• winewife

    I used to be a hygienist before I decided that staying home with the children was WAY more fulfilling. I took my daughter in to have her teeth cleaned on Tuesday (not by me). My daughter has never felt fear in any situation in her life (so unlike Mommy) and every person is just a friend she hasn’t met yet. She thought getting her teeth cleaned was winning the lottery and no princess toothbrushes were required, although she thought the little pink hourglass for timing brushing was AMAZING! That night going to bed I asked her what her favorite part of the day was and, at first, she said, “Getting my teeth cleaned”. Then she paused and said, “No, EVERYTHING is my favorite!” I would give alot to have a piece of that mindset…

  • http://starshinereport.blogspot.com Starshine

    Hooray for breakthroughs! Yea, Leta!

  • http://www.lulusaysit.com/ Julie

    I hate the fucking dentist.

  • jiru

    Yeah, Leta! That’s awesome. I’m so proud of your brave girl. My kiddo thinks the treasure chest full of plastic crap and stickers she gets to choose from after the cleaning is the most wonderful thing ever.

  • http://www.mylucidreality.com Claudious

    I love that tactic for getting her to brush her teeth, I’m going to have to try that with mine.

    I wonder if princess toilet paper will help me potty train, while I’m at it, a princess mop and bucket might not be too much to ask for also.

    Do they sell working princess vaccums?

  • Christy Wood

    Leta reminds me so much of my daughter, who is almost three. I’ve been following this blog for a couple of years now and it’s like I get a free preview of what I am about to go through.

    We’ve already gone through the appointment where the dentist was all, “ummm…maybe she doesn’t need her teeth cleaned,” then ran as fast as she could away from us. This gives me hope that when my daughter is ready, she will allow her teeth to be cleaned.

    And I was very teared up at the part where she was asking to go to bed at 5:30 so she could brush her teeth.

    Congrats on a successful visit!

  • Joe

    It is such a great day when you see your child make such an advance. What a great post Heather.

  • http://feathermaye.blogspot.com feathermaye

    Hysterically funny.

    Somehow I’ve managed to go all this time without knowing what a dooce was. I’m am now forever enlightened and will be back for more!

  • http://www.eventfullyyoursblog.com Kandice

    Ahh, the power of fancy toothbrushes. I bribe my kids into brushing by buying them tooth tunes that play their favorite disney channel stars while they brush. It works great!

  • Jaime

    Shouldn’t that title be “Leta Shop of Horrors”?

  • #99

    I think we all need t-shirts that say….

    “Do you Dooce?”

    I’m totally, shamelessly addicted and talk to my family about you all like I know you–like I’ve been to your house, scratched behind Chuck’s ears, twirled Leta around in her tunic dress, and helped Jon drain the edamame.

    Thanks for making the world a little brighter.

    I Dooce. I surely do!

  • http://scrappinjenny.blogspot.com Jennifer

    I am so asking for a chocolate pony that shits M&M’s for Christmas.

  • http://www.lepetptpouletnew.blogspot.com Susan

    I LOVE this story!!! It made me smile at the end. And the rest make me nod my head in sympathy as I have two little girls that I’ve had to drag to the dentist and the dread each time the appt arrives is horrendous!

  • http://fiveblondes.com Micaela

    We must be opposites because one morning I woke up at my house in the country, 30 minutes away from downtown, where I’d been the night before, wearing only pants and one sock with no memory of the previous night. How I got back there is still one of the great mysteries of my life.
    Then again, I’m not wearing pants right now so maybe we’re not complete opposites.

  • http://dijea.blogspot.com Dijea

    OMG, I wish there was a magic transformer/spongebob or something toothbrush that would get my boys that excited about brushing their teeth. We are all terrified of the evil doctor of teeth. My dentist prescribes me xanax just to get me in the door and is usually nice enough to gas me during the experience too.

  • Bibi

    I am in agreement with Julie, #140. Nicely put.

    We took the “it’s got to be done” business-like approach with our daughter when she began getting her teeth cleaned. She went to our dentist – no balloons, no treasure chest of treats – just go in and get it done.

    This was fine, until my daughter needed to have a cavity filled. I had mistakenly scheduled a pediatrician appointment the day before (where she received a vaccination booster), so when the dentist came at her with the injection prior to doing any work, well…let’s just say we were given a referral to a pediatric dentist.

    Power to the swag!

  • http://www.fussy.org Mrs. Kennedy

    “Chocolate pony that shits M&Ms”?! Well done, madam.

  • Bibi

    Oh, and one more thing – because I just saw the ‘Daily Chuck’ and had to comment on the love.

    The sweetness of the photo and the pull on the heart strings that comes from seeing a child sick aside (although my 11-year old is sick today with the stomach flu and reinacting the same pose, only with Spooky the cat), that couch and blanket look wicked comfy! The couch looks like it as soft as the blanket. Sheesh! Why’d I let my husband talk me into getting leather?

  • piglet

    if i say this was funny, you’ll believe me right? you won’t think “yeah, that’s what a billion other people said”? you two made a beautiful baby.

    i took my son from a very early age with me to almost every dentist appt in the hope that he would not be afraid when his time came. he was afraid, but once they started complimenting him, he became ten feet tall and bulletproof, later bragging to his friends about how EASY the dentist is.

  • http://teacherjen.blogspot.com Jen

    Ugh! I’ve been anticipating the Thom Yorke close-up and the moments after where I keel over and die of jealousy.

    Way to go, Leta-here’s to dental hygiene!

  • http://www.papatv.com/ Karen where you B?

    For so long I had it easy. Karen did my dental work. I never cried once.
    Yesterday I got a call. “We’ve had some restructuring at the office Karen is no longer –”
    I dropped the phone. And cried like a big fat baby.

  • http://bluestalking.typepad.com Bluestalking Reader

    Heather, you write beautifully all the time but this post is particularly wonderful. In fact, it’s darn near perfect.

    You and Jon are exceptional parents. You truly are. Tell those buttheads who give you a hard time that I said that. Because that will totally shut them up.

  • http://www.xanga.com/Bratfink Brat

    Oh, how you make me laugh and cry!

    Thanks for that. :)

  • http://blog.shanparker.com Shan!

    My mom always bribed me with Dairy Queen or Taco Bell. Got me through it every time!

  • http://steechez.blogspot.com/ slub

    Leta hasn’t gotten the word about the Bippitty Boppitty Boutique in downtown Disney has she?? lol

  • http://spukageandstuff.blogspot.com Nicola

    Haven’t read all the other comments but your new threat to Leta should be:-

    Do “Insert whatever you want her to do here” or else I am giving your Disney Princess Toothbrush to Coco.

    She will be your tiny human slave . . .

  • Peter Parent

    Oh my goodness…

    Thanks for introducing me to the act ‘Stars.’ They take me back to the advent of the whole ‘New Wave’ thingy. I (at the advanced age of 49) am always looking for an advanced take on whatever (emo or otherwise) new music comes out. Also, I love your blog.. You make every day personal and fresh. Keep on keepin’ on Heather.

  • SuZieQ

    Where can I get me one of those QUEEN toothbrushes?? I must have one..

    …and also the pony!!

  • Kathie

    I too loathed the dentist, until I came across my current provider. She is a goddess. Her practice is made up of all women – cute, perky, swift and competent technicians dressed in variations on white lab coats (none of those hideous purple Hello Kitty knock-off scrubs) and wielding cozy chenille throws and cutting-edge personal sound equipment. The best part is the adult equivalent of the princess toothbrush – at the end, if I’ve been a good patient, I get to dip my hands into a warm vat of lavender infused parafin wax. H-e-a-v-e-n.

  • http://www.kate.net/ Kate

    I’d say count yourself lucky. Our 3-year-old freaks out when *we* try to brush her teeth (we let her start out and then have to help her actually brush the teeth after she’s done with her part). She wouldn’t sit still for the dentist — not for all the princess toothbrushes in China. And that’s where they come from.

  • http://smilingbeguiling.blogspot.com Cheryl

    I adore the dentist (yes, I’m weird like that), but I swear it’s because I had the BEST pediatric dentist in the universe when I was a kid in the 70′s, Dr. Edison Beebe, he had a HUGE bookcase in the lobby filled to the brim w/ toys and stickers, etc. and when you were done getting your teeth cleaned, you got to pick whatever you wanted (only ONE thing though of course, this was way before the years of bratty children taking handfuls of stuff and their parents letting them). Anyway, I digress. Suffice to say, my daughter Declan, who turned two in June hasn’t yet been to the dentist. I’m told it’s too soon. But I’m so afraid she won’t like it.

    Crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes that she’ll behave herself just like your sweet and darling girl child. I guess I can at least console myself that at present, she loves to brush her teeth w/ her princess toothbrush (yes, she has a princess toothbrush – against my better Tom Boy judgment).


    C ~(@jasperblu)

  • SuZieQ

    Laughing so at the post I forgot to check out photos..Just remembered…picture of Chuck and Leta proves that my undying and obsessive love for dogs is absolutely justified!!

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    “Just go ahead and send her to the Celestial Kingdom and give her her own planet, why don’t you?”

    Oh Heather, your amusingly mocking remarks are the best!

  • http://chellebox.com Michelle and Eliza

    Me and my daughter just read this post and were rolling with laughter. Seriously, we couldn’t stop laughing, and we were literally rolling around the room on the floor. Carpet burns. Okay, seriously, totally a situation we know about. I don’t think we ever had princess toothbrushes, for us it was the strawberry shortcake toothpaste that was necessary for survival.

  • Kate

    I’m listening to Elevator Love Letter and looove it. I think you should create a Dooce Soundtrack so we, the musically underprivileged, and get a taste of your taste (which I’m coming to love). Even if you just list the songs. Or you could strike a deal with iTunes to sell the compilation and make the big bucks.

    Just a thought :)

    Congrats on dental success!

  • Cora’s Mom

    I just took my 4 year old to the dentist for her first cleaning too. She was all brave until it was time to open her mouth and she started crying. And then she did just what Leta did. Cora got a pink Spongebob toothbrush. You would have thought she won the lottery.

  • http://lizspangler.blogspot.com Spangles

    This brought me back to my childhood years going to the dentist. And oh man, did I ever love getting a new toothbrush AND stickers. Sometimes even some kind of cheeseball vending-machine-esque toy. Those were the days.

  • http://www.gorkyrises.com gorky

    The only way I made it through the heavy excavation of my childhood years was the “sweet gas”. Without nitrous oxide, you can be sure that my teeth would have fallen out. Now, dentists don’t even use it. Not even a whipcream can around on standby!

    I’m glad I grew up in the time of drugs. So is my dentist.

  • Erica

    I have a 6 yr old son and a 3 yr old daughter. Somewhere along the line in our crazy life, my son got it in his head that I coveted my daughter’s princess toothbrush. So he conspired with his grandma, and he got me my OWN princess toothbrush for my next birthday. It was the sweetest thing ever. You bet your ass I brushed my teeth with that thing every chance I got.

  • http://meywal.byethost13.com yobel

    I have to go to the dentist in a couple of weeks…I hope I get a princess toothbrush. Although I’m sure I won’t deserve one. please visit to my blog

  • http://emmanicole.org Emma

    Oh that’s too funny. I hate the dentist but a princess toothbrush would be a nice incentive. =) I’m probably way too late on this but Coco is adorable. I’ve had 2 Australian shepherds and they’re crazy!

  • http://geezlouize.com Heather

    The last time I took Miss Diva to the dentist she thought she was going to “die”. It took me, the hygentist, and the dentist an hour to get her calm down enough to let him pull a tooth that really needed to come out. Now, four months later she doesn’t remember the hour of begging, just the pink toothbrush, pink timer, pink floss, and princess sticker she got as a reward. But I must add the first item of clothing to come off for me is not the pants, but the dreaded “bra”!

  • http://www.lilja.no Stellare

    You should be able to appreciate this. For when then horror continues…

    Michael Phelps and the egg.

  • http://www.realstylrealpeople.com Real Style Real People

    I liked reading this- it reminded me of my recent trip to the dentist with my four year old!!!!

  • moondoggie

    Our family was military, so we got military dentists most of the time–they used me to ‘practice’ on, I’m sure, as my teeth are mostly crown$ now but my gums are perfect, and I’ll never need dentures.

    Our ‘hometown’ dentist didn’t give out stickers or toothbrushes–he gave out whistle lollipops, thus guaranteeing him our repeat business. And my sister and I fell for it, of course…

  • http://conversationswithamuse.blogspot.com Leigh

    I love your shit. You can tell we came from the same region…well, region/school/frickin’ volleyball team.

    My son goes to a pediatric dental office. You should check out Dr. Brad in Memphis. Seriously, if you travel and are in emergency need of a cleaning–he’s your man. Ask for Daphne.

    They have tv’s at every chair, playing Princess movies and robot movies, and some others by request. The lights overhead are draped with stuffed animals, and they give each kid a pair of princess/robot/superhero toothbrush. It’s a gd dental theme-park.

    E goes in there, gathers a crowd, and sings his very perfect version of the Smokey and the Bandit song. It’s quite the spectacle.

  • http://conversationswithamuse.blogspot.com Leigh

    I love your shit. You can tell we came from the same region…well, region/school/frickin’ volleyball team.

    My son goes to a pediatric dental office. You should check out Dr. Brad in Memphis. Seriously, if you travel and are in emergency need of a cleaning–he’s your man. Ask for Daphne.

    They have tv’s at every chair, playing Princess movies and robot movies, and some others by request. The lights overhead are draped with stuffed animals, and they give each kid a pair of princess/robot/superhero sunglasses. It’s a gd dental theme-park.

    E goes in there, gathers a crowd, and sings his very perfect version of the Smokey and the Bandit song. It’s quite the spectacle.

  • http://mandyconforth.blogspot.com/ mandy

    That horse / M&M thing would totally work at my house.

    Our ped. dentist shows movies, has MP3 players w/ kid music, video games to play while they’re cleaning, sunglasses so the light doesn’t bug you, & candy flavored rubber gloves.

    I’m slightly jealous.

  • J. Bo

    I was ten years old before I realized that other kids’ moms didn’t give them their vaccinations (my mom and three aunts were nurses and half my uncles were doctors; now I’m surrounded by cousins who are doctors/nurses/lab techs… such family dinner conversations you DON’T want to hear). Consequently, visits to medical/dental offices were no big deal to me– it usually involved family or people I thought of as family. Seeing the doctor/dentist was just what you DO… like flushing; it’s normal and expected.

    Then again, in MY household, “playing doctor” meant washing up for dinner with PhisoHex and a fine nail brush, so I realize I’m really no one to judge…

  • Anonymous

    dental visits- wow – my daughter has had no issues yet- she is still loving her dental visits but she is having issues with shots at the pediatrician now that she knows they hurt and knows when the doc is giving them.