• http://www.flieswithoutwings.blogspot.com Flieswithoutwings

    The lady who sent you the email must be one of those Le Leche fanatics, in which case everything you have done or are yet to do, is wrong.

    The way I see it, if my kids are walking, talking and leaving their leavings within two feet of a toilet or pull-up by the time they start kindergarten, then they are doing okay. Many mothers I’ve met can’t help bragging about lame things that don’t matter, like their kids being potty trained at the age of two. From my experience, just as many kids who “develop early” are just as likely to be rotten snotnosed punks as the kids from any other category.

    I would imagine you have tried increasing the fiber intake with Leta. I know that things get moving when I eat a whole cantelope in one sitting. But we tried giving our toddler prune juice once and the activity down below seemed to be the equivalent of putting an M-80 explosive between the boys cheeks. As far as I know, there is NO MEDIUM SETTING for prune juice, so I don’t recommend it.

    And I don’t want to add to your worries but I think you should be aware of the high tendency of people in gnome shoes to be sucked in and shredded up by commercial escalators. Apparently, the shoes look delicious from the perspective of moving stairs. When you are on an escalator, I would recommend giving gnome-foot upsies for the safety of his/her little piggies.

  • http://epiphanyalone.blogspot.com/ Heather AKA Epiphany Alone

    What a horrible ordeal. I wish I had some advice to offer, but it sounds like you’re doing everything you can for her. Poor Leta. No fun at all.

  • Loob

    And cranberry juice is GREAT for UTI’s! It’s the ascorbic acid.

  • http://www.flieswithoutwings.blogspot.com Flieswithoutwings

    The lady who sent you the email must be one of those Le Leche fanatics, in which case everything you have done or are yet to do, is wrong.

    The way I see it, if my kids are walking, talking and leaving their leavings within two feet of a toilet or pull-up by the time they start kindergarten, then they are doing okay. Many mothers I’ve met can’t help bragging about lame things that don’t matter, like their kids being potty trained at the age of two. From my experience, just as many kids who “develop early” are just as likely to be rotten snotnosed punks as the kids from any other category.

    I would imagine you have tried increasing the fiber intake with Leta. I know that things get moving when I eat a whole cantelope in one sitting. But we tried giving our toddler prune juice once and the activity down below seemed to be the equivalent of putting an M-80 explosive between the boys cheeks. As far as I know, there is NO MEDIUM SETTING for prune juice, so I don’t recommend it.

    And I don’t want to add to your worries but I think you should be aware of the high tendency of people in gnome shoes to be sucked in and shredded up by commercial escalators. Apparently, the shoes look delicious from the perspective of moving stairs. When you are on an escalator, I would recommend giving gnome-foot upsies for the safety of his/her little piggies.

  • http://www.flieswithoutwings.blogspot.com Flieswithoutwings

    Sorry about the repeat posts. How many times are we supposed to hit the submit button? 16, 17?

    And to the La Leche fans:

    Part of me wants to say sorry for making a generalization and part of me thinks that if you are “easy going” then you aren’t following the books right.

  • textimage

    heather, my son is JUST learning to pitty train. He just 4 and Im tellingyou I hear your pain. Like you, I got it lound and clear about him not being trained YET. But I also had a lot of folks who told me not to stress, like our Ped., his pre-school teacher and some friends too. It was the family, with thier special brand of guilt, that manipulated us to push our son at times when he wasn’t ready. And we know better than to succum to parental pressure and guilt when it comes to our child, but you know how those buttons so easily can be pressed. anyway. wouldnt you know if on his own w/o any suggestion from us. he just up and did it one day. i heard stories like this and didnt beleive it but POOF! like a pro. now he still wears diapers when he naps and he poops in his diaper too (he’s an first thing in the a.m. pooper, so the diaper is already on). all of this is his decision. he wasnt a diaper sometimes and wants unders others. he wants to pee on the potty now and poop “when hes bigger”. and now, after him taking responsibility for his pee, i beleive him and feel so relieved. i feel no internal guilt or pressure. its amazing. i know you know she’ll learn one day. but now know that someone else, is in your shoes and thinks your the bomb for listening to your child and NOT your parents or random encouraging emails!

  • traceyp

    Whoever Catherine is, she sounds like a real, well I probably shouldn’t say it, so I won’t. I don’t have any advice, except to say you know Leta best, and you know what’s best for her. My daughter is two, and I’ve found that you can read all the potty training books you can get your hands on, but if they aren’t ready, they aren’t ready. She is completely uninterested in potty training to the point of resisting it, last year I tried leaving her diaper off so she could see herself pee, well she got hysterical when she did, to the point it took two weeks until we could even take her clothes off for a bath without her freaking out. She’s not ready and I’m not going to make the two of us miserable making her try, though I was hoping she might be potty trained before her baby brother or sister is born next week, but it’s not the end of the world that she isn’t…my MIL thought she should be, they will be taking care of her when we go to the hospital, she doesn’t like changing diapers, in fact she never has changed my daughter at all, well she’s just going to have to deal with it, or FIL, I don’t care as long as someone changes her diaper while I’m gone! I’m sure that Leta will potty train too when she is ready, and I’m sorry you had to go through so much trauma having to have her catheterised. UTIs are not fun.

    Also I really loved what you did with your house, I don’t like clutter either, guess Catherine wouldn’t like my house either, not that she will ever be invited over or anything.

  • http://www.sassy8877.blogspot.com Jessica

    I am sure I am not going to say something more brilliant than the other 661 people before me, BUT you know this is Utah where judgement is easier to pass than a bowel movement after a jug of prune juice. So … only Leta’s Momma & Daddy know what is truley best for her, and by God as long as she isn’t figuring out a way for her to walk on Fashion Week showing her new creation: Adult Diapers, then by gawd let the kid be a kid, and in due time she will be ready when she is all ready :)

    Oh by the way, my darling daughter wasn’t potty trained until after 3, and she hasn’t turned into a big pile of poo yet. So I think you are safe. My daughter is actually a very well adjusted 8 year old that can make friends by accepting that we are all unique and have lots to add to this world.

    So chin up little camper, this too will pass.

  • Scottysmum

    Well – I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you .. but wanted to say that I think the fact that you found her UTI will make things much better of course .. you know that! As an old saying goes .. we never see kids in kindergarten in diapers, so give it time, she will definately let you know when it is time Heather.

    When you showed those pictures of Leta’s room, I seriously thought that was one of the most beautiful little girls rooms I have EVER seen. From a mom of a five yr old boy that has a tough time keeping his room tidy I thought her room was very thoughtfully decorated, beautifully organized, with meaningfull artwork etc .. and I thought to myself what a lucky girl Leta is to have you as a mom!! I think your decorating skills are awesome.

    Sarah

  • http://maggie.coffeeshopmafia.com maggiemw

    Always a lurker and never a commenter here but the topic of children’s poop just seemed like the perfect place to start.

    My daughter got severe constipation a few times in her toddlerhood. The very first time we where on vacation and called our doctor to ask for advice. He informed us we would have to give her an enema immediately. It was horrifying what happened next for all of us.

    Whether your kid takes longer to spell his name or use the potty. Don’t feel the pressures of the jerks who think they are superior because their little brat did it sooner. When Leta is ready she’ll let you know.

  • http://kungfukitten.diaryland.com Kungfukitten

    I don’t know why people go out of their way to send hate mail and berate you as a parent and a homemaker. First of all, your house is lovely and is what is known as simply chic. I also have no doubt with a three year old that ther is a constant eruption of toys, books and other fun stuff that constantly has to be put away. This woman seems to insinuate that you threw away all of Leta’s toys and hermetically wrapped your child in plastic wrap. In regards to potty training, I worked at a day care throughout high school and college and children are usually not ready for toilet training until around age three. Phisiologically their body’s just aren’t ready for them to hold it and to recognize the messages to their adorable little brains that they have to go to the bathroom in time to do something about it. It’s amazing, but they totally let you know when their ready. Leta’s medical condition makes it extra difficult as you don’t want toilet training to turn into something traumatic. Just because this woman’s son was able to start peeing in the toilet at age 2 doesn’t mean shit. So to speak. Good for her, she can spend the money she’s saving on diapers for dry cleaning her “my son is toilet trained worship me” sweatshirt.

  • Loob

    Also, dried fruit makes me go, a LOT.
    TMI sorry, thought you might be able to try that! :D

    I loved those photos of your house, by the way. And I looked up those beautiful goldfish plates online. :)

  • Kate

    I feel your pain. My daughter will be 3 in June and we’ve just begun the potty training process. We’re doing it at her pace, which is mostly the “practically never” pace. It’s frustrating, but it just is what it is. The process may take longer because of Leta’s fears now (bless her sweet little heart), but it will happen. Just give yourselves a break and take your time. I know she holds it, but maybe try those those thick, cottony style training undies during the day when you’re home. If she does go during the day, she’ll feel it more than in a regular diaper or pull-up … then she’ll know that it doesn’t always hurt when she tinkles and you’ll be able to reinforce that it’s okay.

    Just a thought. Although, we are currently in the stage where we battle her from taking the ring off the toilet after sitting to tinkle or poop and taking it with her wherever she goes in the house … so what do I know.

    p.s. I love that your house is so neat. I’m very jealous. I regularly give myself anxiety attacks over my dirty house.

  • http://ems.livejournal.com Emma

    Dear Heather,
    Just a little reminder of something that you already know, but sound like you could do with hearing right now:

    You and Jon are the only people who know how to parent Leta, because you are the only people who know Leta well enough to know how she needs to be parented.

    That’s it. You’re doing your absolute best, and that’s all Leta needs.

    Good luck with it. I hope she feels a little better soon, it sounds incredibly traumatic.

  • JulieS

    My heart goes out to you. Knowing this phase will be a distant memory one day can’t be of much help in the here and now – but I admire you and your courage in sharing this.

  • farmer_daughter

    Have you tried having reading “pow wows” in the bathroom? Instead of always reading on the couch, move to the bathroom for a few minutes a day. It will be something new but she is still doing things she likes while not feeling pressured. It worked with moving the toys onto your bed.

    It may not work right away, but she may become more comfortable with the bathroom. She may even get to the point where she may have to read to go. Let’s just hope you have 2 bathrooms, one bathroom for you and Jon and one for Leta to take 30 minutes to go!

  • http://www.lifeandtimesofchantel.com Chantel

    I always heard that it was almost traumatic for some children when potty training started. So I figured that it would be at the child’s pace. Unfortunately my children were in daycare and were required to be trained at a certain age; fortunately for me it was easy. My neice is 9 and is still not fully trained because of Urinary Tract health issues.
    I really don’t think its anyone’s business unless you’re a horrible parent who’s feeding Leta chunks of iron to keep her from pooping.
    Really? Someone took time out of their day to give another person a scolding over potty traiing?
    They need to get a life.
    Leta will go when she’s ready with your encouragement and support; anything else could continue the cycle of horror for her.
    Trust me on the potty horror, I haven’t been the same since I saw Jaws for the first time at 9.

  • cgl1297

    HA — i have three daughters, all grown & two of whom live in SLC (Univ of Utah). One had a quite similar problem when she was little. You are doing the right thing. It will all work out, and Leta will be potty trained when she’s ready. (my daughter is just fine now, 20 and healthy as can be).

  • http://www.flieswithoutwings.blogspot.com Flieswithoutwings

    The lady who sent you the email must be one of those Le Leche fanatics, in which case everything you have done or are yet to do, is wrong.

    The way I see it, if my kids are walking, talking and leaving their leavings within two feet of a toilet or pull-up by the time they start kindergarten, then they are doing okay. Many mothers I’ve met can’t help bragging about lame things that don’t matter, like their kids being potty trained at the age of two. From my experience, just as many kids who “develop early” are just as likely to be rotten snotnosed punks as the kids from any other category.

    I would imagine you have tried increasing the fiber intake with Leta. I know that things get moving when I eat a whole cantelope in one sitting. But we tried giving our toddler prune juice once and the activity down below seemed to be the equivalent of putting an M-80 explosive between the boys cheeks. As far as I know, there is NO MEDIUM SETTING for prune juice, so I don’t recommend it.

    And I don’t want to add to your worries but I think you should be aware of the high tendency of people in gnome shoes to be sucked in and shredded up by commercial escalators. Apparently, the shoes look delicious from the perspective of moving stairs. When you are on an escalator, I would recommend giving gnome-foot upsies for the safety of his/her little piggies.

  • http://guwisays.blogspot.com/ Guwi

    Catherine may be perfect in that her 2 year old is potty-trained and her house is warm and inviting but clean, but I hope she doesn’t judge her kids the way she did you because peeing in the toilet won’t take them as far as high self-esteem will. (Granted, friendship might come a little easier if you’re not peeing in your pants at age 15, but the self-esteem! Much more important.)

    And, I’m sure Leta will be learn to pee in the toilet when she’s ready. I thought my son would never get it, and one day, he was done with the diapers and no looking back. My daughter just turned three, and she still doesn’t get it every time, but she’s trying. She’s almost there.

    Working bodily functions are much more important. Get that issue under control, and potty-training will follow.

    and an enema? I can’t even begin to imagine how awful that must have been, for all of you.

    ps: I love the organization–I’ve been tackling my messes a little at a time, and I’d love it to be that organized. It’ll never happen, but I’m okay w/ that. All the toys in one place would make me happy.

  • Fresh Poptart

    It still continues to amaze me that a complete stranger can be so up in your biz. And why do women have to be such haters toward one another?
    My son is almost 3 and he potty trained himself at one month. In the hospital. While in the incubator, taking oxygen.
    WTF?
    Who cares when it happens? I’ll just be glad he’s out of diapers before he goes to kindergarten.

  • traceyp

    Whoever Catherine is, she sounds like a real, well I probably shouldn’t say it, so I won’t. I don’t have any advice, except to say you know Leta best, and you know what’s best for her. My daughter is two, and I’ve found that you can read all the potty training books you can get your hands on, but if they aren’t ready, they aren’t ready. She is completely uninterested in potty training to the point of resisting it, last year I tried leaving her diaper off so she could see herself pee, well she got hysterical when she did, to the point it took two weeks until we could even take her clothes off for a bath without her freaking out. She’s not ready and I’m not going to make the two of us miserable making her try, though I was hoping she might be potty trained before her baby brother or sister is born next week, but it’s not the end of the world that she isn’t…my MIL thought she should be, they will be taking care of her when we go to the hospital, she doesn’t like changing diapers, in fact she never has changed my daughter at all, well she’s just going to have to deal with it, or FIL, I don’t care as long as someone changes her diaper while I’m gone! I’m sure that Leta will potty train too when she is ready, and I’m sorry you had to go through so much trauma having to have her catheterised. UTIs are not fun.

    Also I really loved what you did with your house, I don’t like clutter either, guess Catherine wouldn’t like my house either, not that she will ever be invited over or anything.

  • brandy

    Yesterday for some reason it wouldn’t let me comment, so I wrote you an email giving some tips that my mom used on me when I had the same problem as Leta. For the record I’m 29 and quite enjoy going to the washroom now!
    I also went back and looked at some photos of your home. I’m so seriously serious when I say I would dance all day and night if I had a house where a small child, a dog and a husband and my house looked even a tiny fraction as nice as yours!

  • Desiree

    I think I was seeing red as I read that woman’s email! She has a lot of nerve. First of all, your docorating style is flawless and has wonderful character. As for Leta…those of us who have read every post you have put on this site know that when Leta is good and ready to go potty, she will. I myself have a boy and he was not potty trained until he was three.

    So you just keep doing what you’re doing, cuz those of us who adore you and your family would not have it any other way!

  • http://bluire.com bluire

    Leta’s fear of going to the loo I can empathsize with! When I was five years old, I contracted hepatitis, from the school toilets I was told. I believed it. For the next thirteen years I never drank during the day and never again used a school toilet.

    If you can, make Leta drink lots of fluids. Lots more than she usually does. A glass of water an hour!

    Constipation can be caused by dehydration and if she has stopped going to to toilet all day, then that means she is not drinking enough and that will probably just make the constipation worse than it already was!

  • anne_marie_oregon

    Hi Heather. Ok, darlin’ breathe, breathe, breathe. For the record, I thought Leta’s room was VERY INSPIRED and CREATIVE. :-) And so is your entire house. Not EVEN sterile in anyway at all. In fact, I took notes and got some IDEAS!

    I’m not a mom, so I have no idea what potty training is about AT ALL … I guess it would not have occurred to me to judge you for it. LOL!

    What a mean, mean-spirited person who would write that to you! Don’t you sweat it, you’re a tough little cookie, I can tell from your bad-ass posts. She is OBVIOUSLY very jealous of your success and your beautiful daughter.

    You keep on being sassy … and don’t let Catherine’s petty nay-saying even GET YOU DOWN, my sista friend. You are a strong female BAD-ASS, like WONDER WOMAN. Or maybe like She-rah. Alright? You hear me?

  • Allison

    I often read your blog and I really enjoy it – so thanks.
    As to toilet training. I have four children myself – so I have toilet trained them all – finally.

    The youngest will be four in April and he has only been trained since October. I waited long enough that I just had to take the diapers away and we were done. It helps that he runs around naked most of the day too!

    Leta will train when she is ready, and you truly are the best judge of when that is. IMHO you really don’t want to turn this into a kicking and screaming battle. It will only make it worse – so stay your course , look for the signs of readiness, let her see others go to the bathroom, hang out with toilet trained kids if you can. Eventually it will happen. Good luck!!

  • Ryan Stewart

    Heather,
    Please, please, please tell me you sent an email to the concerned mother above encouraging her to read these comments. She might learn a thing (or 83 at this point).

    From a purely medical basis, children are ready to be potty trained when their myelin is sufficiently formed. Myelin is the sheath that surrounds the long, skinny part of nerve cells (axons) and it serves to make electrical transmission efficient. When children are born, their myelin is not fully formed. That’s why their motor skills are undeveloped. It’s why they can’t walk, hold a switchblade knife, or use the bathroom inside the porcelain work of art we “grown ups” call a toilet.

    In fact, myelin degeneration is what occurs to people with Multiple Schlerosis. So, hopefully the mother that wrote you is just ignorant. Otherwise, the heartless wench probably wrote a letter to the Multiple Schlerosis Foundation yesterday chastising those silly MS patients who have trouble walking, speaking, and seeing.

    Kids, stay in school. Otherwise you may not have a life and you’ll be forced to write letters concerning things about which you are clueless – and you will look like a moron.

  • leaveacomment

    I just wanted to tell you “good luck.” Being a mother is a tough job, made even worse by judgemental people. I don’t believe teaching children by force is right at all. That is why most people call it “potty learning,” these days. You are doing what is right by letting Leta lead the way. It is much more successful in the long run.
    Best Wishes to you and to Leta!

  • kidsmom

    Both my children have IQs over 140, and neither one of them was potty trained until a couple of months AFTER their 3rd birthday.

    No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. Leta will want the diapers off at some point. Just like SHE decides everything else.

  • Janna

    Leta, a force of nature? Surely the mother of this child and the daughter of the Avon World Sales Leader is also a force of nature herself. Same goes for Jon. So. I think at this point a large-scale potty-training propaganda campaign is in order.

    For oh, about a week or so, you and Jon should sport some stylish adult diapers. This may result in embarrassment and misery for the both of you. If so, don’t hold back. Whine and moan and scream and writhe on the floor as signs of your diaper-wearing discontent. Complain that diapers are horrible, and that you are dying to go to the bathroom on the toilet. Rush to the toilet and pee/poop, exclaiming LOUDLY how wonderful it is to pee/poop, especially ON THE TOILET. Your neighbors might get suspicious of the noise coming from your house, so you might tell them that Leta’s decided she wants to be a WWE wrestler and you’re starting her training early.

    Anyway, if this strategy is successful in winning the War on Toilet Terror, let me know so I can pay off my student loans by writing a book: “Potty Training: Scaring the Shit out of Them.” :)

    Oh, and I guess I should specify that I’m being (sort of?) sarcastic in case that’s not clear!

  • TracyR

    Once again, I am amazed. Amazed by your honesty and openness even in the face of such blatant and self-righteous Bitchiness.

    I come to your blog every day to read your entertaining stories and see your pretty pictures, but I always leave having learned something important. Today I learned that judging is easy and empathy is hard. I have a bit of Catherine in me, and I struggle every single day to squelch the awful judgmental thoughts I have about the people around me. A whiny toddler in line at the grocery store? That mother should control her child, set clearer boundaries, not put up with such behavior. A 3 year-old who hasn’t even begun to potty train? Certainly this child will turn out to be spoiled and selfish because her mother is so obviously a lazy and selfish parent. Nevermind the fact that there is almost always a story there, one that as a passive observer I could never infer, one that would make the Catherine in me feel utterly and completely ashamed of myself for being such a… Bitch.

    So thank you. Thank you for the reminder that I need to be a better model of empathy and kindness for my children, a lesson that The Original Catherine and all the rest of us demi-Catherines would do well to learn.

  • http://a-brilliant-life.blogspot.com/ Rakasha

    Hey Dooce,

    I have been shadowing for a while and never left a comment. I went through the trouble of signing in today, not because I have some super mother advice. Sorry, I wish I did, but I signed in today to say that it sounds like you struck a cord with that woman. Somehow your ability to live the life you live and still have such a beautiful uncluttered home deeply threatened her underdeveloped existence and sense of self. You did way more than she deserved by giving an explanation about Leta. I think both you and Jon sound like loving, intelligent and nurturing parents.

  • DDM

    Heather,
    First I am SO sorry that Leta’s poopage/UTI/potty training issues are so difficult right now. That experience with the catheter SUCKED. Because Leta is so intelligent, she’s made the connection between potty time and the catheter. Yay for brains! Boo for the perfect memory that girl has in her! I’m guessing that with time, as the memory fades a bit, so will the refusal to urinate? I hope. I wish I had more to offer in the way of experiential advice.
    Second, I have a child that is 6 years old and not potty trained. Catherine can come and insult me about it, as obviously I’m WAY more inept at parenting. What kind of person goes out of their way to write (complete with mis-spellings,lol) an e-mail that is nothing but spiteful? Answer ~ AN ASSHOLE.
    You can come over here and give me decorating tips any time you want. We can sip coffee and take turns enjoying the diaper changing while eating bon-bons and letting our hair grow.

  • Jennifer

    My daughter was 3 when she was potty trained. I think that’s pretty typical. I’m sure you’ve received more advice than you can stand, but if you don’t mind another bit of advice from a mother of 3, I have one more thought.

    It’s a little easier to potty train, epecially for night time training, when your child is sleeping in a bed that they can get in and out of by themselves (i.e., a toddler bed or a big girl bed). Both of my kids were able to go to the potty after they had already gone down for the night because they were in toddler beds. This was especially an issue for my son, who needed to go to the potty in the middle of the night.

    Just something to think about before you get ready to train (and it sounds like you’re not ready yet– take your time!).

  • http://www.parkrighthere.blogsome.com Samantha

    I have one more crazy piece of advice. You know the toilet bowl cleaners that you put in the tank of the toilet and it changes the water to blue? Well–yellow and blue make green and it’s a color lesson as well.

    I know it’s silly but my boy thinks it’s so funny to start out with blue water and end with green.

    I don’t know — Leta is super smart she might get it and enjoy that.

    Just an idea.

    Man I feel stupid for admiting that.

  • http://jawnbc.livejournal.com jawnbc

    Oh the poor little girl.

  • Angela

    Heather, it will happen when she is ready. We had a similar problem with our oldest son, although we never had to give him enemas (so sorry for poor Leta). He understood peeing in the potty and once he understood that is how it was suppose to happen he didn’t want to pee in his diaper. But he wouldn’t actually pee in the toilet either so he would hold it until he was frantic and crying. Eventually he would just go but then a couple hours later it would start all over again. What we did was just stopped talking about the potty. If he was holding it and in pain I would comfort him but never mention the peeing or pooping. Not in the toilet or otherwise. That seemed to take some of the anxiety out of the situation. Then one day he just started asking to go in the potty. Three weeks later he was completely potty trained, even at night. Leta is smart and she understands, she just isn’t ready. When she is ready she will just do it. You have to always be waiting for the moment, just pretend like your not. That’s what worked for us. All kids are different. Good luck.

  • MichelleBB

    My daughter, Petra is 3 1/2 years old and still sleeps with me every night. So many of my friends and family (much less strangers) comment on how she’s too old to still be in my bed, how we’ll never get her out (which I doubt because seriously, how many 13-year old girls still sleep with their parents) and how we are horrid parents for allowing such indulgent behavior.

    I especially appreciate the helpful feedback I receive from acquaintances who know nothing about P’s history (i.e., the fact that she was sick–really sick–her first 2 1/2 years of life; that she’s been hospitalized more times during the course of her very young two years than most people will be their entire lives; and that her only comfort at night STILL is her mommy’s hair.

    For those folks, I simply smile, thank them for their feedback, turn my back and wish upon them a pox.

  • Marcy

    I’m sorry to hear that Leta and all of you are going through such a trying time. I hope that things get better soon.

    I thought that your house pictures looked absolutely lovely. I *wish* I could get my act together and have mine look half as good.

    St. Catherine, Our Lady of Bitterness’s children must be absolutely perfect. How nice for her. I’ll bet that she is a delight to her friends. (She really wishes you had shown us all the “before” pictures, so she could feel REALLY superior.) While she’s at it, why isn’t her five month old potty trained? (Not that you CARE!!!!)

  • wannabemae

    One word…pears! Methinks Madame Catherine might need to ingest a pear or two herself.

  • Jane in Camden

    What an entirely ghastly experience for Leta. Poor lamb: catheters are just nasty.

    It will all happen in good time. You are doing your best for her, and you are doing good.

    ~x~

  • http://biodtl.diaryland.com biodtl

    I don’t have any advice, except don’t worry about it. My daughter has a problem with UTIs and urinary reflux, so we dealt with some of the same issues. Luckily, she didn’t have the added bonus of constipation and we were able to get her trained just before her 3rd birthday (although I know some of it had to do with the nearing vacation – Disney – and the perfect bribe…er…reward – the princesses). But my son was 4 before he was trained. He was able to do it, was not afraid, but just chose not to. No amount of begging, pleading, psychology, threatening or bribery would change his mind. I was afraid he’d be going to school in diapers and then one day he just started on the potty. He’s a perfectly normal well, adjusted 10 year old now, so don’t worry one bit about Leta. And don’t let the assholes get you down.

  • http://www.myspace.com/maliadore heathermalia

    So her kid is two and potty trained. Bully for them. That kid is definitely in the minority.

    My daughter is three and a half and we are still working on potty training. She can pee in her potty no problem, but when it comes to poo, well, there the fun ends. We go through a LOT of underwear. Don’t let any other parents tell you how your kid should be. Only you and she knows that. It’ll happen. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. :)

  • Cosmic Girl

    Hi Heather – So sorry to read your plight – and it makes me so angry when people make sweeping judgements based on their own festering doo doo, rather than informed and factual information.

    Anyway – I was going to email you as I have some well researched nutritional suggestions which I felt the urge to share with you:

    1. Infants acidophillus is fantastic for balancing gut flora aiding healthy poop, which may be relative to Leta. Its tasteless, powder form so you can sprinkle
    in food/drinks and she would not know (biocare do a good one).

    2. Avoid sugary foods (ha – good luck!)

    3. You can also add omega oil 3,6,9 to food (kids version) which is fabulous for inflammation, mood, and helps with digestion and cell growth.

    I could point out the negative about OTC laxatives, but dont want to criticise. As a mother, I understand the desire to give the nearest thing to make them feel better.

    Balls to other people’s opinions, you know whats best for your daughter.In your own time.Personally I had a huge block with p.training and put it off until he was last in his class. But has it harmed him? NOOOOOOO.

    Thanks Heather.

  • traceyp

    Whoever Catherine is, she sounds like a real, well I probably shouldn’t say it, so I won’t. I don’t have any advice, except to say you know Leta best, and you know what’s best for her. My daughter is two, and I’ve found that you can read all the potty training books you can get your hands on, but if they aren’t ready, they aren’t ready. She is completely uninterested in potty training to the point of resisting it, last year I tried leaving her diaper off so she could see herself pee, well she got hysterical when she did, to the point it took two weeks until we could even take her clothes off for a bath without her freaking out. She’s not ready and I’m not going to make the two of us miserable making her try, though I was hoping she might be potty trained before her baby brother or sister is born next week, but it’s not the end of the world that she isn’t…my MIL thought she should be, they will be taking care of her when we go to the hospital, she doesn’t like changing diapers, in fact she never has changed my daughter at all, well she’s just going to have to deal with it, or FIL, I don’t care as long as someone changes her diaper while I’m gone! I’m sure that Leta will potty train too when she is ready, and I’m sorry you had to go through so much trauma having to have her catheterised. UTIs are not fun.

    Also I really loved what you did with your house, I don’t like clutter either, guess Catherine wouldn’t like my house either, not that she will ever be invited over or anything.

  • http://wendee.lefebvre.us Wendee

    Wow how does that working mom find the time to sit down and write you such a nasty email! =o)

  • Loob

    I just boggle at the thought that people think they have the right to tell you how to furnish your home. That is all kinds of demented right there. Catherine’s brain is not hooked up right, that’s quite clear. So you can readily disregard any comments from her.
    I agree with those that have said she must be very insecure to be so hostile.

    I’m so sorry about that awful experience you and Leta and Jon had, and all the pain with the infections and constipation.
    In my opinion you are correct, Leta will get it all sorted, when she is ready. No need to force it.
    Best wishes, Loob

  • acwardell

    Heather,

    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, but never commented. I really enjoy your writing style and your humorous take on life in general.

    I’m so glad you shared the comment from the snitty-potty lady, as it prompted me to actually be internet socialable.

    What a scank! She must be seriously unhappy with herself. Don’t listen to her. If I had children, I would do exactly what you’re doing. Your family’s experiences with Leta must have been nothing short of paralyzing. SAD.

    Anyway, I LOVE your house. I really like the lamp on your piano. AND, I love Leta’s carpet. I think it’s made by the company I work for. Very smart choice :) She’s bound to be the chicest girl in Utah.

  • KillCreek

    Heather you are obviously very in tune with Leta and her needs. Good for you for following her lead without judgement. That’s what great moms do. :) As all of my other parent friends tell me .. it does get easier. Keep the faith!