• Joanna

    Are you sure Chuck and Bo aren’t trying to frame Coco? Oh, wait, you have proof. Never mind.

  • Jeanette

    As I read, and scrolled down, I kept saying “oh no” louder and louder until I finally came upon the destruction! You are such a fantastic story-teller! What a great entry, though I’m not sure you are as psyched on the story as I am…being the hat widow and all. Here’s hoping Utah has similar awesomeness to buy at your local mall.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe Jon should have gotten you a hippo and not a puppy!

  • http://legalmystenigmary.blogs.com Baby Lawyer

    Are you kidding? If I looked that fab in a hat, I’d wear one all the time! But poor Coco – ouch!

  • http://bird-in-the-hand.blogspot.com/ Robin

    You look like an incognito movie star in the hat, quite glam.

    I once had a puppy that tore apart a rabbit fur jacket that I had hung on the back of the bedroom door so I wouldn’t forget to pack it to give to my sister in law. BUT, I didn’t shut the door all the way and then a hammer fell out of the sky… oh, I mean the puppy SHREDDED the jacket and then tried to explain that since it was rabbit and he was a beagle it was his duty, etc. etc. And then he pooped fur for 4 days. I never liked that sister in law anyway.

  • http://www.mica21.com Laura Thompson

    When my lab puppy decided my new leather boots looked tastier than the puppy food we gave her, she didn’t actually eat anything but the laces — which eventually had to come out. Not pretty.

    Just like my boots, however, your hat is (was) AWESOME.

  • Stacey

    i raise guide dog puppies for the blind. so thus i regularly have an eight week old monster running around the house. some are better at not chewing than others… one particular yellow lab chewed: a basketball sized hole in the wall, two leather leashes, one crate, and one string of christmas lights: bulbs, wire, and all. that one was fun because we had to check each poop to make sure the bulbs were coming out ok. groan.

  • http://www.doubledanger.com James | Double Danger

    Our dogs tend to destroy anything that brings us joy also… but we love them anyhow.

  • Mojo

    That’s funny. I thought, according to the onslaught of abuse a previous reader was subjected to, that Heather “never” (never!) opened her posts for comments. Never? Really? Huh.

    Great post, Dooce! As always. Some hats are just worth lugging. They’re just worth it. No matter what the future holds.

  • http://finnsspace.wordpress.com Kathryn

    so went the way of my Steve Maddens, an uber-trendy beach grass straw bag, the monks’ dog training book, a $50 bill, etc.

    good thing she’s cute, eh?

  • Renee’

    This is why I read this blog…After working 10 hours, grocery shopping, putting the kids to bed etc etc blah blah blah….I read this and wipe the tears streaming down my face…this is why I read this blog… :)

  • Cassie

    I also had a dog destroy a beloved hat. Mine was the color of cookie monster and just as fuzzy. I bought it in Big Sur and it survived a week of extreme hiking, rain/snow/sleet….yet it could not withstand a black lab.

  • Dani_Buddy

    All I can say is “Go, Coco!!!” Sorry.

  • shaunacon

    Why does Coco seem to be infatuated with eating her bedding? Didn’t Jon post some photos a few weeks ago of a similar incident?

  • http://whimsical.aeriose.com Clara

    As the story progressed, the hat began to grow on me.

  • http://www.tokenblogger.com uǝʞoʇ

    Oh, crap! I totally forgot to warn you about puppies and HATS!

    Those puppies will totally try to eat your favorite I-only-wear-to-parties-that-I-know-I-don’t-have-to-drive-home-from-hat-that-your grampa-gave-you; or the sun block hat you got while on vacation.

    Same difference. Sorry.

  • Christina

    That is THE funniest thing ever!!! I can only imagine the poop pay back might teach her not to chew straw hats ever, EVER again.

  • http://greyautumnrain.livejournal.com Elizabeth

    I’m so sorry to hear about your hat! I’m a hat wearer myself, by necessity. (I have trouble finding foundation light enough to match my skin tone.) I would probably kill anyone who destroyed one of my beloved hats, so I admire your restraint. If you ever come to Boston, there is a shop on Newberry Street called Toppers. Go there and get another hat. If you invite me along I will help you pick out one you will love without the aid of ethanol.

  • http://leslies_life.blogspot.com/ Leslie

    i can’t breathe…. i snorted… ohhh shit. that was so damned funny and i can’t catch my breath i am laughing so hard, coupled with a few snorts and those are hard to come by on me, so you know it was funny. ooooohhhhoolllyy cow.

  • http://nosugrefneb.com/weblog Ben

    Ah, Costco dog beds. Can’t beat ‘em.

  • Kel

    OMG! You are absolutely fabulous at telling a story! I was not expecting Coco to eat the hat!! Anyway, I love your writing; you are awesome- and you can totally wear a hat. And that has nothing to do with the Rum and Kool-Aid I’ve been drinking.
    When I laugh out loud like that, my kids always know who I am reading! Thanks for sharing.

  • shaunacon

    Scratch that last comment. For some reason even with the explanation of the hat I thought it was her bed. Why must puppies eat everything chewable?

  • http://elusivbutterfli.blogspot.com/ Moshizzle

    NOOOO! Not the HAT!!!

  • jessica

    Having lived with a puppy, i can relate.

    And also, I think that hat looked quite elegant on you, especially with the big sunglasses!

  • sarah b

    ohmigod. Heather. The hat? great. Shades? check. Jazz hands? WTF? :)

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com the mighty jimbo


    keep her regular.

    hopefully not on your carpet.

    for the record, while camping/climbing this weekend in bishop, my own delicate pooch decided to do a little digging next to the crag.

    into a nice, fresh pile of human poop.

    me, i’d rather have straw.

  • babette

    Hm. I wish you’d posted that a titch earlier. I came home with a mixed breed pup over the weekend. What have I done?

    You looked FABULOUS in that hat!


  • Jan

    Sad to say, this is exactly why my house doesn’t have any throw rugs (aka doggie shredding fun) that cost more than $20. No $500 Oriental rugs for me, oh no!

  • Rachel

    I think it’s funny that the ad at the top of your page was a propaganda ad for the Mormon.org page…LOL

  • http://girlanddogg.com Shannon

    Haha, oh my gosh. I won’t even tell you how many thousands (yes thousands) of dollars worth of stuff my lab chewed up when she was a puppy (read the first TWO AND A HALF YEARS of her life). Love that hat though. I can’t pull off hats, but you definitely can, despite your opinion to the contrary.

  • Anonymous

    oh man, I soooo needed something to make me laugh right now. Thanks Coco.

  • http://petuniaface.blogspot.com Petunia Face

    Oh dear. I quite liked the hat especially after realizing it was either the hat or big gouges of your skin would be taken off after your white blood cells mutated and multiplied.

    Poor Coco. Now you will simply have to wear her on your head. Just make sure the ass goes in the back. Everyone knows that.

  • http://familyclay.com Clayjack

    You could switch to the always fetching polka-dot umbrella for your UV shielding. Plus, when retracted they make good dog prods.

  • http://valcox.blogspot.com val cox

    oh my, thank you for the laugh and the great story telling, once again!

  • http://raisingapumpkin.blogspot.com/ Steph

    Sorry for your loss, and I really hate to laugh at your expense, but I have had a HORRIBLE day and I needed that laugh, so thank you for your sacrifice.

  • rbiggs

    Your puppy may be a royal pain in the butt, but she is very cute! I have a dog who still, at the ripe old age of 3, eats many non-food items. Although my personal favorite was pulling a legal sized envelope complete with a “window” out of her poopy, puppy butt! Envelope still in tact, but not re-usable.

  • kat

    omg! did you know there was an ad for the book of mormon below your masthead? very funny!!!!

  • http://athomewiththefarmerswife.blogspot.com the Farmers Wife

    Well at least you know how the dog feels about your fashion choices!

    - Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  • mel

    Sorry about the hat. Just so you know, you totally pulled it off. Super cute!

  • http://www.twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/ Emily

    Hahahahahahaha!!! That’s too funny. You did look good in the hat though.

    Ahhh…..my good friend tequila. I miss you.


  • Kitty Cat

    You look great in the hat! I’m glad you realized it, and it was fun since you had drinks to do it…at least you have a picture to document the fabulousness of it all! By the way, I find it hilarious that the Mormons are advertising on your website. The truth is restored!! On dooce.com!

  • http://www.heathersgarden.typepad.com Heather’s Garden

    If they would only target fashion disasters, but it’s equally likely that they’ll destroy your favorite-most-perfect-pair of shoes that never gave you blisters that are no longer available anywhere!

  • mel

    maybe coco will make you some poop noodles.

  • http://crazyamandaworld.blogspot.com Yankee Amanda

    Awww, she was ticked because her mama left her at home and came back looking like a ’70s mannequin!

  • austinjenm

    I can totally feel your pain, I have a 3yr old lab & when she was a puppy anything from my slippers to the garden hose she consumed….

  • Stacy


    Moose is now 5 months old, 75 pounds, and driving me ABSOLUTELY BONKERS. For awhile there he had the “no peeing in the house” concept totally down. This week? NOT SO MUCH, THANKS.

    How is it possible to be simultaneously so cute and so aggravating??


    PS – Loved the hat. I would have been pissed :)

  • margiesbooboo

    (snort) it could be worse. my brothers lab ate his leather recliner. sorry about the hat, you looked good in it.

  • Brandy

    I feel your pain! Whenever talk of getting another dog comes up I go through the list of things our 9 year old dog has ate, including but not limited to..
    One pound of butter
    One bag of glitter
    2 rare books both borrowed from friends
    A feather pillow
    Many dead things
    A box of sugar cubes
    A box of donuts
    Copious amounts of cat poop.
    A frozen bag of french fries
    25 Kinder eggs.

    I liked the hat by the way and I’m not even that drunk!

  • http://www.martybanana.com Marty Banana

    You see?!!

    This is exactly why I never let our dog in the house.

    This and that whole pooping on the carpet thing.

  • Christi

    Has anyone ever told you that you look like Nancy Grace? I think it’s your nostrils or maybe your eyebrows or something. Definitely the hair though.