• http://feisty.nu Nicolah

    Leta cracks me up. She has the right idea.

  • http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com/ Meredith

    Hilarious! My three-year-old does the same thing. Her version goes something like “Mommy my tummy hurts, that means I need chocolate.” She also does the dramatic clutch of the abdomen.

  • http://www.jenn.nu Jenn

    Poor Jon. Your anecdotes about him are hilarious. :)

  • Elaine in the UK

    Last night after dinner I ‘needed’ something chocolate-y for dessert. Husband went suddenly deaf. Adult (ish) son refused to cook up something (he’s usually the dessert chef).

    I had to go out to the local store – myself! No-one would go for me! – and buy chocolate ice-cream.

    So I sat and ate it – by myself!

    Do you think deliberate and malicious chocolate deprivation might be grounds for divorce? I think so! I think I’m gonna divorce them both!

  • Siobhan

    Ha! I used to pull that, although I was much more convincing. (Never got the chocolate though)

    Be glad she’s such an over actor, it’ll save you unnecessary sick days and doctor visits.

  • http://talesofmikkimoto.com/ Becky

    You mean eating chocolate won’t cure a stomach ache? Shit. No wonder I’m so fat.

  • http://www.outnumbered2to1.blogspot.com/ Outnumbered221

    I’m sending you snaps for feeding her and preventing family pandamonium. I may or may not have told my melting down children that, “We are going sit down as a family and we are going to be a happy family eating dinner so you do not do drugs when you are older.”
    I totally have to deal with the tween ‘tude and eye rolling fallout from that statement.

  • Susan

    But the talapia was good..

  • http://www.hootiefish.com Trasi

    Funny, my child (who is 5) has used the SAME LIE! Chocolate treaties to fix a “stomach ache”. Riiiiiiight. At least I am glad the lies are still easily detectable. There will come a day they won’t be!

  • http://bkimrey1.wordpress.com berit

    seriously, we just got done with a raging battle of stomach flu and although my youngest (3)couldn’t keep spit down, he always seemed to NEED a brownie, a cookie, a candy– of course, he lies like a well loved rug.
    my eldest (6)on the other hand– not so much on the lying. he just says- ‘hey, i want a treat’ and when i grill him about the obvious choice of leaving his green beans on his plate, he quickly rolls his eyes and informs me that ‘well, mom, brownies taste much better than green beans and you don’t want me to fill up on beans do you when there’s still brownies to eat? they go bad too’

  • http://www.ovolina.com Anita the Ovolina

    The last time I went to Italy to visit my parents with my kids they whined for everything except the chocolate that we could buy at the “bar”. I would say, let’s go to the park or whereve else and all they would respond is ‘cioccolata mommy’
    At least they got that word in Italian ..

  • http://www.doodlerooskie.blogspot.com Dodi

    LOL. I find it hilarious when they lie like that…when it’s so obvious and ridiculous. It does, however, frighten me when I realize they will get better about it. And it will NOT be funny.

  • http://dreamscountrygirl.blogpsot.com country girl

    i love that leta…and maybe you should give her the book of morman..

    i have never read it myself…but they have those info-mercials and they give them away FOR FREE. amazing.

  • http://www.dearesthusband.com Katie

    Oh the joys of the lying stage. It’s entertaining, if nothing else. And chocolate does fix everything… until you eat the whole bag.

  • http://prettypaisley.com/ Priya

    My three old has been trying to convince me that a popsicle can cure his strep throat.

  • http://www.notagranny.blogspot.com Trishk

    I love that kid!!

  • Joanie

    Eerily similar to the time my niece was over and cried (at bedtime none the less) “MY STOMACH HURTS FOR SOME CHOCOLATE MILLLLLKKKKK!” In all caps with extra L’s and K’s…

  • http://kimmersforlife.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/07/youre-invited-t.html#comments Kimmers

    Leta is such an adorably precocious little girl. I think I would’ve been biting back a little snicker.

    I’ve been thinking about trying those planks… now I may rethink!

  • http://www.secretstill.com/ Brad

    It’s those damn planks. I’ve ruined more good steak with my undying hope in those things that I care to mention. You’d have to soak them for a year to ever actually grill with them. With all the carcinogens in grilled foods it doesn’t matter in the end. Just once I’d like to have deliciously smoked cancer though.

  • Stephanie

    God I can’t wait to have kids. lol

  • Leeshka

    Here I am, thinking mine is the only kid that pulls that nonsense. Another personal fave “I can’t eat another bite. I’m SOOO full. I saved room for an ice cream cone, though!” Let me know when she hurls insults at you and then quickly tries to cover it by claiming that she was “Talking to the couch”. That couch, it’s a total asshole.

  • http://p10q.com tmharada

    i love capitalized italics. but anyway, if you think about it, most kids subconsciously would lie like that — not so much because it’s their fault, but because the subconscious is very good at experimenting / testing the limits of correlation.

    kids are often given ice cream (i browsed some of the comments briefly), chocolate, etc., whatever (for me it was mcdonalds — though i mean i ate those at other times, i was just so happy to eat a big mac when i was a kid…still would be probably) when they are sick. so intuitively they would think that if they can show that they’re sick, then they will be given ice cream, etc. this intuition is so strong it knocks out malcolm gladwell (and the rationalization that it’s a little fishy to suddenly appear sick in time for dessert).

  • http://www.flowergirlphx.wordpress.com flowergirlphx

    I feel as if I have awakened from an eight year coma…how could I NOT have known about you before??? Your writing is hysterical and relate-able!

    I have used those planks for grilling with nearly the same results…and dessert fixes a tummy ache every time no matter what your age!!

    And your story “…next dog will be a sea monkey” made me laugh so hard I cried since I just took my dog Rosie to the vet yesterday and had the same Coco response. She had been there twice before this year…once covered in cactus spines and once to have an abscessed anal gland fixed…her memory was sharp and immediate the moment we pulled into the driveway and she whined from then until we got back into the car. She is a Pit Bull…and she didn’t feel one ounce of embarrassment for her breed…

  • Adaire

    That was hilarious. My own 4 year old just asked me why I was laughing.

  • http://www.twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/ Emily

    Oh, mine’s doing that right now…and she’s 8. She’s claiming that her throat hurts and the only things that make it feel better are chocolate and water.

    I tell her to go grab a bottle of water.

    She should never give me choices!

  • http://velvetlava.blogspot.com/ Ann

    SO weird! WHERE does she get that from?

  • Shannon

    When my son was almost 3 he referred to his new baby sister as “that freakin’ poopin’ freakin’ baby”-quite an astute observation, I thought.

  • http://gregandlori.com Lori

    Greg says thanks for the 20% increase in our grocery bill now that I’m totally turned onto hormone free and antibiotic free meat and chicken. LOVING IT! Thanks for making me think outside of my Midwestern box.

    Sara named her latest stuffed animal (a hideously bright dog) D.D. Today I finally asked her what D.D. stood for. Dumb Dog. No more “Annie” for her.

    When Sara asks for medicine, she usually means a lollipop. It’s cheaper than Tylenol, so Amen.

    Thanks for the laughs, Lori

  • Shelly

    personally….I would have clapped..and handed her chocolate …like she was getting an academy award!!!

    this could be why my daughter is such a drama queen!

  • gretchen

    My husband had the brilliant idea to grill a Papa Murphy’s Take and Bake pizza. I asked if it should be taken off the paper tray first, and he said no, becaise he lined the grill with aluminum foil. It would be fine and delicious!

    Uncooked pizza CAN catch on fire.

    It was pretty spectacular.

  • t
  • http://www.betseybooms.blogspot.com Betsey Booms

    Funny, when I was a kid – not going to school was the only thing that would help my tummy.

  • http://www.sensiblysassy.blogspot.com Sarah

    Leta is so awesome. Ican’t wait till she has a blog too!

  • http://confuseddildo.blogspot.com Katy

    Jaysus, my steps do that ALL OF THE TIME. The girl is the worst, because she will work her way to tears.

    I also love it when they are too full to finish their dinner, but then take off for the candy jar as soon as they are excused.

    I don’t think so, chilluns. You shit out of luck.

    I am the wicked step mothers.

  • http://hihorosie.blogspot.com hihorosie

    I’m so going to try this technique! I’m sure it’ll work like a charm coming from an adult.

  • http://www.marriageconfessions.wordpress.com Katie

    As a grown adult, I can attest to a piece of chocolate cake fixing every known ailment. I defend Leta.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the info!

  • nicky

    Good Thinkin!

  • http://schumanator.blogspot.com/ Schumanator

    Yeah but like, there are loopholes.

  • http://www.chronicchicktalk.com chronic chick

    Kids say the darnest things. Sometimes they see how mom’s crave choclate and they think it will be a cure all, but it doesn’t always work that way… LOL, if only they knew. Or is that they would rather have junk then real food, whatever that’s suppose to be- Ha Ha.

  • http://www.winegiques.com suenarita

    The cedar planks are great – soak in water for an hour and make sure your coals are hot and grey but without flame (for the most part). We use a Big Green Egg which is the best BBQ in the entire cooking world – fast to light (without chemicals) and very hot – plus the flame is not so close to the grill itself.
    The fish should not take a long time – and is so fabulous.

    I think it’s great when kids say they don’t like something (after they’ve eaten a ton of it) because they think they need to eat everything on their plates.

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    Hubby forgot to soak the planks, huh? Yeah, mine’s been there- done that- got the eyebrows singed off to prove it.

  • http://www.vintagechildrensbooksmykidloves.com Vintage Kids’ Books My Kid Loves

    We reserve the cedar planks for salmon, but the chocolate tummy ploy, you’ll probably be dealing with that little trick for a while. Awesome.

  • http://hdailyp.blogspot.com/ Aloha

    Kids what are you gonna do?

  • http://www.missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com Missives From Suburbia

    Hmm… I don’t know. I think God understands the fabulous nature of chocolate and would forgive lying for it. Although it’s possible that I’m only saying that in hopes that it’s true for the sake of my own soul.

  • http://retardedinlove.com Michelle

    Well, now, it’s not her fault she’s got intelligent parents. I’m pretty confident that would’ve fooled my own.

  • Coelacanth

    Thing about the cedar planks… forget the expensive designer ones, they’re too thick. You have to cook the fish for an hour, and it’s dry.

    However! $8 will buy you a package of 50 or so untreated cedar shingles – Home Depot sells them as shims – and they work much better. Soak ‘em for about 10 minutes, oil them, put seasoned fish on, and throw them on the grill at medium heat. Easiest thing you can cook. Williams-Sonoma “Potlatch seasoning” makes a great topping.

    My 3.9 year old loves cedar plank salmon, although not with the seasoning. And somewhere, he has gained the long lost knowledge that gummi bears are a foolproof cure for tummy aches. He does the whole act, just as you described.

  • http://edennoel2.blogspot.com enoel

    Just wanted to tell you thanks for being honest and open in your writing. I appreciate that about your work and it has been influencing my own writing a lot lately.

    Mostly, I just appreciate laughing out loud when I’m reading.


  • http://www.fourgreensandashadow.blogspot.com M.Green

    Chocolate does make everything better – even if it’s just in your head. I love Target AND your blog!

  • http://www.pushingthebuggy.blogspot.com Shannon Cdn

    1. Didn’t you know…Cedar planks are for lighting on fire, throwing on the lawn and cooking your food over the burning flames…Love the story.

    2. Chocolate can save a starving 5 year old… I’m sure I read that somewhere.

    From my son I hear, well…I had something good to eat…now can I have…(fill in the blank with whatever discussing gummy bear, worm confection out there) PLEASE, PLEASE PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE>

    3. Kids….who’s idea was this anyway.