You best get that baby some chips.

And I secretly LOVE maternity pants. Feels so good when you stop trying to make it work with the skinny jeans. Or even the non-pregnant non-skinny jeans.

I know you are using that fancy camera! We want to see pics!

Er, of the bump, not the barf.

Wow, I never thought I would feel so good about my fertility issues, but then you start talking about the puking, and I am feeling kind of grateful! This adoption process is looking better than ever...

OMH thank you so much for explaining the fasting thing. I finally understand how Spaghetti Factory stays in business.

I loved being pregnant when I wasn't puking and I puked ALL the fucking time.
Baby cheeks Nom Nom Nom was my mantra. :)
Hang in there.

I can sympathize, sporting two of the most revolting side effects of pregnancy during my own bout: a single, recurrent, coal black chin hair and chest acne.

I felt like a cross between a billy goat and a teenaged steroid abuser.

Hooray pregnancy!

Yep, hated it too. And nobody ever accused me of "glowing." Not once!

Oh, the glamour! You don't want my advice and helpful tips and tricks to help you through it, you'll have enough of that. maybe something will work, or at least distract you enough to forget how lousy you feel for a while.. the only way to cure what ails you is to pop that little pooper out, then the really glamorous part can begin! Good luck... and I can't help it... grapefruit soda! If the resounding burps that this causes don't make you feel better, at least you can enjoy the horror on the faces of those who surround you.

I love your guts. Thank you for telling it exactly like it is. I'm printing this and taking it home to my husband so he will understand that when I say I need chips I mean *NOW*. And I'm not just being crazy - I'm just being pregnant. I hope your morning sickness (and mine!) are overwith soon.

I feel ya. My first trimester will be coming to a close in two weeks, and I'm hoping and praying that I will wake up one morning that week free of the constant nausea and fatigue. I feel like I ran a marathon, and then drove up and down a mountain on a very windy road riding in the backseat. Now excuse me as I need to send my hubby to get me a cherry slurpee and some bbq fritos!

I think you might have confirmed that my husband and I don't want kids!!! OMG! ;) Good luck with the remaining months and I can't wait to read more about your pregnancy!

Ew, a nine month hangover absent of booze? That kid better be born holding a bouquet of flowers and a hotdog.

Haha! Thats supposed to say not to drink!!

My kid is 10 weeks old. During the painful sleepless lost feelings of post-partum, my one source of joy was reminding myself that I wasn't pregnant anymore! I don't look forward to being pregnant again, or doing the first 8 weeks of newborn-life again, but I do want another kid. So I totally feel you on this.

Um, 10 weeks here, and salt and vinegar chips? TOTALLY VITAL. They should put that on all those damn pregnancy websites, in big letters, on the front page.

Personally, I prefer naughty newborn to pregnancy. That's just me.

It's a boy! Exactly how I was with my 1 and only boy. Eat crackers & water in the morning, 1st thing. I felt motion sick until the 7th month & also couldn't stand being outside in the heat, but I uh guess you won't have to worry about that...Cheers to better days.

For me the worst was when I puked in my neighbor's yard while taking my dog out for his morning walk. Without warning the puke just came up, and out it went. All in my neighbor's yard. With him standing on his front porch watching.

But then the 2nd trimester came and life was beautiful! Congratulations!

Oh dear GOD I hated being pregnant! One word for you: Diclectin. Saved my sanity. Ask your doc.

From a woman who is 15 weeks pregnant:

Thank you - I also have NOT enjoyed being pregnant so far, and yes, it does make me feel disenfranchised. No one wants to hear that I feel awful - they want the glowy, wonderful pregnancy stories! So far, I have none.

I am excited and hopeful for the baby, but nothing could make me like this feeling of having a chronic illness for weeks on end, with no treatment.

And I'm tired of people implying that I should be grateful for feeling like crap all the time. Because I'm lucky to be pregnant, and should be reveling in it, whatever it brings! Bah. They have no idea.

thank you! me and pregnancy didn't get along either but i have my first little boy - 3 months old and he's pretty great. not back to the "same old" body yet and don't think i'm gonna be. alternate between seriously not caring at all and obsessively trying to pull on old t-shirts. hmmm...

Hand jobs? Better yet: make love to a burrito!

I don't know if they will prescribe these pills for you, but when my mom was sick they gave her anti-nausea pills that were little pills of god's love. I was pukey one time and she gave me one of the less potent pills (there are many strengths from what I understand) and it was the most amazing thing ever, I swear every time I feel nauseous I wish and pray for one of those pills. They also make them so they dissolve in your mouth so you won't throw them up. They are pricey, but so worth it.

This is how it went with my two pregnancies. But beware. My first was 5 lbs. 15 oz. The second was almost 9 lbs!! I'm 5'3, 105 lbs. NINE POUNDS. Line up the epidural now. I'm just sayin'.

cj

If that doesn't make the birth control pill go down easier, I don't know what does. My empty uterus thanks you.

It's a boy!?!

Oh shit...and I want more kids? I wish this entry was written earlier, before I DTD during ovulation! Hahahahaa

It appears that I'm pregnant with my first baby and am 2 weeks behind you. I'm loving these posts.

Sister, I relate.

I hated being pregnant. I had twins so everything was times two. Double the sickness, double the bloat, double the gut.
I will never put myself through that again.

The reason I loved being pregnant is because I didn't suffer any of the yucky-ness you're going through, you poor thing. Giving birth and infants through toddlers sucked ass sometimes, but being pregnant was not horrible. I wonder why it is that it's so different for so many people? Just be glad you're not Mrs. Dugger, 17 & counting. More like 17 and my automatic weapon is loaded and ready if you come near me one more time Mr Dugger!

I am thrilled for you and wish you a safe pregnancy.

I have a three-month-old daughter whom I love with all my heart. AND, I hated being pregnant so much that I may never have another baby. It sucks ass. I wish you as much comfort as one can attain in your condition!

Okay, I didn't like being prego either. But I'm a surfer and the 1st prego I surfed til I was 5 mos. The second prego I surfed til I was 4 mos along. This was the worst part for me. The next worse thing was what happened to my body. FAT fat Fat. And people would say, "you're not fat you're pregnant." Right. I was pregnant and fat. I'm not going to go into numbers here, but at least the second prego I gained 20 pounds less than the 1st prego. The thing about kids is pregnancy is the easy part. And now I have to beautiful children that drive me crazy and I absolutely love it, especially since I can go surfing.

Gah Heather, do I ever feel your pain. I'm four months along with my first baby and I have been miserable since around week six. I think the women who say they enjoy this are damn liars. I can't wait until I can plan a meal without first considering what will taste the best coming back up, and I no longer consider eating out 'renting my food'. Best of luck.

In theory, pregnacy is beautiful. When you're gagging on your toothbrush and puking in the sink? Not so much. Be Well!

First, let me say Congratulations! Regarding this post though... I hear you. I hated being pregnant, and I had easy pregnancies, I never puked through either one... but I felt like I was going to for months. Then was the horrid heartburn... oh, sorry, I digress. My babies I loved, my pregnancies... not so much!

Oh, I totally could have written this post. Except much less eloquently and without the Mormon part. I'm 14 weeks with my first and I hate being pregnant. Thus far anyway. Grateful, blessed, yes, but hate that I can eat nothing but pizza and spaghetti and have gained enough weight in the first trimester to last me almost an entire pregnancy. But, you know, when all you eat is pizza and/or spaghetti and you completely stop exercising (I ran a half marathon immediately before the pregnancy...actually I was one week along and didn't know it yet...so it's killing me not to be able to run or even walk up stairs) or doing any unnecessary movement, that's what happens. You gain weight.
In your ass.

So I totally sympathize. Hope yours gets better. I have been told for the past 8 weeks that mine would go away after the first trimester and here I am at 14 weeks and change and still hurling like a champion and just plain nauseated the rest of the day.

Good luck! I hear the end result is worth it. We'll see. ;-)

I feel for you. During both of my pregnancies I felt like I'd been mowed down by a truck the entire time. But then preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome will do that to a person.

Don't let the glowers get you down! Hope your pregnancy is long (full-term) and healthy.

I'm not even kidding that when I started to read about your nausea and throwing up, I heard my dog start making those horrible heaving noises and then that gaaacckk noise as he threw up. Sympathy pains anyone??

Hope you feel better soon.

I had a bag of salt and vinegar chips once a week while I was pregnant with my son and HE TURNED OUT JUST FINE.

I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. I remember those days. I have three sons, the youngest just turned three. I kept thinking I'd have ONE *easy* pregnancy and we'd have ONE *easy* baby/toddler... didn't happen. We've caught our limit, but I wouldn't throw any of em' back.

Hang in there. I won't say "enjoy it". That would be patronizing and stupid. Take care of yourself.

Wow, they should have you speak to groups of at-risk teens. I'm 26 and married and that still made me think twice about EVER wanting kids. You are a brave woman.

I wish I could say I can relate, but unfortunately, I never had one teeny tiny bit of morning (all day) sickness. You might think that's a good thing, but for me, I could have used a bit of daily nausea - because I had your same experience with food - it was heaven. I had to feed that baby inside me, and feed it a lot. And when you're not puking that back up?

80 pounds of baby weight is hard to lose. 3 years later I'm still fighting it.

I hope it passes for you quickly - just think of the precious bundle of poops that is to come!

And I concur with the requests for the belly shots - I started that with my pregnancy because of you, woman! BELLY SHOTS!!! Let's see that bump!

Week 14, when do I get to bloom again? Or does the term "bloom" actually refer to acne where there used to be milky smooth skin...

I know that there are many, many women out there with fertility issues who are offended by pregnant women complaints, but I think we should be allowed to complain! Pregnancy sucks! It's the end result we're after...not the feeling of being some strange science experiment. So, thank you for talking about the parts that are horrible! To all those women who LOVE being pregnant - lucky you! I am envious.

Pregnancy is like nine months of being PUNK'D.

And then you give birth, which is like 20 hours of a Japanese game show.

Congratulations, and sorry.

I so know what you mean - I DID NOT love being pregnant, the first time was not so bad, but my second - he killed pregancy for me. I was sick and miserable and depressed (enough that my doc and I were considering meds). My moods were all over the place and though it was a pregnancy I wanted more than anything, I also just wanted the alien out of my body. The worst is that people expect you to be glowing and happy - they expect you to feel great and overjoyed - and they do not understand why you do not.

Hang in there, it will be over soon enough!!! And then you will be complaining about the lack of sleep, the leaking boobs, the constant demands of two human beings... oh maibe I should just stop talking :-)

There are only two good days with pregnancy. the first day, and the last day. All the rest can suck my dick.

reminds me of the time(s) that just drinking a sip of water would make me hurl. and i'd drink it because if i didn't, i'd dry heave because my throat was dry. fun!

hang in there. and remember, this is all worth it to use as emotional blackmail later on.

LOL...I found your website a few days ago and eagerly await each new post. I am sorry for your *discomforts* but really enjoy the humor you put into it.
It brought back memories of my 2nd pregnancy when I had to have sardines w/mustard sauce for breakfast (only to throw them up for lunch) and Fruitloops with hoop cheese for supper each night (generally stayed down thus leading to many lbs.) And no, I didn't end up with a multi-colored little mouse that smelled like mustard & fish after nine months although I was beginning to wonder.
Here's hoping you get over this phase of your pregnancy really soon and are able to start enjoying that wonderful little miracle in your body. :-)

~Leilani~

OH HELL! Do I ever feel your pain. I was so pathetically ill all the time with my second that I even became dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. Note: not fun. Do not recommend this option. I also never got the whole 'love pregnancy' thing. I felt huge, bloated, ill, uncomfortable, and generally icky most of the time. The end result does make it worth it however.

On the showing already? Brace yourself, it only gets worse. LOL

www.twistedbranchestoo.blogspot.com

Don't even get me started. I wanted to DIE during both my pregnancies. This is really why we should hang out...so we can bitch about being PG. I love complaining about how I threw up everyday for NINE WHOLE MONTHS. Have you craved Great Harvest cookies yet? -Em

I feel terrible for you. My guy and I had a little "accident" 2 nights ago and I've never felt better about the Plan B I took Sunday morning...

I totally agree! I was so misserable with both of my pregnancies. I really do not like being pregnant. Yes, there is that amazing feeling when the baby first starts to kick, and also seeing the baby on the ultrasound, but that's about it. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Oh, Huni I am with you! I hate, HATE being pregnant. The babies are cool, but not so the 40 weeks right before they hit the scene. I'm the first of my friends to have children, and I'm pretty sure they think I exaggerate when I tell them how sucky-suckalicious it is being pregnant. They'll see. Oh, those skinny little suckers will SEE!

I'm not even remotely pregnant and vinegar and salt chips call to me in my sleep. Yummy potato crack.

Ah! Yes. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant. No one tells you what kind of crap you have to deal with, seriously. I thought I was going to have perfect skin, I've never dealt with acne in my life and I thought I was going to get a heavenly glow. Who ever came up with that is a liar. I am pizza face. And I have heartburn eating my esophagus.

I love my baby though, she is the shiz. :)

Oh God...do I know how you feel??? It is horrible. I have not wanted to eat a single thing and any single thing I do eat comes straight back up but somehow, I am gaining weight! Where I wonder is that weight gain coming from?? It must be the large amounts of acid that have taken up residence in my throat. Pregnancy is awesome.

Hang in there, Heather. But keep on sharing your misery with all of us....your sense of humor is still alive and kicking. I still want to know if you did anything special to get preggers....besides having sex, of course.

My pregnancy was much the same at the beginning. I was starving, yet unable to eat. I still look at some foods that I dearly love and remember how they tasted laced with bile. I didn't like being pregnant much. It was cute when Ava first moved, but then she started trying to shove her toes into my lungs. It was cute when she got the hiccups the first time, but them it started to feel like my cervix was doing a tango. And I swear to God, that child used to poke me in weirdest places with her fingers. I also had preterm labor from 16 weeks on, and she wound up being born at thirty-six weeks and two days. I had almost constant contraction the last four weeks and I was in labor for three days, and my epidural did nothing end the end, so I felt everything including my surprise episiotomy. That said, the moment my finances allow, my husband and I can't wait to have another baby. And mine's only seven months. Congratulations and I hope your morning sickness goes away soon. :)

Yes, I couldn't relate to people who love being pregnant. Though I have been pregnant 7 times (two miscarriages and five live births) I have a sense of being ecstatic about the baby but also being out of control with pregnancy side effects.
But eventually it all passes and then we forget - sort of.

Dude. They should have had us read this in sex ed at my Catholic school instead of just telling us to wait until marriage. None of us would have actually waited, but we certainly would have thought twice.

Although to be fair to my health teacher, she did once show us a video about contraception - when we were SIXTEEN, and knew it all anyway, and only AFTER one of my classmates had a daughter.

I know squat about pregnancy, but hang in there! You've got a lot of people thinking of you.

Hate.being.pregnant.too.

I actually became more pro-choice after being pregnant than I was before. I felt as though an alien being had inhabited my body and taken over everything (not the least of which was my waistline-quickly-with baby #2). Hopefully you'll get into the great babymoon period of the 2nd trimester shortly before things really go bad in the 3rd. But, the baby will be all worth it, right? Or, at least in a couple of years...

i was showing at 3 months, too- twins! surprise, surprise!

As a disgruntled Mormon myself, I almost peed my pants in the second paragraph! Yep, you've been there done that too!

You are Hilarious!

I'm having not very happy flashbacks here. I still can't forget and it is now 13 1/2 years since I last had morning sickness!

Two suggestions that made a big difference for me: one: Multi-B vitamin injections (the B6 is especially helpful) and massage/reflexology. I know, how can pushing pressure points on your feet help? No idea how it works, but when I went instead of vomiting 3x per day with constant nausea, I would have no nausea for 1-1.5 days (Heaven!) and no vomiting for two days.

I also did not realize at the time that I was gluten-sensitive/celiac. You have mentioned trying gluten-free before - if you are sensitive staying completely off will make you feel better in a couple of weeks (takes 4-6 weeks for your gut to heal).

Hope you feel better soon.

I read about your pregnancy with Leta as it was happening. I'm happy that my bf already has a son because I'm convinced that one day if I have a kid I will not want to do it twice. I thank your blog for that.

I love your raw honesty. You've made it ok for women to admit that being pregnant is not all cuddly cuteness. Before the baby comes anyway!

You know what I can't eat since being pregnant? Chocolate milk and red licorice Nibs. Ever since I threw them up at a movie theatre in my second trimester I haven't been able to touch them since. I was sick for 9 months with both my kids, I feel your pain. Kentucky Fried Chicken always goes down nicely though....

Um, oh yeah. I am totally gobsmacked to be pregnant myself again, after two years of trying that yielded nothing but let-downs. I'm now spending an average of 20 hours a day trying not to breathe too hard for fear that it'll make me throw up, and the other four hours wondering what the crap I was thinking for those two years. It is so as bad as the first time.

but growing a baby: PRICELESS!

(I feel for you and totally get what you are saying .. it's horrible .. maybe you should call ..hmm, what is her name Mrs. Duggar .. you know, the lady with 18 children and counting!! )

Women who claim they LOVE being pregnant are LYING. There is no way they love the way the alien growing inside of them is making them feel, cause its not good!

Oh, yay, the Heather complaining about pregnancy posts have begun!! I've so been waiting for these, and I'm not even being sarcastic.

Ok, second pregnancy...personally was as much unfun as one person can have growing another. My deal was my hip...both my girls were transverse for the majority of my pregnancies, so either a head wedged on my right pelvic girdle or a foot lodged there. I had sciatica so bad for both I literally would scream outloud, uncontrollably, upon taking the slightest step. I remember getting trapped in my backyard in Memphis, during a unsually cold day, while trying to put something in our outside storage building and having to scream for my husband...anyone to come help me.

Nausea? Nope. I bypassed that morning sickness thing, only, with my second to get two HORRIBLE bouts of either food poisoning or a stomach bug that I had to be hospitalized...there was loss of bowel control, ok. Second time sent me into preterm labor from dehydration. Nothing as much fun as being so pregnant you can't even bend and trying to hurl for hours on end while having total loss of your bowels! I was so spent before the baby was born all I remember is thinking that just needed to be drugged and woken up when she was three months old.

Seriously, I got to have phenegran when I was sick like that. I've never ever been so glad to have a drug in my life. I was there, suffering misery like no other and they said I could have an IV drip. One second misery and then black...I slept in the hospital, for the first time in weeks and weeks in my third trimester. It was heaven. I seriously did NOT want to leave. I was hoping I'd start puking again just so I could stay.

But they sent me home. I had the baby and all was unpleasant for about six weeks...there was screaming and cussing at husband, baby and older child and much ranting about how stupid I'd been to even consider going through that hell again.

Of course, now, all a faded (somewhat) memory and I'm jealous of your morning sickness (hubby is snipped so we're done). Considering the fun of a nearly seven year old who is addicted to iCarly and Jake and Josh on Disney and says "whatever" as skillfully as any 17 year old, and a nearly four year old who puts her hands on her hips and yells at me when I don't get her the right sippy cup...a nice, docile newborn would be just my cup o tea right about now. Believe me, the newborn thing will seem like a walk in a field full of roses and fuzzy bunnies compared with the older sibling attitude you're gonna be faced with. My oldest is still so horribly jealous of her younger sister she asked me just today, "Does she have to come home right now?" when I told her I was going to get her sister at preschool.

I hate you feel so awful, but second trimester was always great for me...normalacy and energy return until you start the wonderful heartburn that makes you wanna die, LOL.

Hang in there Heather!

Just chiming in on the fly here--sorry if I'm redundant, as I haven't had time yet to read the other comments tonight...suffice it to say, what you're experiencing is totally normal for a second pregnancy...it honestly will get better, I promise. It was the same way for me--things seemed earlier and more intense all the way around the second time, from the nausea to the weight gain to showing to feeling exhausted. It all smoothed out by the second trimester.

I hope you feel much better soon...

I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that you are preggers. You were seriously insane during the election, to the point that I really didn't even want to read.. and I didn't for quite a while. Now, I realize, you were just experiencing pregnancy insanity! Thank goodness! I was seriously concerned.

Hmmm.. Bland/non-greasy food was helpful in helping me avoid the nausea. Try that and also eating several small meals per day, instead of the usual three regular meals.

I agree with the comment about not drinking any liquids with meals...that sloshy feeling just made my nausea worse. I have a 3 month old now who is so chubby and smiley... I thought he would never get here and I would be pregnant forever. Hang in there!

Ginger pops !!

You just described EXACTLY how I feel about being pregnant! That's why I only did it once. Hope it gets better soon!

I'm just starting my third trimester, and I'm thrilled/ecstatic about my little girl on the way - - - buuuuut, I'm with you completely. I DO NOT enjoy being pregnant. I don't get the people who love it either. I'm really tired of the feeling that this is not my body anymore. I don't think any woman should feel bad about admitting these very real feelings. It's a weird paradigm to be so happy to have this child and so over being pregnant all at the same time.

One of my best friends feels the same way about being pregnant. She told me the exact same thing you said - she feels like she has lost control of her body. She absolutely loves being a mom. But has silently suffered through all of her pregnancies. She has had four children and is an amazing mother.

And yes, GINGER. It may be hard to get a sliver of fresh ginger down, but oh. my. goodness. it works on the nausea. If you buy ginger snaps and ginger ale, make sure they actually have ginger in them. Maybe have Jon look at health food stores for the real stuff.

No advice on the acne. Sorry.

I keep you in my thoughts for continued healthy pregnancy and for a big, strong, healthy baby.

I cant wait till you start sharing pregnancy pics.....

congrats!!!!!

pat

do you know what the sex of the baby is? chances are it's a boy. for some reason everyone i know that's had both a boy and a girl always show early with the boys and barely at all with the girls. so odd.

Thanks for so perfectly writing about my thoughts on pregnancy... excited about a baby but hating losing control of my body.

I hate being pregnant too. I am 28 weeks pregnant with my third. I never ever want to be pregnant again. Three kids is way too many anyway.

I was hospitalized at 16 weeks when I hadn't kept anything down for 24 hours. I still feel nauseous sometimes.

My acne is awful too.

I have friends who can't get pregnant so I feel like I shouldn't complain but this pregnancy crap sucks.

Congrats! Heh.

This post is sad but wonderful at the same time. It is all part of the cycle. I can see you rolling your eyes!

Good luck for the rest of the term.

Try canned cling peaches in heavy syrup. They taste the same coming up. Good luck, Sweetie. We're all pulling for you!

Ohhhh, so painful! You poor thing; I so feel your anguish. I read this and it made me flash back to my pregnancies (4- yes, I'm insane) and the funky penny-like taste in my mouth that made me salivate so much I had to spit in a cup 18 hours a day.

Thank Christ for vasectomies.

Well Hell. Why is it that we are trying to get pregnant? No wine, getting fat, and also - no wine. Fuck this - I'm going celibate. Wait - I'm going HAND JOB.

I hope you start feeling better as soon as possible. Good luck with the remaining months!

I doubt you remember, but I wrote you an email once, and while commenting on your beautiful letters to Leta, I admitted that I totally did not want kids. Well, that must have been before I started reading Sweet Juniper and Laid off Dad along with your blog. One simply can't read all this awesome parenting bloggage without falling victim to it.

So, yeah, I'm pregnant. 5 months pregnant. And I am soooo with you about the 1st trimester! It BLOWS! The 2nd is much better, but I still wouldn't want to be pregnant for years.

I hope you feel better in the weeks to come!

I agree. I cannot relate to any woman who says being pregnant feels so great and wonderful. I, too, am grateful to be having a healthy pregnancy so far, but being pregnant bites.

Thank GOD for all those puking posts from 2004!!! Because that's what I would read on the weekends from July-October of this year, curled up on the bathroom floor crying because I wanted a baby but I didn't know how I could get through another day of puking. It was the 24-hour seasick-with-a-champagne-hangover curse. I couldn't even nibble Cheerios, I couldn't leave the house without plastic bags in the car and extra shirts, I just sucked on ice cubes and wished I was dead.

The worst was when I called my sister, who has a ten month old, to yell at her. "You never told me it was going to be like this!" Her reply? "Honey...how did you think I lost those ten pounds my first trimester? I DID tell you, you just didn't understand."

From Week 1 to Week 40 with both girls, I begged my husband to kill me. I don't know how I survived the flu for 80 weeks. What gene did those women get who "LOVE" being pregnant? Why didn't I get it? What is retribution for pre-marital hand jobs? Labor is a joke. 24 hours of hell as compared to 40 weeks of unrelenting nausea. I can do anything for a day.

Best of luck. Benadryl, Vitamin B6, refried beans on chips at 1 pm (the best advice I received from an OB...saved my life),

Lori
Mother of 2, and DONE with pregnancy

Starting to feel like the odd duck here but I did love being pregnant. Could be because my hormones are already F'd up in the first place so pregnancy was when I felt my best. I admit that I did not have hardly any morning sickness and feel so bad for those that do. Don't hate me - I developed pre-eclampsia and my son had 4 heart surgeries after he was born. I'd rather have barfed for 9 months than have a son with lifelong heart problems.

I think you start showing sooner as your abdominal muscles have already been stretched once. It doesn't mean you will get bigger.

I hope in a few weeks your stomach will give you a well-deserved break and that you start feeling those little butterflies of baby movement that can help you relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I envy you, your sickness and all.

You're not alone. I'm currently about four months pregnant, the 2nd time around, and although I'm past the worst of the nausea and exhaustion I still don't particularly enjoy being pregnant. It makes me feel like I'm missing out on some mother-earth thing. And like you, I'm showing so much earlier than I did before. At least this time I can look at my daughter and know that it's all worth it.

I suffer from chronic nausea (not because I'm pregnant; it's just a diabetic thing) and my doctor prescribed Zofran for me. It is a medication that is used on patients going through chemo. Also, it is safe for pregnant women because a friend of mine who is in her third trimester just started taking it and finally feels relief from all the nausea.
Another trick I've tried is using massagers to distract me from the nausea. That sometimes seems to help too.
Hope you feel better soon and congratulations!

I'm sitting here 13 weeks pregnant, bawling at a St. Jude's commercial and sipping a room-temp sprite (the only thing I can regularly keep down). I can't wait until I really can eat anything I want. I have felt hungover to some degree or another since late September. Hopefully it doesn't continue until June. Congrats to you and I can't wait to go through the next few months reading your posts and sharing the experience. Except instead of a 4 year-old girl I have a crazy 18-month old to wrangle.

Oh honey, I feel your pain. That was me for the first few months. Things were much better after I went on Diclectin - it's a fun combo drug we have in Canada that's a mix of vitamin B and some sleeping med used in the U.S.

It made me functional enough to be vertical but the trade off is sleepiness.

Erm..I remember waking up out of a deep, sound sleep so sick I thought I would die...no food or drink, just sleeping! How can sleeping make you sick? But, Dude, it can. I so remember, like it was yesterday. but actually? 40 years ago! Some things you just never forget...babies are the bomb, pregnancy is for the birds!

I am so happy for you!!! I'm looking forward to following this pregnancy as closely as I did the last one. Hubby gets to hear me read all of your blog posts aloud. We smile about them together. I hope the morning sickness passes soon!

Well, I'm glad to know at least that I am not the only person who turns into a Sasquatch when gestating. When I was pregnant with Babe I "accidentally" punched a seven-year-old in the face when he pointed out that I had shag carpeting where my belly should have been.

It's okay, though, because that kid was my brother. He disowned me for a little while but I bought back his affection with a set of fancy playing cards. Something tells me that strategy wouldn't work so well with Leta, though.

Thank you for openly admitting that pregnancy is not the transcendant, jubilant cup-of-tea that so many seem to make it out to be. While my complexion has fared well and (lack of) weight gain might make me think I finally found the weight loss strategy that works for me really, not so much enjoying the physical side of this pregnancy. What, exactly, is supposed to be magical about a tiny human being beating you up from the inside?

Ok, I KNOW that you have nine MILLION people giving you advice and home remedies and you have a MOM ... but I obviously have no self control. The only thing that curbed my vomiting for each of my three babies (oh. my. god. the first baby was 20 YEARS AGO. The third was only 8. Still.) But I digress. All three pregnancies - peppermint. Not wintergreen or any other mint, just peppermint. I even keep a bag of the fat peppermints in my desk for my students who have upset stomaches and they tell me it even works for them.

At the very least, it will be the best, iciest, peppermintiest mint you have ever had!

Oh I am not even 3 months and I am already showing. I blame it on the bloat. Its my pretty little gas baby. SEXY STUFF!

Ha! But are you dizzy? I was so dizzy for the first three months that I kept falling down. I fainted from dizziness in Yankee Candle, and the shop girl called the paramedics. I woke up right away, but I was so mortified that I ran out of the store. Leaving my purse behind. With all of my money in it. And my cell phone. So the paramedics rifled through my purse and called my HOME # from my cell, which got them to my now-ex-husband, who panicked and came to the mall to look for me. He found me at California Pizza kitchen, where I had wolfed down a Peking Duck pizza, with no way to pay because I'd ditched my purse at Yankee Candle. I rewarded him for finding me by puking the Peking Duck pizza on his shoes as he led me back to the store, then fainting again. I don't like duck. I blame the puking on the pizza.

The paramedics were still there and they gave me some oxygen. They were nice.

I've never gone into Yankee Candle again.

I quit reading the comments...Did anyone mention Sea Bands? I highly recommend them.

Dude, I smell twins.

And get on with the belly pics. Thank you.

THINK: end result end result end result end result
end result end result end result...........

Does Jon feel sick too?
Hope the hormones lighten up soon.

Martha

I am about a week ahead of you, and I still feel bad. This is baby number 4 for me, so you think I would learn. This is my last one... I NEVER want to be preggo again. EVER.

Ask for some anti nausea meds from your doc. I am taking Reglan, and it takes the edge off very nicely.... I can actually semi function without a barf bag handy.

Hope that you get to feeling better.

a boy! and thank God someone else saying it sucks to be pregnant. for me, it made the wonderful part when you hold that baby for the first time even sweeter...

I LOATHED being pregnant too and wanted to clobber all those glowing, floating, hippie preggo mamas over the head with something.

Glowing? The only glowing *I* did was from the broken blood vessels all over my face from throwing up.

In the end it's totally worth it, but being pregnant = UGH.

I feel your pain and wish you an easy, happy pregnancy and a wonderful future with your expanded family :)

We asked our 21-year old coworker and first time mother this summer if she was relieved after finally having her baby. She gave birth 6 days past her due date, and having been 11 days late myself, I remembered the joy of Not Being Pregnant Anymore! almost outweighing the delivery of my son at the time. But she just smiled and shrugged, "It didn't really bother me, either way... being pregnant or not being pregnant... I don't mind, one way or the other." She also didn't mind moving into a new house when 9 months pregnant, walking about half a mile from our office to the parking deck every day when 9 months pregnant, or being served the wrong kind of salad at an office luncheon when 9 months pregnant (can you imagine? I can't). We've all decided she's simply not human.

Thank goodness there will be a beautiful outcome from this whole process. Hang in there!

Last night I did a bit too much pregnancy research, tonight your post (which I loved)... A sign? This is my "fertile" week. I had plans of lots and lots of sex this week. Now I may keep my legs closed and stay on my side of the bed. Oy.

Thanks for telling it like it is, it's refreshing to hear how you and many of your readers did NOT enjoy the pregnancy part either. The outcome is totally worth it, but for many, pregnancy is a just a miserable (10 not 9!) months....especially for those of us who vomited all they way up until and during labor. Ick...

Congrats to your family!

I, being about 2 months ahead of you, feel your pain. I just stopped eating because I didn't like it. Of course this being my 4th pregnancy means that there was no vomiting just all food was despicable.

I always say, I Love being Pregnant-- But I think what I mean is I love the happy second trimester with all the attention and glow and eating like a pig and it being doctor ordered. I forget about the first and third trimester and being sick of being sick and being sick of being pregnant.

As for maternity pants-- Bought mine at 8 weeks- with my last child i didn't give them up until she was about 2 years old. (they weren't the full panel type)
I say work the maternity pants and feel the love and mooch off the fact that you are too sick to do anything- i mean isn't that why Jon is a work at home dad too? Well right now he can do ALL the work!

Did you catch Britney For the Record! I know you love her!

I LOVED The Brick Oven! Carb overload, you betcha! Sorry you're feeling crook--think of all that Etsy nursery shopping you'll be doing...

I can relate to what you're going through to a T. I was nauseated all the time, even when I wasn't I was. I also started showing with my second when I was only 8 weeks pregnant. AND I ate chips NON-STOP, especially to try and deal with the nausea. Eat small meals, or just a few bites of fruit here and there (I ate black plums and I found that helped a bit), and lie down whenever you have to. Hang in there.

Oh so totally hearing you. I've got 10 more days to go to the due date, and while I know I'm going to love the stuffin' out of my little daughter, I WANT MY BODY BACK! Because that glass of Merlot has been calling with an angel's voice ...

Also, normal pants without elastic--AWESOME!

I'm also newly pregnant with my second....first time around I think I made it to 5 months before I needed maternity clothes. Yeah, that is not going to happen this time. And, my god, the freaking hair??!! WTF??? These hormones are evil. Nope, not feeling remotely beautiful these days either.

Get the wristbands used for seasickness. They work for me every time I have nausea no matter the cause. I don't know how they work but they do. I know they have them at Walmart pharmacy. It might be worth a try.

I admit it, I *loved* pregnancy (3 times), but I also had horrible nausea. Accupuncture and constitutional homeopathy worked for me. Hope you feel better soon!

two words: preggie pops!

they saved my life...well, my stomach anyway.

Oh I had that same "food in my throat" feeling pregnant with my youngest. I wound up being diagnosed with gatropareiss (delayed stomach emptying) and put on Reglan which helped my stomach but made me tired to the point of being non-functioning. In the end I dealt with the near-constant nausea as I had a 4-year old to chase after.

Gosh that was so long ago. That baby is now 9.

A-freakin-men! I am 10 weeks along and you perfectly described how I'm feeling. Except, just because that is not enough misery, I also have a horrible cold - and get this - shingles. Yup, I am a big ol mess.

I think its a boy!

23 weeks here... no puking, but I have cramped up muscles in the right side of my back that are making me eye the kebab skewers in the kitchen as I contemplate do-it-yourself acupuncture.

Other than that I have to say pregnancy has been great - there's nothing like feeling the kicks and wiggles. They started out tiny and low and are now making my belly jump - right above the belly button.

Keep on posting - it's great to read about your experiences!

Hair where there should not be hair...that made me flashback to the frickin' beard I grew with my second. Good luck with that.

Here's to a healthy and happy pregnancy!

Oh, and how about an installment of Exclamation Point?

My friend Lisa is one of those Elephant pregnant people. I was more like a honey badger. I hated it.
Even though when it came down to her wanting one more kid and she was too sick to be able to conceive and carry...I offered my womb. THANK YOU GOD she decided that maybe 6 kids was too much. I would have done it, but just reading this reminded me how much I hated all 3 times I was pregnant.
--by the way, had this brain freezes earlier. It's a boy. You will name him Derrick. (I hope you don't, but that is what I saw...)

I know how you feel. I'm 6 1/2 months and I can't tell if the baby is kicking me or if I have an alien about ready to burst out of my stomach.

I'm glad to hear that even though your brain is making you feel sick, the rest of you is doing a good job of growing that baby!

I did! *grin* lets say it really loud with all caps! SEABANDS!!!!!!!!! GET THEM!!!! YESSSSS!!!!! they worked so well!!!! ok... Ill stop yelling now :)

I'm with you. HATED, HATED, HATED being pregnant and NEVER understood anyone who said they loved it.

On the flip side, once the baby was out and I had my body back I was up for anything. Hourly feedings all night long for the first month? NO PROBLEM! I've got MY BODY BACK!

And showing earlier is all part of pregnancy #2! If you go for that third, you'll probably start showing at conception!

Congrats. I was a little afraid when we hadn't heard from you for a week. Glad to hear all is progressing "normally!"

I so feel for you, and understand completely what you're going through. With my one pregnancy (I am in complete awe of anyone that does it more than once) at 5 months I had LOST 10 pounds. I knew that I had achieved the pregnancy pit of hell when I was driving at 45 miles an hour, turning an almost complete 360 in a cloverleaf intersection, driving with one hand and barfing into a Sonic Route 44 cup at the same time. Or that terrible feeling when you are successfully (or so you think) eating, and you realize that if you swallow the food that is in your mouth everything will erupt from your body like Vesuvius in all its glory. I will have you in my thoughts, and hope that you soon find the magic food that you can keep down (mine was honey nut cheerios).

Heather, thank you thank you thank you for this post tonight! I'm 27 weeks pregnant right now, first baby, and not loving it so much! I sure do love that sweet little kicker growing inside of me, but god help me with the back aches and big surprise downward mood swings. I can't wait to be a mom, but being pregnant is so not the constant state of bliss I imagined it to be. Anyway, while it's difficult for me to offer words of encouragement at this very moment, maybe you can take comfort in the fact that you are most definitely not alone. - Becca

Are you allowed to say HAND JOB twice in one posting? Is that legal in the world of blogging? I dunno...I'll let it slide. And after reading such a horrific, discomforting post on pregnancy, which in fact makes me all that less excited to ever be pregnant, I think HAND JOBS are the way to go.

I'll pitch the idea to my future husband. He'll dig it I'm sure. "Honey, guess what? I will only ever let your PP touch my hand from this day forth. Are you excited!?"

Will you post photos of the growing belly like last time? Because I would love to see it. Not in a creepy way, though.

I am in my mid twenties and I still do not see one good reason to be afflicted with a pregnancy. People tell me I will "grow out of it" (because they are obviously patronizing as fuck) but reading testimonials like yours only makes me MORE certain about my body not being host to a parasite! Why haven't we figured out a way for men to carry babies yet?!

You are indeed brave and a little crazy for willingly doing this to yourself. I just hope it gets better! (Because you are awesome and I adore you- weird alien baby and all ;) )

Unisom & B6

This post definitely brought back memories of my own pregnancy--and I, too, felt disenfranchised by being pregnant. Total loss of control over even your own subjectivity--you are less than one and double, as the French Feminists say.

Luckily, and as you know, I now know the sacrifice is worth it. But yeah, it blows.

Heather...

thought this might cheer you up! My favorite Xmas song.

Merry Xmas girl.

I think she looks a bit like you actually.

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=exIR8zc4BNA

I started showing with my 3rd (don't ask why I'm having a 3rd) upon peeing on a the magic stick. All I can say is, I'm QUITE glad this ride is almost over.

Best of luck!

I totally understand. I hated being pregnant with a passion. I didn't even like the baby movements. While everyone else around me was over the moon and bursting with excitement that finally, the baby was moving...I was crying. Even when the baby came, I resented him for hurting me so much over the last 5 months.

Boo

I finally had to quit blogging on my ever-so-blah blog about my pregnancy because all I was blogging about was throwing up. It disgusted even me. (And I wonder why no one reads my blog? Could be that.)

I'm sorry pregnancy is awful for you. It's awful for me too and it makes me feel like less of a freak to know that I'm not the only one that hates being pregnant. Ok, maybe HATE is too strong of a word sometimes but when you've puked all day long and everything you formerly loved to eat now tastes like gasoline, you tend to be a little on the bitchy side.

And I don't hate it all the time. Just like the whole throwing up part. And the heartburn and the getting so fat that my doctor says "Maybe you might want to only gain 15 pounds with this pregnancy." Screw you, doc. You're a thin little wisp of a thing who's never had a baby of your own so don't even open your mouth about pregnancy weight-gain.

Sorry. Every time I remember that, I go on a little rant.

Here's hoping it gets better for you.

Oh my...I can tell I am going to love these posts. I was unaware of your blog or any blog for that matter on the first go-around. Must be amazing to be able to look back and have your life chronicled. I'll have to do the same when that subject comes about. We will be working on a loaf of bread of our own within the next year or so...so that's it:)

Have you tried ginger? I really hate ginger, it tastes like soap, but I hear it works wonders for nausea. If I felt that crappy I *might* try it.....

I don't think your showing! I just saw you at the Key club in L.A. you looked great,your a skinny. you have nothing to worry about, your beautiful!:)

Welcome back to pregnancy and thank god I am not the only one who feels the way you do about being pregnant. The only drawback is after all of the sickness is finally over with this time and you can finally eat normally, everything tastes even better and the pounds are harder shed! UGH. It's been almost 2 years since my last pregnancy and I am still trying to loose the weight. The only thing good about being sick all of the time during my second pregnancy is I looked damn good!! All BOOBS!

Right there with you,Babe. Love my children. Grateful for my children. Hated being pregnant for all the same reasons.

I lived off salt and vinegar chips and oranges for nine months. Everything else made me puke. You actually somehow made me nostalgic about being pregnant. Quite the feat.

I have never loved to read your site more! I too hate those pregnancy is all "rainbows and butterflies" people! Pregnancy is over rated! Worst 40 weeks of my life!