• http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com Nils Ling

    When my daughter was young, she had a rhyme one of her (obviously) male cousins had taught her, going like “Bang bang, you’re dead, fifty bullets in your head”, then “Bang bang, you’re dumb, 50 bullets in your bum”. Didn’t she save up till my grandmother came over before trotting out “Bang, bang, you’re from Regina …”

  • bee

    cracking me up….

  • cora

    My favorite nickname for a vagine in Vuh-Jay-Jay. My teacher friend learned it from a sixth grader.

  • http://www.poopandboogies.com William

    Bucky 4 eyes will be thrilled. And for some reason a “Ball Breaking Bunky” sounds like it could hurt.

  • http://bucky4eyes.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    So, I’m a vagina now, am I?

    I could make a very, very inappropriate comment about “you are what you eat” but I think I’ll just keep my bunky shut right now.

  • http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com Nils Ling

    Bucky’s bunky is shut? Wow. Anybody else feel the gravitational disturbance?

  • http://knockonthat.com Bess

    Isn’t it funny how you can call your bits just about anything and it seems to work? I like bunky — it’s cute but not over-the-top-cute. I also like Supreme Chancellor.

  • Jenn

    Word of advice from a sage mom who is a whole month ahead of you in the potty training process (please note sarcasm)ditch the trainer potty ASAP and go straight to the “big girl potty” – cleaning the “recliner” sux sweaty goat balls. We have the same portable potty and that little handy cup inside just screams “2 year old, pick me up and DUMP ME ON THE FLOOR, but wait…not until I’m full of pee pee.”

  • http://eurekablyth.com Bekah

    Great post, but where in the world did you get “bunky” from? That’s not even closely related to word “vagina”! At least “Snuffleupagus” makes sense (it creates quite a visual, too).

  • Steph And The City

    Supreme Chancellor Palpatine – that’s the best!

    My mom tried to teach us correct names for parts but my sister couldn’t say vagina and called it “China” instead. We still can’t talk about China – whether country or teacups – without giggling. So I would say good call on “bunky.”

    Good luck with all your potty adventures!

  • ktjane

    very cute! did leta get a haircut?

  • http://www.poopandboogies.com William

    Of course “Snuffleupagus” leads me to ask is Jon that Hairy?

  • http://claudia.hidden-identity.net Claudia

    My nephew LOVED his potty seat when he was learning. He would watch TV in it, sleep near it, and is now very excited to show his little brother just what you do with a potty. There are several photos of him sitting wearing nothing but a t-shirt and too large of cowboy boots while watching Thomas the Tank Engine. And he’s rather odd – he likes calling his boy-parts his “penis”. ;)

  • http://www.misszoot.com Z

    A friend of mine’s daughter also used the potty as a chair, so much so that when they decided to actively potty-train her, they had to buy another one because she didnt want to go potty in her chair.

  • http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com Nils Ling

    William is curious about things many of us would rather not know. My guess is that it’s called Snuffleupagus because it’s alleged to be very large but nobody has really atually seen it.

  • http://www.vaguelyurban.com Vaguely Urban

    It’s great that you’re demystifying the whole potty-training process.

    Or should I say, de-bunking the myths about potty-training?

  • http://islaygirl.typepad.com islaygirl

    we’ve just finished this part, and i laughed out loud at “Potty Butler.” So true. We call the private parts “bits.” As in, don’t scratch, you’ll hurt your bits. (when it appears she’s digging to China). Or, if you don’t wipe properly, your bits will get a rash and be itchy (see previous). Good luck with the pottying. The freedom you’ll have when it’s all done! The extra $25 you’ll save on costco runs!

  • Tommy from Michigan

    We did the potty train in 24 hours method. Sort of like a Marine corp. drill with gallons of juice and Koolaid and lots of urine. Worked great. Our kids are teens now and the experience has had no obvious negative effects. You teach the child to enjoy being dry.

  • http://squirl1.blogspot.com Squirl

    As Bucky’s sister I’m not really sure whether I should be proud or what…

  • ukdave

    I opted to potty train our daughter. On day 1 of the exercise Erin wee’d on the floor 18 times.

    My prayers are with you and your family, and your floorboards and carpet.

  • Ter

    I have not laughed this hard in many moons.

    O.k., so the post before this one was beautiful & moving & made me tingle with joy & love for motherhood & children. . .

    And THIS post cracked me up enough to go back & reread my favorite parts. Bunky parts, Chancellor Palpatine parts & all.

    How awesome is that?

  • http://www.goodapple.blogspot.com goodapple

    I taught my son to use the biological terms for all the parts because that’s how I was raised. There was a newspaper article about a young girl who was molested and the molester was not convicted because she could only say he touched her “smile”.

    I’ve only potty trained a boy… I hear girls are harder though.

  • ritsgirl

    I have a funny story regarding Snuffleupagus’s. My husband’s cousin grew up in a house with 5 girls. One day she walked in on her father in the bathroom after a shower. She saw the unexpected and ran out screaming, “Daddy’s bottom has a nose”!

  • http://mooseinthekitchen.blogspot.com moose

    I would like to officially nominate this entry The Post With the Best Run-on Sentence Ever.

    Duly nominated.

    I dread the potty train. Not that I should, as I don’t have kids and may never have kids, but it seems an activity rife with possible consequences. Like chopped off limbs in a future freezer. Though I suppose every parenting activity could conceivably end in such a way. Please excuse me while I go sew my vagina shut.

  • http://thisisitseriously.blogspot.com Melissa

    She is too freaking adorable and that is really, truly hilarious.

  • http://www.subtleglow.com Lily

    Penis or vagina. That’s what we call it. Because we are boring and unoriginal like that. Clinical, really.

    Is it wrong for me to get quite a bit of amusement reading what everyone else calls theirs?

  • http://therambleroom.blogspot.com Hemlock

    It’s not really that shocking, is it? First it was the car seat… now the potty. Fantastic. She’s just claiming her turf!!

    Awesome post. She really is gorgeous.

  • lixxie

    BWAH! Great post.

    Leta has the right idea, though. My toilet is more comfortable than any damn La-Z-Boy! That must be why I can easily spend upwards of an hour sitting there, reading. Or just thinking. Or twiddling my thumbs. Man, I’m sad.

  • http://earthmamagoddess.blogspot.com Deb

    Welcome to potty training!

    We call it a Yoni b/c we Refuse to Be Defined by a Man’s Parts. Plus its cute. Our 2 yr old makes it to the potty almost all the time, except when she is pissed at me (pun intended) and then she says in a sing song voice to make sure I understand it was revenge, “mama, i peed your bed or mama I peed your couch.”
    We take a potty with us in our station wagon for emergencies. Plastic bag in the little cup and voila, instant cleanup. Poor Garbage man….
    She still refused to wipe herself though….And always announces LOUDLY that she has to potty and then grabs herself, ala Micheal Jackson.
    You would think by the 4th kid I would have this down, but I HATE Potty training and kind of ignore it and they end up doing it themselves.

  • http://annesasylum.blogspot.com anne

    I can hardly stand how much you make me laugh. Fortunately, I’m pretty tough.

  • http://windytwilley.blogspot.com Windy

    At our house, Dada has a tootie, Mama has ladyparts. But Tyler says “way-dee-pahts.”

    My parents taught my brother than he had a “wienus,” a horrible wiener-penis hybrid-word that makes a spectacular insult. I was told that I had a “too-lee,” and the first time I saw the word “tulle” I got very confused indeed.

    I don’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom without Tyler or the dog, or both.

  • http://www.hollyrhea.com HollyRhea.com


  • http://jens-space.typepad.com/ JenniferH

    I hope she continues to use it as a seat and not a potty because dumping poop from those things is so smelly and gross. I was glad when my daughter warmed up to the insert on the big potty seat instead :)

  • http://overdressedconfessions.blogspot.com/ kalisah

    We called my son’s wanker a “pee-pee” (genius, I know) and he’s grown up to be a totally normal 13-year-old. Minus, you know, the arrests. And that pesky target practice from the watch tower and all.

  • http://blogs.salon.com/0004595 Meg

    Honestly, the snuffleupagus thing made me choke on my coffee, which lead to a java spray across my white shirt and jeans, and also to coffee coming out my nose.

    Totally worthwhile.

    And I’m so going to use that instead of Hairy Reasoner from now on…

  • Holly

    I think Bunky sounds better than vagina. My mom called it a hoosie, I always thought that sounded dumb.

  • ryansmom

    Oh my gosh- Heather- you and your readers make me laugh so hard! I am so grateful I found this blog…..

    I am in the process of potty training my 2 1/2 year old son. Well someone told me to put cheerios in the potty for him to aim at. Needless to say,I have utterly confused my son and breakfast has become quite interesting! ;-)

  • http://www.dykstraupdates.blogspot.com Angella

    When the time comes to really motivate her, here are a couple of suggestions:

    My older son (he’s 3) would pee on the potty, but not poo. It scared him.I bought him the Diego rescue centre. Once he went, he saw it wasn’t bad, and has gone on the toilet ever since.

    My friend’s daughter is the same in regards to the no pooping policy. She’s also similar in temperament to Leta :) Whenever she wants her daughter to do something (like poop, or maybe go for a NAP that she’s fighting), she calls “Dora” (me) and when Dora suggests something, she does it gladly.

    I’ve even been known to say “Vamonos!”

    Oh, and we have “pee-pee’s”, and “hoo-hoo’s” in our house :)

  • Angela

    It takes a lot just to be able to comment here!

    All I wanted to say really was to not worry too much about the naming of parts.
    When my daughter was three and my son had just turned one she realized they looked different in the bath tub. She came running out to me saying that Jacob had a chubby tail and she didn’t. She was hysterical and shrieking it, echoing throughout the eight story apartment building. We have always taught the correct names of parts so this “chubby tail” was a creation all her own.
    It stuck. We have officially adopted the name because it was so cute at the time and its adorable to hear my youngest (yes, I bred, I have three!) say it.
    If you ever find yourself with a boy, feel free to use it if you want to.
    That is all.

  • http://www.shoesonwrong.net Annie

    I used to do that — watch TV on the crapper as a child. Apparently, I would wait to rush into the bathroom and drag it out during boring parts of the show. There was no way in hell I was going to miss seeing Zoobilee Zoo or those Lee press-on nail commercials because of some stupid bodily function.

  • Talon


    Sorry, not on board with naming body parts anything other than their parts.

    I agree that bunky IS cute, and you absoloutly have the right to teach your daughter what you want her to call her parts and boy bits as well (And kudos also for teaching her the proper terms) but meh…

    My problem was not only didn’t I have cute names to call my parts…(Penis is SO much easier than Vagina or vulva) but for some reason vagina was hard for me to say. Not physically, but embarassedly. Luckly for us, our daughter has not that problem.

    Good luck with the potty training. Our very stubborn daughter refused to learn until just before she turned 4. Then again, I didn’t see the point in forcing her. *grins* I let Auntie Mel Mel and Grandma Mary do THAT!!!

  • http://kristied.blogspot.com KristieD

    we have the same potty chair. ;) and my son manages to take it completely apart usually. Or he does the same thing and drags it around the house to use as a chair or a stepping stone to try and climb things like the tv stand and whatnot. He has shown no interest however in talking, or what it is i do when i go to the bathroom even tho he is usually present whenever i do have to go. ;)

  • Mack’sMom

    Stickers are magic! Yes I have them all over the house, but it’s worth it! We use them for bathtime and the potty. Now when my daughter has to use the potty she says, “Sticker!!!”

  • http://www.kerrianne.org kerri

    I don’t know that it gets better than these “down under” euphemisms. Classic.

    Also, that picture is adorable. : )

  • Michelle~in~Memphis….ugh

    Too, too cute!!! Girls are so easy like that. It’s the boys that want to poop in their pants till they are 5.

  • http://margaritamama.typepad.com/margaritamama/ Tina Morna Freitas

    I taught my kids the proper words for their body parts, and then they went off to school and picked up the words “weenie” and “boobs” anyway.

  • Mack’sMom

    AnnC you made me laugh the hardest! I’m having a bad day, and you just made it all worth it!

  • suzettejackson

    What happened to cheeseburger????

  • http://www.snickrsnack.com Snickrsnack Katie

    Bucky finally gets the recognition she deserves! Yay!

    As for the euphemism “bunky”, it also makes me laugh because my fifth grade teacher’s name was Bunky Sorochak. Mr. Sorochak was an extremely overweight middle aged man, who had skin tags on his eyelids. Don’t ask me why I remember that, but I do. I mean, this was about fifteen years ago, but I remember those skin tags. And he used to keep Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups in his desk drawer, and when we would get a perfect score on a test or homework, he would toss us piece of candy. And not the Halloween snack size – but the FULL. SIZE. CANDY BAR! This man was awesome. Sadly, Bunky Sorochak ended up coming down with Type 2 Diabetes and had to quit teaching, and a few years after I had him as my teacher, he lost a leg. So Bunky had to hop around on crutches, until he died a few years later. Strangely, after he was a teacher, he became mayor of the town I lived in, and there was this huge sign as you entered the town that said “Kingston, PA – HOME OF BUNKY!” So now, everytime I think of my childhood home, I will think of vaginas. Well, for any northeast PA town, that isn’t that strange of a correlation.

    So now instead of thinking of an old gray haired lady in a muu-muu you can think of a fat, sweaty elementary school teacher turned mayor, with skin tags on his eyelids and a wooden leg! Yeah!

  • http://www.mysterymommy.blogspot.com mystery mommy

    That was Muffin Man’s favorite spot for potty sitting, also. Same make of potty, too.