• http://www.sony-alpha.org Sony Alpha

    Good luck Heather! You can do it.
    And so you can laugh, I too have adopted a puppy.

  • http://www.postednote.com eddo of postednote

    Heather, I did the detox and felt great while I was on it. I lost 25 pounds in 17 days. It was great. However, since I’ve been off of it I have gone right back to eating the way I did before. I don’t feel guilty about it either. I wish I could stick to something like that long-term.

    Also, this part of your post right here made me want to open mouth kiss you it was so great:

    I said, no, that’s not pee, but she ignored me, counted each wet spot and informed me, “Eleven. She peed eleven times.” Thank, you, Leta for gathering such detailed data, although I’m not going to be impressed until you’ve shown me some charts.

  • sarah shevett

    Good luck on your 21 day change of life/style.

    However, as a rancher and a farmer, if you give up meat because you have seen or read something about some ranching practices, then maybe you also shouldn’t have a dog because some dogs live in horrible living situations. Or eat cheese or milk because you have seen propaganda about dairy farms. How about the yeasts that are killed in the baking of bread?
    How about the massive monoculture farms of soybeans or corn that are destroying the environment?

    Yes, there are bad ranchers and bad feedlots. But there are far far more consciencious and caring cattleman that know that the only way to succeed is to have happy and healthy animals and to produce a quality product, and care for the land. They care for and are concerned about the safety and health of their animals. I think that these ranchers are the rule, not the exception, as the media has tried to portray.

    I agree that we eat way too much meat in this country, but to give up an entire food, a food that is completely natural for humans, because you have seen or heard or been told that there are bad bad farmers is a bit naive on your part. I would hope that you might do a bit more research. There must be cattle ranches not far from where you live and you will see for yourself that most cattle ( and lambs and goats, not so sure about chickens btw, but there are places that do care about them and raise them humanely) live happy healthy natural lives.
    Remember, everything dies. There is no life without death.

    And there is also the simple choice of just buying natural or humanely raised meat, if the way that they were raised is your main concern.

    It seems you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

  • http://www.postednote.com eddo

    Am I banned? I just posted a comment and it totally didn’t show up.

    Anywho, I did the detox and lost 25 pounds in 17 days. I also blogged about it every single day giving updates on my food and weight. I felt great, but I’m back to eating crap. Funny thing about it was that at 14 days I felt like I could eat like that forever, by day 18 I was ready to eat an entire cows haunches while it was still alive.

  • http://lambsbreath.blogspot.com Ellen

    I just want to check in. Thank you for the guests. Dutch is great! My Florida is coming up in two weeks, but it’s on the Queen Mary 2. I can’t wait! A cleanse sounds interesting. I’m looking forward to the chronicle. Welcome back home!

  • http://www.postednote.com eddo

    Okay, I’m apparently retarded, or mentally challenged… I see the comments now, they are on the last page. Silly me.

  • http://www.lilja.no Stellare

    I believe you are being a bit hard on yourself, dear. :-)

  • Miss Dahlia

    I once did a 48 hour juice fast. I lasted all of 6 hours, and then demanded my husband drive me to get a Big Mac and I don’t even like McDonalds!

    If you’re interested in how the food you eat can manipulate your mood, I’d suggest a book called “The Mood Cure” by Julia Ross. It’s an interesting read, and even if you don’t use the suppliments she suggests, just the diet changes are extremely helpful. I may not be completely “cured” (I still take anti-anxiety meds), it helped more than I ever thought something like that could.

  • Danielle

    I gave up sugar voluntarily and gluten at the advice of my psychiatrist. I lost 60 pounds and never felt better. However, I was not able to kick the caffeine.

    Good Luck!

  • Amanda

    I just made the decision to become a vegetarian almost two months ago and I’ve replaced many dairy products with vegan versions as well as upped the fruits and veggies, bought vegetarian meat replacements and fell in love with tempeh served with soy sauce. I feel amazing, my mood has been better, I’m not as irritable, I’ve lost 6.5 pounds and my irritable bowel (lovely, I know) has calmed down significantly. I also cut out coffee & soda. It’s hard at first but after about 30 days my body adjusted and I noticed the change, I can’t imagine going back at this point. Also go buy the book Skinny Bitch. They have a lot of great tips and lists of foods to buy. Good luck Heather!

  • Danielle

    And, oh yeah, I almost forgot! Pick up a copy of Gluten-Free for Dummies. Very helpful.

  • http://mindyhf.blogspot.com Mindy

    Hi, Heather.

    I wish you the best of luck with this cleanse!

    I can kind of relate, as I am on a restricted diet too. My baby’s allergic to dairy and soy so I’ve had to cut those out of my diet. It’s been harder than I could’ve imagined.

    I just wanted to recommend a super yummy ice cream substitue that is made with coconut milk and sweetened with agave juice instead of sugar. It’s called Larry & Luna’s Coconut Bliss. It has helped me keep my sanity in a world without dairy. I hope it can help you too.

    Anyway, again good luck and I hope you feel like Florida soon.

  • http://www.scribbledstories.com Shawn Hansen


    While I wish you luck with the “new” you, please-oh-please promise you will remain loyal to running over e-mail and mocking idiots.

    And talking about poo.


  • Kristen from MA

    Yay for thinking about giving up meat! Didn’t think you’d ever consider doing so, given the way you rhapsodize (is that a word?) about bacon.

    But giving up sugar, gluten, and caffeine – all at once? You are very, very, brave…

    I’ll be looking forward to your progress reports. It will be nice to hear about this program from someone who won’t pull any punches.

  • http://www.nothingcreativetoday.com Mallory

    I’ve been meat/dairy/sugar/caffeine free for 3 weeks now and it’s the best decision I have ever made. For me, the first 2 days were physically difficult, no caffeine/sugar made me super sleepy, but after that it became more of a “Mind over Matter” sort of game. It is INSANE how what you eat effects how you feel. So far my favorite side effects are clarity of mind, and the ability to cope with stress. Not to mention food tastes different, (read: better) and you totally feel empowered.

    Good luck, it is worth it I promise, you just gotta get past those first few days.

    On a random note, I met you & Jon at your book signing at King’s English a few weeks ago, and ever since I keep having recurring dreams that I am friends with you and Jon. Is that weird? Definitely. But you’re always super nice and inviting me to watch movies. So thanks for that.

  • http://www.conversiondiary.com/ Jennifer (Et Tu?)

    Best of luck making every day “Florida”! I’m working on making every day “anywhere other than the inhospitable-to-human-life, 100-degrees-with-90%-humidity, scorpion-infested great state of Texas”

    I was about to add a note telling you know that I LINKED TO YOU!!! (by giving you credit for ripping off your wit since I have none of my own), and then I came to my senses and remembered that I’m reading Dooce, and that that would be like contacting the publisher of the New York Times that you read his paper.

    Have a nice week. :)

  • http://www.halfasstic.com/ Krissa

    Funny that you mentioned the neti pot. I just posted about it yesterday because of my daughter’s sinus infection. How weird is that?
    Hope your husband is better soon. Those headaches suck sooo bad.

  • http://www.typealice.com/blog Gillian

    I did the cleanse, lasted two weeks. Could have gone longer but my partner (sister) kept cheating and it was hard to stay motivated. The best part of the cleanse was thinking up new recipes.

    Rice crackers and rice noodles saved us. Make sure you read the ingredients on EVERYTHING (including soy products) because there’s wheat gluten in so many things. Also sugar in stuff like stewed tomatoes. Totally annoying.

    Good luck! Day three is the hardest.

  • Anonymous

    I hope Coco gets well soon.

  • thatgirlkelly

    Good luck with the cleanse I hope you find what you are looking for in this experiment. I’m only concerned that you are choosing to self impose great restriction when your life sounds to be already quite challenging. Perhaps a more gentle approach to start?

    Americans tend to buy into this No Pain No Gain idea. Maybe No Pain No Resistance is more like it. What if we eased our way into change rather than bulldozed over it?

    You are a hell of a woman and either way you will be fine. As I said before, good luck with your road ahead.

  • Single mom in New England

    Why is the recent chaos only going to get more chaotic? Did I miss something?

    Thank you so much for sharing your life with us!! Your writing is hysterical and refreshing. Just please remember and know that you’re not alone dealing with crazy schedules, demanding relationships (of children and fathers) and pooping dogs!!!

    Life is truly a roller coaster – I’m so glad you got to relish the soul-calming effect of warm sand and an ocean breeze for at least a little while!! Take care!

  • Kerry

    Long time reader delurking to say: yay for giving up meat! Or at least cutting down meat consumption. Because you do realize bacon is made of meat, right?

    Anyway, good luck with your cleanse. I don’t think I could make it 21 days without chocolate, but I’ve long ago realized that you are a much stronger women than I.

  • http://www.nookra.com Julie Coleman

    This is my first comment here (I think – LOL). I have to preface my relevant comment with an emphatic, “OMGILURVEURBLOGSOMUCH!!!”

    I didn’t read all these comments, but I did a quick search of the page and saw that at least one person mentioned Eckhart Tolle. Seriously. Helpful! If you’re ready for a change, that’s a damn good place to start. :)

    (Also – I have a Yahoo! group if you’re ever interested in pursuing and discussing. Anyone else, too. There’s a link on my website.)

    Good luck with all!


  • http://velvetlava.blogspot.com/ Ann

    Well, it’s just crappy that you came home to wake up to a bunch of crap. Maybe it was the sign that confirmed you needed this newfound direction and cleanse. Bravo on that.

    I haven’t eaten meat (I eat fish) in 15 years and really don’t miss it at all. It’s worth the sacrifice if it leeches even a bit of profit from any slaughterhouse.

    My dogs are the purest creatures I know – I respect them far more than any mere humans. Especially when Wylie got rid of his shit breath. YES, it DOES pass.

  • http://momquixote.wordpress.com Mom Quixote

    I thought of doing the 21-day thing, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my husband will give me hell about it, having seen in on Oprah, God forbid. Bah, then again, the man hates Florida. What does he know?

  • http://hopesmommy.blogspot.com Melissa

    Good luck with the cleanse! I gave up gluten about a month ago and I’m having really good results. I hope the same for you!!

  • http://stepofaith.blogspot.com Nicole

    Amen, I say, amen.

    You will love how you feel off of all that stuff.

    It’s funny how the world shifts in shifts, isn’t it?

    Today you made me feel like I really am riding an invisible wave of change that will now be expressed as “everday is Florida.” (Too bad it’s taken me the last nine years since I went to Pensacola and wished it for myself, but hey, it’s not how fast we get there, but that we do at all, right?)

    hugs from the lurker girl who only comes out ?? well, I guess when I get the soul chord struck. =)

  • http://blogs.sun.com/davetong/entry/crash_course_in_brain_surgery Dave Tong

    I saw your tweet on your headache – PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR ASAP. That’s a classic symptom of a brain hemorrhage.

    I hope that you or someone who can reach you is moderating these comments.

  • http://aplanetnamedjanet.blogspot.com Janet

    Florida. Yeah.

  • Jady

    …but you can still smoke a bowl, right?

    I mean…ahem…kick ass, babe. Just don’t do the lemonade diet. It’s a bit nuts.

    QUESTION: I’ve been wondering this, and it’s a bit personal, so fell free to tell me to suck a nail, but how detox did you go during pregnancy? And how did you ease off the meds without having your body/brain see-saw? I’m a few years away from trying for a baby, but I’m already terrified of all the changes…or, rather, terrified that I’ll make my husband/family/self miserable for 9+ months…

  • Nicole

    It is just amazing to have you all home, in any shape. Although the guests were amazing writers, it felt like a looooooong week of holding one’s breath. Waiting. For. Them. To. Come. Home.

    I always knew you had a gripping voice, but, wow. What a relief.

  • http://noappropriatebehavior.blogpost.com laura

    i’ve thought about doing that clense myself — i’m allergic to wheat so i’ve been gluten-free for about three years now (totally saved my life, no lie). going off gluten for me was like a crack addict going through withdrawl at home, alone, for three weeks. shakes and everything. my husband begged me eat a fucking big mac already.

    anyway. don’t know where i’m going with that but! but! what’s your new cleanse like? i can’t do very many cleanses because i’m now also allergic to soy, mellons, squashes, rosehips and bananas. (dude. rosehips. isn’t that random?) so i most definitely can’t do that prepackaged crap anymore.

    oh — and jon. my husband has a GROWTH in his nasal cavity so big it’s actually pushing his nose to one side of his face. he was sent to a ear nose and throat specialist (i know they have a fancy pants name for that, but i don’t care) and he was all “yeah, that growth is really common if you have chronic sinus infections”. so, in other words. find out what it is before he has a growth that pushes his nose to one side of his face because once that shit happens, that’s all you see.

  • Lisa

    I would like to recommend L-Theanine for Anxiety. I’ve been taking it for a month and I feel so much better. It really takes me down a few notches. It’s a natural supplement derived from Green tea.

  • http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/search/label/by%20Jacquie Jacquie

    Wow, good for you. I would surely benefit from a cleanse like the one you mention, but I’m not desperate enough to give up my caffeine. And booze. And meat. Can you eat fish? I might survive it if I could still eat sushi. Maybe I’ll buy the book, and put it under my pillow to suck the toxins out right through my head. I’ll be curious to read how it is going for you, good luck!

    Your thought processes remind me of the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, who I had the pleasure of listening to recently. His writings about mindful living have been very helpful to me.

  • http://www.thedomesticgoddess,wordpress.com The Domestic Goddess

    Kripes, what the HECK do you do for protein? Beans? Tofu? I dunno. I am a former vegetarian who just can’t go back. Yet.

    But it sounds like a good cleanse. Hope you can stick to it, 21 days ain’t easy.

  • http://myspace.com/quietandtrue Sarah D.

    WOW. I’ve been reading your blog for almost exactly four years. First time I’ve ever posted. What a coincidence that you wrote this on the same day that I was deciding that I needed extremely similar changes — mostly with my perspective and attitude about life.

    I was sitting outside eating a delicious hot bowl of tomato soup (yeah, I know, I’m weird it was 95 degrees) and felt this lovely AMAZANT breeze and thought, I want to feel like every day I’m at the ocean (although I live smack down in the middle of the midwest constantly on the go doing random meaningless human stuff)… I want to feel like my life means something, damnit! And that’s what I’ve set out to do… to make it mean something. Even if I make it’s all make-believe.

    I thought of many things I want to do during this thought-orgasm. This one being one of my favorites: anonymous fortune cookie comments (minus the cookie). I want to write really nice things on little sheets of paper, put them in an envelope with “For you, whoever you are” inscribed on the front, and put them in places all over my little town in hope that someone can’t NOT open it. I hope to at least make someone chipper up a bit. (Yes, we can all be way too grouchy and take life way too seriously.)

    Let’s all go do some nice crap! For ourselves/for others

  • Anonymous

    maybe i should read that book.

    i’ve been overwhelmed since i had my daughter 2.5 years ago. sure, things are easier now than when she was younger, but i still feel like i can’t get anything done, everything’s always a mess, and i wonder where the hell the day went. when do i get to feel like me again? i think i’m gone, am now a new person, i just can’t figure out exactly who that is.

    i’d cry, but i just don’t have the energy.

  • Shelly

    That is one of the best photos you’ve ever posted. Makes me want to go to Florida too.

  • Lori

    Hi Heather,

    I have done a 21 day cleanse before. I am a naturopathic physician and I usually recommend it for 7-21 days every spring. I do not eliminate fish or chicken, though, as I feel protein is essential for well being. It is very difficult to get adequate protein on a vegan diet (as well as adequate B 12 or B 6, both necessary for numerous biochemical functions and managing stress). Also, I recommend staying away from soy products, since that is one of the most common food allergens. That would be virtually impossible on the vegan cleanse. (For more about soy check out the Weston Price foundation website)

    I also would drink three protein smoothies a day in addition to meals. Rice protein powder is best. Add some coconut oil or almond butter in the smoothie along with a banana and some almond milk. it will taste like a yummy treat and satisfy any sweet cravings.

    All the best! You are inspiring me to do a cleanse right now, as I haven’t done it in a few years.

    PS. Amy’s organics has a frozen pizza thats gluten and dairy free. yum.

  • Christina

    Aw man!
    I wish you’d given some warning about the cleanse!

    As you look to keeping track of it on the blog as a motivational tool, I would have looked to your writing about it as a tool to stay on track myself. I’d love to try it!

  • Brid

    Good luck. I don’t care if you stick to the cleanse, or if veganism ends up being the right choice for you; I just want you to make your own Florida every day.

  • emily

    dooce, your writing never fails to inspire me. you’ve probably heard of these, but just in case you haven’t, here are some resources that i’ve found useful for, well, life:

    http://www.unclutter.com (i too am looking to become more organized)

    also, at the risk of sounding even more new-age-y, i really recommend thich nhat hanh’s the miracle of mindfulness, particularly for the breathing and meditation exercises in the first half. good luck, i hope the permanent mental vacation works out!

  • http://andothertimes.com Jillian

    Hi Heather…

    Wanted to suggest finding a chiropractor for Jon for (what sounds like) his recurring sinus infections.

    Good luck with the cleanse! I’m interested in hearing how it goes.

  • http://not-quiteright.net/tvg Jen

    Oh hells yeah! The only thing I can’t ever agree with you on is bacon. Thanks for solving that problem, you now get to be my hero times five.

    If you’re looking for some yummy (read: awesome) vegan food in SLC, check out Sage’s Cafe, Estes Pizza, the Vertical Diner, Bangkok Thai, and Cafe Shambala.

    Or I can just come by and cook for you, ha ha.

    And for those of you with protein questions? Vegans (and veggies, I suppose) get ours from food, the same way you do.

  • http://www.seawright.info/writing/ Sonja

    I have not read all of the other comments, so someone else might have addressed this already.

    I read “The Ethics of What We Eat” a while back, thinking that I would become a vegetarian. I’ve been vegetarian before, and that didn’t seem too hard. Well, I came away from that book thinking that it was actually MORE humane to eat meat than to eat eggs and dairy. (Obviously, being vegan was the most humane.) Why was eating eggs and diary worse? Well, all of those animals were ultimately killed inhumanely, too, just as the meat animals, once they stopped producing milk or eggs at a high enough rate. Plus, they were kept alive longer, in horrible conditions. The animals bred for meat had shorter lives, which seemed kinder.

    It’s a struggle. I have been on a path towards veganism for a while now. Currently, I am also doing a cleanse, which – more or less – involves adopting a “raw vegan” diet (i.e. eating only fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts). My cleanse has been difficult for me. I look forward to reading about how you are doing on yours.

  • http://www.wheresmydamnanswer.com Kristy – Where’s My Damn Answer

    The author of that book is a Ladies Who Launch member and is speaking at a meeting that I’m going to tomorrow night. I was also intrigued. I look forward to hearing your experience. I’m not sure if I have it in me to tackle that right now – haha

  • Will

    Good luck.

  • http://www.gagliardislife.blogspot.com Felicia

    Your life change sounds awesome. I’m still waiting for the day when my revelation comes.

  • http://habitual.wordpress.com Creature of Habit

    Wow – Florida really did you some good. You are so full of energy and life….I really want to do a cleanse too, as I eat nothing but crap. So, I will look forward to your posts about it. Good Luck!

  • alikatze

    Egads, Heather, sorry you feel the need to do a radical diet in order to get “order” in your life….Give yourself permission to bail, tho, should it not be giving you the whatever-it-is you’re looking for. :(