind them that that’s what a blog is all about. An online web log. An online journal… you know, like the kind that you write in, about your daily activities, your thoughts, secret crushes, quotes, babies, husbands, political inclinations…

    Oh, and I love the idea of a trap door to hell. Judgment Day! *snap-crackle-pop* and *swoosh* (!!!) – the heathens fall down into the earth, trap door spinning wildly where they once stood. Cliche red Devil maniacally rubs his hands together, all the while atop the earth the pious and righteous rejoice (they are victorious against drugs, sex, and rock and roll and never waivered, after all), inevitable falling to their darker desires in a heady moment of weakness- which of course would be writing spiteful, mean-spirited and frankly, poopy emails.

  • Karen KH

    I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…

    you have my unsolicited and unwavering support…

  • http://www.geokaz.com geokaz

    I have a three month old son and recently began posting on my site a series of vignettes called “Memoirs on Mommihood.” Not just a stranger but one of my best friends from college had the nerve to tell me that suggesting I thought the glow of pregnancy was really the sweat of nausea and that the whole nine months was tortorous for me would make my son believe I didn’t love him when he grew up. Bad mommy, bad mommy! At least I’m in good company. And frankly, I’d rather be in your company, Dooce, than psuedo friends who swing judgemental sticks at my head with the same relish that I reserve for eating a pint of Haagen Daaz Vanilla.

  • tinfoilsoldier

    Heather, I love your site
    My sister found the link to your site on my site and we both love your site, Leta, your dog and everything.

    I think that you aren’t a real website until you have people that hate you, its part of the internet.

    Ads on the page ? don’t bother me one bit, in fact I think it is awesome you can live off them

    your scarcasm and wit make me laugh every day


  • http://battybeyond.wordpress.com battybeyond

    I’m sorry. That’s just the best hatemail ever. Who actually SENDS hatemail?? I mean… I know no one really cares about my opinion, especially if I DONT LIKE something. It’s like.. geeze, there’re all kinds of blogs that I stop reading, or wont read to begin with, because they cease being fun. But I know the author doesn’t CARE. They’re doing what they do because it’s right or good for them and they need to get something off their chests. That includes 13 yr olds who only type in lettrz & #’s & :) faces and people with political opinions that differ from my own. Trust me, I don’t read this site because of the political or religious opinions are so like my own lol. Right now you’re all sitting there not caring about how I dont care LOL. For God sakes… just close the freaking browser. Or click on google and go find a blog you DO want to read. Or better yet… open up your own blog and bitch about someone elses’ blog in an entry that a bunch of people dont want to read. That’s the nature of the beast. Do you think your opinions are so important? Is someone supposed to change their blog because you stopped liking it, or agreeing with it?? Geeze. That’s like expecting Harrison Ford to shave off his crazy Sadam Hussein beard just because he looks like a crazy old man with it on, and you find that to be offensive. Harrison ford is just about as likely to cave into your shaving the crazy old guy beard as a blogger is to cave into your demand to make their blog look more like YOUR blog.

    …I hate self-important people :)

    < / rant>

  • http://www.lisamulvey.com Lisa

    Wow, some people need to really get a life of their own don’t they. I more astounded that you actually read the hundreds of comments and e-mails you get.

    Since you must be rolling in the dough from all the ads by now, maybe you can hire someone to read them and sort through them for you, then you can just read the really amusing ones!

  • http://irritableblogsyndrome.typepad.com Dayna Lee

    “Dooce meanies” (from comment 102) is another fine phrase to add to the Urban Dictionary. We could all have a field day posting definitions to it. Jealousy is such an ugly color on people.

  • NixMom

    Wait, wait, wait…I was never told of a trap door to Hell. I was told that I would be either be
    A) driving the bus
    B) handing out ice water and handbaskets.

    The lack of communication around this place sucks and I for one, am not going to stand it any longer!

    Kidding of course, love the site Dooce. All those emails prove, ya gotta have the bottom of the barrel so you can have the top…


  • Jenn


    I just have to tell you that I look forward every day to reading your website. You are such an awesome, inspiring person and to be honest (but hopefully not creepy) you are my idol.

    I especially appreciate your posts regarding your depression, because I myself have battled it and it’s so powerful to see someone be able to truly express what it’s like. I really admire your courage and your strength.

    Anyway, YOU ARE AWESOME and no nasty e-mail or comment from any idiot can take that away from you. I wish you and your family all the best.

    (P.S. I currently take a cardioboxing class to relieve my stress but if you want, I would be happy to do it by kicking the crap out of any Dooce haters out there!!)

  • Meredith Seiverd

    I think it is funny that some people seem to feel “forced” to be here and read the blog. They don’t seem to understand that this is YOUR website and not theirs. Dog forbid that someone not like what you have to say. Here are some simple tips for people that can’t seem to stop reading even though they are offended:

    1. If you are glued to your seat and don’t know what to do about being oversensitive to web content, look down at your keyboard and press that key with the apple on it and the W at the same time… or control + W (if that is the PC way) then stand up, and walk away.

    2. I hear that getting a sense of humor is pretty easy these days with all the places to shop online. Always try to find an auction that offers free shipping, use Buy-it-now, and make sure the use the whole thing when it gets to your house. Don’t want any to go to waste, do we?

    There, isn’t that better?

  • staceymay

    I too am a card carrying Mormon who reads your site daily. I don’t always agree with what you say, and sometimes I find it offensive, but that happens when I turn on the TV too. So what? Your site has brought a smile to me on more than one occasion, and I have even gotten strange looks at work for bursting out laughing. I’ve even recommended your site for others to enjoy. My name’s Stacey, and I’m a dooce-a-holic.

  • tanyetta

    Wow! You’ve got some serious ‘fans’ Heather. When I first read your post, I got nervous and thought you were going to post my email (from this weekend) begging you to visit my blog! I was relieved and also saddened that neither has happened so far. LOL. Hope it gets better before it gets worse. Have a great week.

  • smoness

    Do people just not understand good sarcasm any more?? Your site brings a ray of sunshine down on my computer every day. You f-ing rock the camel’s hump, Heather. Don’t change a damned thing!

  • AngieC

    BAAAHHH! I’m so sweaty. BAAAAHHH!

  • http://www.internalmonoblog.typepad.com/ Sandra Heikkinen

    Wow. How incredible that so many people took the time to write supportive, positive comments. I’d say that says so much more than the negative ones (although those were hilarious). For god’s sake, it’s not like anyone is forcing any of these people to read your blog, or like you’re about to hijack a jet and take them all to the party island. I kind of wish someone was offended by me!

  • http://ohbladioblahblog.com/ Sharon Faulk

    Wow! Being popular kind of sucks. I would have shut the blog down by the tird email.

    Well done!

  • Poopville

    I wish I could think of mean things to write so I could become infamous on your website but alas, I cannot. I don’t like to say/write mean things, I just poop them out; I’d like to poop on these stupid, waste-of-air-have-nothing-better-to-do-than-contribute-nothing-to-society morons. Wait, was that mean?

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/sparkgrrl658 stephanie

    the stuff that really gets me is the “i hate the design of your blog” shit. dudes, go get a life and stop trolling dooce and go hate on those people that have pimped out their myspace with so much glittery blinking text and embedded mp3s to the point it freezes your browser.

    as for the ads, it’s not like you have those flashy “SHOOT THE TARGET AND WIN” banners popping up on the page or in the middle of entries, or even between entries. can’t find the entries because you’re “wading through all the ads”? then you must be fucking blind because it’s right there. in the middle. the biggest column. with the text in it. that runs down the entire page. under the masthead. the daily photo. is there. at the top. right at the top. in the middle. of the page.


  • Mistress Erin

    Does anyone know how to book a vacation to FagLesbian Island? I have packed my lube and whipped cream and I am ready to GO!

    I love you Heather! (exclamation point, exclamation point)

  • Ro

    I stumbled upon your blog about a month ago ad I absolutely LOVE IT. I don’t know what it looked like before or even hat “before’ consisted of. All I know is that I find your words to be insightful and really funny. Those people that leave those hateful and sometimes contradicting comments are those people who are lonely, sad and terribly unhappy.
    And you think you’re depressed. 
    I enjoy reading about you and your hubby and Leta, and although I have no children just yet (I have 3 nephews) I understand that in order to stay completely sane you must find the beautiful silver lining in all things.
    You’re great!!!!

    Keep it up…..And don’t worry about the haters you could be giving away money and they would still be around…
    Maybe the mail would read something like this

    “Heather how could you? I can’t believe you are just giving strangers all of your money? You are so stupid! There are plenty of ways that you could invest your money!!!!!!!! You can have It all for yourself and even put some up for that poor defenseless child Leta! I’m so ashamed of you!! I’m never reading your blog again (unless you send me some)!!!!!!!!”

  • http://www.jenredstar.com Jennifer

    Hi Heather,

    Holy christ on a stick that was amusing!

    What I wonder is, do you actually read all
    of the email you get? I mean, even finding
    this hatemail must take HOURS. How do you
    find the time?
    I wonder if you’d ever hire an assistant
    to help you sort it all into categories…


  • http://www.jbjones.blogspot.com Mrs Ca

    I think it’s funny how much people despise change, even when it’s something that is so totally beyond their control. Yes, your content is different than what it was in the beginning of this site, but your life is different. Why shouldn’t your writing change as you do?

    People who worry about what you write or how you live your life obviously have too much time on their hands. Who are they to judge?

    I enjoy your writing and (especially) your pictures and continue to be a loyal reader.

  • SarahJanesmomSue

    Okay – that cracked me up. People KILL me, exclamation point. It seems to me in fact, that you have a remarkable ability to show how fun and crazy everyday life can be. It is good to be reminded of that. As for Leta, I think she has a great mom who is clearly smart, very funny and not afraid to be flawed. You go girl!

  • R


    You, your stories, your family, and your pictures…MY GOD THE PICTURES…are all wonderful.

    I look forward to reading your stuff daily.

    All the haters can just Bugger Off!

  • http://www.cheechoo.net/ cheechoo

    Well, I think the site’s never been better (exclamation point) And hey, would it be possible for my son Cameron to get a date with Leta when he’s old enough? In, say, 50 years or so?

  • http://xyzlisaslife.blogspot.com/ lisa ann

    People need to seriously fucker off and get a life (insert several exclamation points here). I love how they tell you what you should post and not post. Um hello? It’s your blog. Dooce-haters, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Maybe that should be your new tagline.

  • http://www.dorky.typepad.com Dorkette

    Wow, what BALLS it takes for these people to send you hateful emails. I mean, to stand up and make such PIERCING comments while hiding (most likely) behind some phony name and the protection of an email address created specifically for hatin’.

    Kinda like a kid that takes a crap in the corner… they think it’s freaking hilarious, but everyone else just smells shit.

  • Marieke

    “I Hate Dooce” club? For reals? This woman is totally obsessed with you. But I don’t blame her….cuz you rock!

  • http://www.makingfoodeatingfood.blogspot.com/ iamchanelle

    heather, you ROCK. you say it as it is, as you see it, and i find that refreshing!!!

    and if people don’t like what you have to say…QUIT READING IT ALREADY AND SHUT UP!

    exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point….

  • Bridget

    I actually signed up to an account with typepad just to leave this comment.

    Obviously those who left those ridiculous comments are completely close minded. Last fall I was completing an assignment about blogging for a graduate class I was taking; and that is when I came across your site. Since that day I have religiously checked for new postings each day. I absolutely adore your style of writing. With all of the stresses I have going trying to finish school and working (and finding time for happy hours), I always know that you can make me laugh out loud with your quirky style of writing. You brighten up my day when I read your postings, and from the 400+ comments above mine, obviously others as well. So ultimately, these “dooce-bags” with the case of the nasties really need to try taking their spare time elsewhere, or maybe writing a blog of their own — which would probably never get the positive attention that yours gets. Keep up the fabulous work!

  • http://lifeandtimesofchantel.blogspot.com Chantel

    I don’t mind the ads. I’ve actually clicked on some because I might have been interested in the pandering. Isn’t that what they’re for. I love people who go off on those who supposedly “sell out”; you know they would jump at the chance to do the same thing if they could. So much for the American Dream really existing.

    I love your site and your monthly letters to Leta make me cry sometimes. I feel the same way about my children and I’m bluntly honest with myself and my abilities as a mother and sometimes motherhood is gross comedy.

    If you’re going to hell; I’ll hold the trap door to hell open for you if you want to do a back flip through the doorway?

  • CrazyHoosierGal

    I love you, Heather [exclamation point, exclamation point] I want to have, like, 10,000 of your babies [exclamation point, exclamation point] Let’s run away to the Island of FagLesbian, drink tequila, and further offend rabid Mormans [exclamation point, exclamation point]

  • http://trancejen.diaryland.com TranceJen

    Too funny! Do you notice that hate mailers ALWAYS seem to have spelling/punctuation problems? I wonder why that is…

  • http://jimbrodhead.typepad.com/ Jim Brodhead

    If they are shooting at you, you must be doing something right!

  • Dennis

    Well? Is Shannon hot, or what? GEORGE! isn’t the only one who wants to know.

  • keagansmom

    Heather, wouldn’t it be a great to invent a program that could filter out all the hate mail and automatically send it to George W.? Seriously, I wanted you to know that you make me laugh out loud EVERY SINGLE DAY, so much so that my own hunk of yummy man goodness (Jon IS VERY CUTE,btw) will ask me what the hell I am reading that is making me laugh so hard that I have tears in my eyes. You are also one of the prettiest women I have ever seen, and if I was gay I would totally do you (if you would have me, that is). Leta is beautiful and sweet (sometimes!) and her own little person, and I personally wouldn’t want anything less for your child(ren), or mine for that matter. No parent is perfect, I closed my daughter’s neck in the car window for Christ’s sake!!! Talk about guilt! Anyway, all these miserable fucks can take it up the ass sideways. If they don’t like ya, they don’t have to read ya. I hope you don’t let them ever get you down, because you seriously totally fuckin rock. Dooce forever!!!!! LOVE YOU!!!! Sign me: the wicked fuckin bitch of the East.

  • Erin MJ

    Hi Heather!
    I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I don’t care if you have ads, and how entertaining it is to hear you make fun of your hate mail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! =D

    Also, “Good Bitch of the North” is possibly one of the best phrases ever conceived. I don’t know if you made it up, but it made me laugh out loud all the same.

    I hope this helps to increase your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. ;)

  • http://alissaclare.typepad.com/the_exciting_life_of_acs/ Alissa Szarek

    At least they make us laugh? I was so excited when you opened up your comments again. A friend had explained to me why you shut them off, that you were getting really mean comments etc… and after you posted about Leta’s sleeping patterns I understood why! I am in awe of people who are so perfect. Thanks for putting yourself out there everyday. It is truly one of the high points of my day.

    PS: Leta constantly makes my ovaries burst. She is beautiful.

  • Luka

    There’s no way someone is going to read the 489th response to this note but just in case you do Heather, you have the thickest skin of anyone I’ve heard of. I probably would close up shop if I got that kind of hate mail and I think that proves just how with it you actually are.

    Also, I always ponder this. Someone was upset because Jon had ads for progressive causes? Why is it that only us liberals are about acceptance regardless of gender, race, religion, etc. when the conservatives wave the flag of Christianity as if it is solely theirs and they own all of its virtues. Hate is not a virtue people.

  • sally

    Dear Heather,
    I love you more than I can express! Every day I visit your blog and laugh out loud in my silent dorm room where my studying roommate looks at me with irritation. I am only a college freshman, but despite all these people who insist that your parenting is “immature,” you’ve given me hope and and are one of the few instances where parenting seems like a plausible road. I felt like all adults became boring, snobby, and self-righteous after having children, but you (and Jon!) have proved me wrong. It is so refreshing to see parents who managed to maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR! And what is the problem in selling out? I don’t know where so many people get the impression that you’re some sort of superhuman who can support your family without an income! So what if there are ads? All the amazing content is still there. You need that money to pamper that kid of yours that you love so much. Plus, I think you’re beautiful and although I enjoy the idea of someone who LOOKS like sweaty goat balls, you, unfortunately, just do not qualify. You really are in inspiration, Heather, and I think all these naysayers should get a life and stop ragging someone as original and clever as you.

  • http://www.trevandkat.com trevordlb

    Oh, PLEASE tell us the e-mail addresses…

  • http://www.livejournal.com/~returnofthejeni Jeni

    Not to reward bad behavior, but maybe you could create a Razzies type award for the hate mail. Like Dooce’s Sweaty Goat Ball Award for most hysterically offensive email. It’d be a hard choice if this is just the mail you’ve got recently, but c’mon sweaty goat balls – what hate mailer doesn’t need some of that love?

    Love the site, Heather. And as a side note, your entry the other day about how you sit at your computer and hit refresh, refresh, refresh at sites you enjoy – that is me at dooce.com.