• Moon

    Heather, I hope you’re able to blow off at least some of the hate mail you get and not get too worked up over it. These people obviously have nothing better to do than to send ludicrous comments. Perhaps their time would be better spent getting their own lives rather than trying to tell you how to run yours.

    I love your site and have been an avid viewer since I discovered it (I’m ashamed to say just a few months ago). I probably shouldn’t say this but the ads don’t bother me because, frankly, I just don’t look at them.

    Leta is close to the same age as one of my girls and I’m very often amused because they seem to mimic each other’s behavior a lot and it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one sometimes that can perfectly understand why some animals eat their young. It’s very obvious to me that your little girl means the world to you and your husband. Your monthly letters to her are precious and they often remind me to go update my own journals I keep for our girls.

    Here’s wishing you all the best and keep up the wonderful work!

  • http://www.k-robb.com karen

    I don’t really understand this. Why, when people don’t like something on a website, do they feel the need to send hate mail? It’s called a personal website for a reason. Just don’t read it anymore. I find it hilarious that people think they’re being superior when they don’t like someone’s writing so they email them and say shit about their children. Nice.

  • papercut

    Go buy http://www.ihatedooce.com and redirect that fucker to a beastiality site – ie; http://www.SuppressedSquirrelSex.com or something like that.

    Make sure it’s an affiliate account though – you just might have the right traffic for that niche!

  • theburninator

    OMG YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN THE I HATE DOOCE CLUB. We all get together to eat multivitamins, lust after Bob Costas, and order Prada online!

  • http://www.martinbreton.com BREM experience

    This is by far the best post you’ve done in ages!

    We want more!

    I want more.

    You rule, Heather. Do you know that?

    You fucking rule.

  • Michelle

    Ummm. I think Mindy was being ironic??? maybe??

    Otherwise, Fuck ‘em all. Idiots, the lot of them.

  • http://charlotte.filanowicz.com/blog/charlotteblog.html CharlotteMelissa

    My two cents, in case you need a little more encouragement today…
    Your site is hilarious, I enjoy visiting it every day.
    I applaud your courage, creativity, and fabulous talent.
    Your family is beautiful.

    I cannot believe the negativity of people. No one is forcing them to read your site. It blows me away.
    I felt for you as I was reading them, and admire your ability to take them in stride…with humor even.

    Best of luck, and keep on keepin on!

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    heather, i want to encourage hate mail just because it’s the funniest stuff i have seen today. spread the hate!


    i really need to get some trolls for my site.

  • katrkief

    wow, no time to read the ten trillion comments. Just to say that the photo you published today was beautiful, and to request that PLEASE please please publish more of those letters – say a once a week feature? It is terrible that you get them, but great that we get to enjoy reading the idiocy! :)

  • http://alli-lou.livejournal.com starchitect

    How dare you and Jon post your PERSONAL opinions on your PERSONAL websites!!!

    What nerve!!!!

    Seriously, are these people just now realizing your views on politics, religion, etc?!?!

  • Taegan7879

    Is the FagLesbian Island stop BEFORE or AFTER the Gates of Hell? Cause, I’m gonna need to pack extra clothes….

    Dont let them get you down Sarah..er.. Heather! :D You Rock. I’m moving to Utah in 6 months… wanna set our kids up on a playdate :D My 2 year old son is way hot.. for a 2 year old.

  • julie

    Expect, expect expect

  • http://whingingit.com Whinger

    I love to hate the haters, but I must grudgingly acknowledge that they have some of the most fantastic opportunities for imagery out there. I could barely get beyond my mental picture of the Island FagLesbian (tastefully decorated with lots of power tools) to read the rest of the emails.

    People rock. Even when they’re lame.

  • http://bigdlittledmistatruffyandme.blogspot.com Karen Rani

    Wow. Jealous much? What a bunch of losers! Keep on keepin’ on Armstrongs – a lot of people would love to be in your shoes so you must be doing something right! Clearly it easy for some people to be mean over the internet. They forget there are real people with feelings on the other end of their toxic words.

  • julie

    Expect, expect, expect…

  • shonad

    I am never usually one to leave comments on people’s sites, I the silent reader of the web!

    But in this case i had to, OH MY GOD! What are those people all about????

    If you don’t like it, don’t read it!

    It’s as if they expect everyone in the world to have the same opinions as they do, what a very dull world that would be!

    Heather, you are an internet jem!

    Jon, you are one hot sexy man!

    Leta, you make me want to have babies cos hopefully they will be as cute and as full of life and personality as you are!

    And Chuck, will you come live with me?

  • http://www.janetutech.com jae

    Isn’t vanity and self-indulgence the whole point of personal websites and blogs? If you’re going to do it, at least do it well!

  • ziggygirl

    So often I watch the news (okay, not SO often, but whatever, the news is bad for my sanity) and someone’s saying something idiotic, close-minded, hateful and ridiculous to the camera. And when this someone is not, say, the President, I always wonder, who ARE these people? Thank you for giving them names. The upside of blogs is ultimately the downside, as well: being able to correspond semi-anonymously allows the cowards of the world to say horrible things that they would never dare say to an actual in-your-face person and then sit back and feel smug and self-satisfied about it, even as their hatred ROTS THEM SLOWLY FROM THE INSIDE OUT (as you can see, I favor all caps over the exclamation point when adding emphasis). Seriously: think about an adult leaning down to say to a (precious) child, “I don’t think you’re very pretty.” Wow, good job, Asshole-Elmo. Maybe Leta could change your diaper and you’d feel better? I have to tell myself: there are only one hundred or so of these people in the country, but it SEEMS like there are more of them because they are always the ones talking. And, apparently, voting. Maybe writing you hate mail will distract them from the voting part….

  • http://www.sparkliesunshine.net Angela

    Wow. It’s really awful that people think they are entitled to say shit like that to you. I love that you are able to handle it so well and still laugh about it. I think your site and everything you say is absolutely awesome. Furthermore even if I disagree with something you say I’m still happy with you because I love how honestly you write and I admire you for it. Why are people so afraid of what is different?

    Well you are completely awesome Dooce. I appreciate you and your site.

    P.S. The Island of FagLesbian sounds fantastic! I feel the mothership calling me home.

  • mm

    Hi Heather. I just wanted to let you know that 1) YOU ROCK! Don’t listen to those crazy people. I guess there are a lot of people who need to find some innocent blogger to dump their shit on, it makes them feel better about themselves; and 2) I have been reading your site for well over a year. To tell you the truth, I don’t even notice the ads. Why are people making such a big deal out of them?

    Anyway, I hope you don’t let the haters get you down. Most of us appreciate your view of the world, and appreciate the laugh. (Get it people….you can laugh at stuff, you’ll be o.k.)

  • goodchickens

    You know, reading your answers to the emails made me thinkkk “How fun would it be if you periodically did a a “Dear Dooce” column on your site.

  • http://alli-lou.livejournal.com starchitect

    How dare you and Jon post your PERSONAL opinions on your PERSONAL websites!!!

    What nerve!!!!

    Seriously, are these people just now realizing your views on politics, religion, etc?!?!

  • SarahJanesmomSue

    Okay – that cracked me up. People KILL me, exclamation point. It seems to me in fact, that you have a remarkable ability to show how fun and crazy everyday life can be. It is good to be reminded of that. As for Leta, I think she has a great mom who is clearly smart, very funny and not afraid to be flawed. You go girl!

  • KellyB

    Do people suck or what? I think your grammar is just loverly, by the way.

  • ThreeBees

    Oh yeah. Self-righteous people are totally hot.

  • http://spaces.msn.com/members/beachgalshideaway Beachgal

    I love the people that complain about the ads. Yeah, i noticed they started up, but you know what? It’s NOT that hard to ignore them. I do it quite easily. Do I know that they are they, of course, but it does not affect my experience of reading Dooce.

    Long time reader here, no complaints. If people don’t like your site/content/whatever, they need to just go away.


  • Sasquatch

    HI Heather:

    I adore you. I’ll send you sweet nothings more often so that the hate will be insignificant.

    As for the girl who’s family member wrote that book… Laughing at eachother is what family does to show love. If you had laughed at him sooner, he wouldn’t have published it and been publicly mocked. Please. Protect your family in the future

  • Erin MJ

    Hi Heather!
    I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I don’t care if you have ads, and how entertaining it is to hear you make fun of your hate mail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! =D

    Also, “Good Bitch of the North” is possibly one of the best phrases ever conceived. I don’t know if you made it up, but it made me laugh out loud all the same.

    I hope this helps to increase your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. ;)

  • nicolelise

    I work for a Congressman, and people call the office and talk the worst shit about him all day long–some days it makes me cry and it isn’t even about me! I can’t imagine what it would be like to handle personal attacks. I love the way you’ve handled these emails, I don’t know how you manage to do so with such humor and grace. It reminds me of why I like this website so much. Not to mention Jon’s- (maybe because of all that liberal propaganda?) In fact, I had a dream I was at a Swim Herschel Swim concert last night. I woke up so embarassed that I couldn’t even look him in the eye in your daily photo.

  • julie

    Damn typos.

  • Monika

    Hi Heather

    Okay, I’ve been reading your blog for about 3 years. Now, you’ve grown, and gotten married, and had a dog, and a child, dealt with home problems (kitchen debacle, etc.) and many other things. What happens is that some of your readers don’t grow. They are the people who still walk around with mullets and wear jeans with the elastic waistebands. That’s what I’ve gotten from those hateful emails. They want you to stay the same. Always.


    She’s got the same sense of humour, if you put on mental block on the swearing and flipping the bird, and only recently realized that she DOES post some swearing and flips you the bird, if your own fault for being BLIND.

    Heather, some people have sad, sad lives, they think they even MATTER by bringing you down. They forget that they don’t matter, and try to fill up the void by being assholes. I love you and your family, and 98% of us (your readers) love you.

    The haters? They can shove their emails up their hairy asses.

    Oh, and a side note to Walter G, are you homophobic? Cause it seems like to you, being gay is an insult. Let me tell you that you are an ASSHOLE.

    Thanks =)

  • bookworm

    Here’s a novel idea: If you don’t like the blog, don’t read it!!! Now why didn’t I think of that? I can’t remember the last blog I read that didn’t have ads on it, so why that’s an issue I have no idea.

    If people get this hateful over a difference of opinion on a blog, how do they cope with a difference of opinion in real life?

    I wonder what the haters think about the people who send videos into those funniest videos shows – I’ve seen much worse than christmas lights draped over Chuck. (Is lead absorbed thru the skin? I thought you had to eat it.)

    Anyway, I think your blog is wonderful. You’ve made me laugh and cry, and I really have to stop reading it at work before my boss figures out what I’m doing back here!

    PS: Is Jon going to grow back the beard? That was sexy.

  • meganner

    You were just fishing for complimets when you put those up…I~m on to you.
    Well consider me hooked. I love dooce. Keep up the good work!

  • http://whingingit.com Whinger

    I love to hate the haters, but I must grudgingly acknowledge that they have some of the most fantastic opportunities for imagery out there. I could barely get beyond my mental picture of the Island FagLesbian (tastefully decorated with lots of power tools) to read the rest of the emails.

    People rock. Even when they’re lame.

  • http://www.butterflychic26.blogspot.com bored_in_kansas

    PFFFTTTT!!!!! I hate small minded a–holes…PPFFTTT!!!! All I have to say is if you don’t like don’t read it. Same thing as if you don’t like don’t watch it. PFFTTT!!!!! I love love love LOVE LVOE…by the way did i mention I LOVE your website? Man if i don’t get my daily Dooce dose then I’m not capable of functioning for the rest of the day!!! Keep up the good work!!! and to the others in those emails PFFTTT!!!! Go crawl back into your little hole where you call your life, and shut the HELL UP!!!

  • dag_mar

    Oh, dooce! Where do I begin? I’m a long-time reader, first-time commenter, and I must tell you, I love this site. You consistently make me laugh out loud (in a good way). You and your family are beautiful. Don’t ever stop.

  • LadySaffire

    Ya know…there are just a lot of cranky people in our world. I love this site…and visit it VERY often. I love your view on things…your attitude…your sense of humor…and the pics. I’m a fan for life.

    And to those that have an issue with Dooce…may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch. Wait…that’s not very fair to the fleas…

  • yogurtweaver


    Sorry, just recovering from a momentary lapse of composure. Thank you for sharing the wonder that is ikissyou.org – Heather, you’ve well and truly made my day!

  • julie

    Lesbian? Honey, I’m a lesbian and I’ve got the distinct impression that you like sex with your husband way too much for that moron … uh guy…to be putting you up to bat for my team. Anyway I just wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed your writing more of late. Actually, I think it’s shown signs of growth when compared to that which some of these haters seem to prefer. Seems to me you’ve grown up some.(Which of course is to be exspected as most of us don’t stay immature and 20 something forever Thank God. Well, at least about the immature part.) Just some feedback from another southern grrl.

  • http://misspriss.org becky

    i don’t know how to quit you!

    will you run away to Island of FagLesbian with me? and have lots of babies and raise them to be FagLesbians too? *snort*

    i think the entertainment value would cause you to look for MORE things to write so you can get MORE hate mail. woo!

    (yeah, i’m one of those no caps people.)

  • Shelley Bonnechance

    Oh, Heather….

    Some people really suck. Can you imagine being so filled with hate that you had to let it pour out onto a blogger so that your evil head wouldn’t explode?

    I used to write a column for the local newspaper – nothing exciting, served a rural midwestern county with a total population of about 20,000 people, only about six of whom actually subscribed – and once after I wrote a column expressing concern for the high incidence of teen pregnancy in our county, someone came to my house and left a letter in my mailbox that spewed all kinds of written vomit, including the hope that both of my daughters would get pregnant at age 12.

    The sad thing is that the person obviously knew me.

    And, of course, it was unsigned.

    I burned it out in the backyard. At first I thought I’d be able to do that just with the furious glare from my eyeballs, but it turned out that I needed an Aim-n-Flame.

    I don’t know why people would get so unhinged about ads. And your writing is not self-indulgent. Basically, you have the exact same life as all the rest of us Shit Ass Ho Motherfuckers.

    I think you’re great.

  • The Bold Soul

    I didn’t have time to read through all 385+ comments before posting my own so forgive me if what I’m about to say is a bit redundant… but clearly for every criticisim you’re getting you’ve got about 50 other people in your corner!

    It astonishes me how friggin’ much free time people must have on their hands, if they can take the time to email you with complaints about what font you’re using, the colors in your masthead designs, and whether or not you write about constipation. For those critics that think you should do something more constructive with YOUR time, I’d throw that right back at ‘em: stop criticizing what Heather or anyone writes in their personal blogs (the key word being “personal”) and go out and do something constructive with your own time. Blogs are like television: if you don’t like what you’re seeing, it only takes one click to change the channel.

    People who have nothing else to do but heap criticism on someone else for expressing an opinion or sharing their perspective on something (last time I looked, we still had free speech in this country) clearly need what you advised the first critic on your list to get: an enema. Preferably with ice cold water.

    From where I sit at my desk in New Jersey, as a 40+ single woman who loves children but is not planning to have any, my daily life is about as different from yours as it can get — and yet I consistently find your take on life to be delightfully honest, refreshing, poignant and most days, utterly hysterical. You’re a gifted writer and a kick-ass photographer, too, and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. Are all your posts going to be Pulitzer material? Of course not… every writer’s entitled to an off day. I see your blog, like I see my own, as a tool for self-expression and creativity, something that will evolve over time. So if what you’re writing about today has changed from what you wrote about a year or two or three ago, isn’t that perfectly fine? I’ve been reading Dooce.com for about a year and I see the evolution taking place in your life because it comes through in your writing. What’s wrong with that?

    And as far as dealing with criticism from strangers… I guess you can chalk it up to the price of fame and notoriety. Imagine what someone like Oprah has to put up with, her picture on every tabloid rag that’s out there, and deadbeat relatives and others always with their hands out asking for money. The more you are willing to put yourself out there in the world, the more others will have something to say about you, good or bad. But what’s the alternative — not being who you are? Nobody really wins by you censoring yourself to please others — especially these cranky, sex-starved, relgious zealots and crazed psychos.

    Next time you are feeling unsure about pressing the send button, remember this quote from Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    Keep shining, Heather!

  • Ro

    I stumbled upon your blog about a month ago ad I absolutely LOVE IT. I don’t know what it looked like before or even hat “before’ consisted of. All I know is that I find your words to be insightful and really funny. Those people that leave those hateful and sometimes contradicting comments are those people who are lonely, sad and terribly unhappy.
    And you think you’re depressed. 
    I enjoy reading about you and your hubby and Leta, and although I have no children just yet (I have 3 nephews) I understand that in order to stay completely sane you must find the beautiful silver lining in all things.
    You’re great!!!!

    Keep it up…..And don’t worry about the haters you could be giving away money and they would still be around…
    Maybe the mail would read something like this

    “Heather how could you? I can’t believe you are just giving strangers all of your money? You are so stupid! There are plenty of ways that you could invest your money!!!!!!!! You can have It all for yourself and even put some up for that poor defenseless child Leta! I’m so ashamed of you!! I’m never reading your blog again (unless you send me some)!!!!!!!!”

  • http://deafmomworld.blogspot.com deafmomworld

    Hmmm…. Hmmm…. Mary S must have missed the monthly letter you write to Leta. Those pictures you post of Leta speaks a thousand or even a million words. The pictures show that you love Leta and are a good mother. Dooce, I find your website funny and inspiring. Those who sent you hate mail need to take a step back and get a 2nd look at life. Nothing is perfect and that you have absolutely every right to say what you want to say.

    Keep up the good scarcasm!!!! (exclamation point extraorniare!)

  • http://culottefolle.wordpress.com Culotte Folle

    I just want to say that I’m really proud that you’re using your website for good, and not evil. You are now the Chuck Woolry of the World Wide Web, all caps.

    I think that Jeff S. and Mary B. are going to live a long, happy life together. I’m crossing my fingers that they register for a Cuisinart Grind and Brew, because I happen to have an unopened box sitting in my guest room!!!

    It really warms my cold, black, shriveled little dooce-loving heart to see two crazy kids in love like that.

    Keep up the good work, Dooce.

  • dithers

    Thank you so much for sharing those 5 words from GEORGE!

  • EvatheK

    I read your site every day. So do the other moms in my mother’s club. We think you are great. If the idiots that send you hate mail don’t like it, tell them to stuff it.


  • http://culottefolle.wordpress.com Culotte Folle

    I just want to say that I’m really proud that you’re using your website for good, and not evil. You are now the Chuck Woolry of the World Wide Web, all caps.

    I think that Jeff S. and Mary B. are going to live a long, happy life together. I’m crossing my fingers that they register for a Cuisinart Grind and Brew, because I happen to have an unopened box sitting in my guest room!!!

    It really warms my cold, black, shriveled little dooce-loving heart to see two crazy kids in love like that.

    Keep up the good work, Dooce.

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    That was hilarious!
    The more popular a person is, the more haters they get. That seems to be a fact. Most folks are jealous because THEY aren’t able to live off of their websites. I say, lucky you!!
    If you ever feel down about it, shoot me an email and I’ll tell you all the things I love about you and your site…no charge! ;-)

  • jenrab


    I just wanted to chime in to say that the throngs of people that admire and appreciate your words, far outweigh all of those hatemail-sending schleps.

    In fact, you’re a popular topic on one of my message boards. You and the life you lead strike a chord for so many of us. One of my friends posted about a woman who met you in Austin. After meeting you she said:

    “There are so many women in my generation who are trying to create a unique existence separate from the ones we were raised with…”

    I have to ditto that sentiment.
    I can’t even begin to describe how much Dooce and the whole Armstrong family inspires me. Once upon a time, when nothing mattered and writing was all I cared about, j-school teachers threw below average grades at me and said things like, I wasn’t good enough to pursue what I wanted. Your whole mantra speaks to me, and emphasizes that need to conquer the past and to champion the future, even if it means to “aim low.”

    You and your family relationships are such a parallel to how I appreciate each and every dysfunctional nuance of my own family.

    So, thank you for being so kick ass.

    Oh, and when you DO leave for FagLesbian, sign me up! …and I hope we can wear shirts like these http://tinyurl.com/lzuov