• http://momof2girs.com Kristen

    I am so in love with that vanity that I am convincing my husband, that we need it, or I will die w/o it!

  • Swiper

    Dear Dooce,

    Yes, kinda. Especially when Oprah says it on her show. I can never doubt “The Great Oprah.” Can you?

    Your pal,


  • http://crazysuburbanmom.blogspot.com/ The crazy suburban mom

    Ugh, Ikea. Not a lucid direction in any package I’ve ever gotten from them. Once took me 40 minutes to put together a 10 inch paper lamp with about 5 parts.

    It’s like they translate directions from Swedish into English using Japanese as some weird middle language.

    I’ve never been able to help anyone with anything from Ikea without a good deal of luck, Xanax and a gag.


  • http://faydean.typepad.com faydean

    I’m with alot of other commenters here on this would have been better left to when you guys had more time and energy. While it looks ok, that tile thing is a huge eyesore. You just need to go ahead and break up the rest of the tile and continue the square ones. It just looks, well, bad.

    Sorry…but I wouldn’t want you guys to leave that and think you could sell the house with it like that someday. I’m sure you don’t.

    Besides the floor, it looks nice. Save up and just get a floor guy to fix it for ya after the baby is a few months old.

  • http://www.becomingsarah.com Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    That book you’d like to write? That is EXACTLY how 150% of our home projects go. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

  • http://www.jodisorganizedchaos.com Jodi

    “Queen of the Internet” is going to be next month’s tagline right? ;)

  • http://www.suburbanmatron.com Becky

    I love the vanity. And I never thought of putting the Orla Kiely canister in the bathroom. Cute! And since we’re noticing things, the Orla Kiely bowl on the back of the potty! Yes, I am a little Kiely-obsessed at the mo’.

  • Anonymous

    I’m so sorry to be rude, and I don’t even know how to put this lightly—that is reallllly ugly. Sorry. And the square tile under the vanity???? I would have waited a year if it meant it would have looked better. Seriously. You cut corners and rushed the job and it SHOWS! And then on top of that you parade it on your website. Boo.

  • A.

    Looks great! Love the vanity, but I think that some time in the future you should re-tile the rest of the room with the rectangular tiles under the vanity. (Because your marriage hasn’t already gone through enough of a strain, right?!) They just seem to match your esthetic much more than the hexagonal tiles do. Anyhow, good work!

  • http://www.superfantastic.blogs.com Superfantastic

    How dare you do what you want with your own bathroom in your own house with your own money and manual labor!

    I will never understand where people get the mental energy to be morally outraged by stuff like this.

  • http://mommyiamhome.blogspot.com Karen

    Despite the pain of it all, it came out gorgeous!

  • Frances

    You wrote a post about a remodel, included photos and opened comments. I’d say that’s pretty much a solicitation for opinions.

    Personally, I’d have waited for the tiles to be special ordered. I’ve been pregnant – twice – and I’d rather take the stairs for two weeks than live with mismatched tiles for the rest of my life. It’s an eyesore.

  • Annie

    I don’t understand why anyone feels it necessary to tell you that what you did with your bathroom is ugly.


    If you don’t like it? Keep your thoughts to yourself. Didn’t your mother ever teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?

  • dooce


  • http://habitual.wordpress.com Habitual

    You can’t leave the tile like that!!!! Go tell Jon!

    We just got a quote to remodel our bathroom, replacing the fixtures in their same locations and keeping the walls in place. So, basically rip out the biggest tub in the entire world and replace it with a stand-up shower. The quote does NOT include: plumbing fixtures, light fixtures, tile or painting (those are all items WE have to supply, they will install) and it was $12,500. What recession?

  • Anonymous

    Oh the nutters have made me giggle, so glad you opened comments on this one!

  • Brianne

    Aside from all of this hullabaloo that you guys had to go through – you have SUCH GREAT taste in decor. You should get this side internet job during which you just look at cute stuff and tell people how to decorate their rooms. They can go buy it all and assemble it all and put it all in working order. Wouldn’t that be great?
    You have my sincerest sympathy for all you guys had to go through just for this one project. And as a soon-to-be first time homebuyer, you have succeeded in scaring me shitless.
    You rock!

  • http://confuseddildo.blogspot.com Katy

    I was going to remark on how I like your new bathroom, but then I was reminded of my impending mortality, so I decided to gorge my sorrows with some chips and salsa.

    Maybe your next remodel should involve coffins and urns, so nobody can accuse you of not keeping it real?

  • http://mumologic.wordpress.com Claire

    move that extra toilet paper closer to the toilet. Believe me,

  • jwg

    Loved your story. Love the comments even more.

  • Aileen

    I’ve liked your past remodels but this one…not too much. The “before” pic looks way better. That said, to each his own & if you like it, that’s what counts.

  • http://outdoordogs.blogspot.com Amo

    I think number 235 gave you the next mast head: “Queen of the Internet.”

    My grandmother always said, “Opinions are like assholes…” and there are plenty of them here. ;)

    I would share my opinion, but who gives a damn. Hell, I don’t even care anymore after reading #100…

    Maybe I’ll just have some wine instead. Heh.

  • Margie

    Am thinking I have to agree with some of the other folks, liked the pre-transformation better. The floor tiles would drive me nuts!!. only thing I would have changed is the that big light . . but then it isn’t my bathroom and as long as you guys like it that is all that matters.

  • Swiper

    Hey Dooce,

    Now tell us what the baby’s name will be. I’ll bet that you’re itching to know what we think of that too. Ok, that’s a joke. Sort of.

    Your buddy,


  • http://www.altruisminthemorning.com natalie

    does the extra toilet paper get dog hair on it? never know where to store mine in my tiny bathroom with a constantly shedding dog.

    looks great btw!

  • http://daddyscratches.com Daddy Scratches

    First, I was afraid to read all of these comments … for it felt as though I was losing my grip on reality, and I feared that I might have to go back to the special place—the one with the padded room and the medicine and the jacket with those weird sleeves.

    Then I put on my tinfoil helmet and stood in front of my mirror, which I use to communicate with Heather (she talks to me through HER new mirror … you know, the one that hangs over her cheap/awesome Ikea vanity that sits above those vomitous/charming tiles in her lame/amazing new bathroom?), and she told me I need not be afraid, that the voices wouldn’t come back again … you know, despite the fact that someone cracked open an INDUSTRIAL-SIZE CAN OF CRAZY ALL OVER THIS THREAD.

  • http://www.liesel.com Liesel

    So… where’d you get the astronaut costumes?

  • Anonymous

    Btw, you two couldn’t find the blue tile that runs along as a baseboard? This is a shotty job and I think people are ‘attacking’ you because we expected better. If it’s a bad job, why even post pics and open comments.

    I really loathe it when you become an internet whore just to get traffic or get people fired up. It really sucks. And you have the audacity to comment back and antagonize people because they are giving their opinions. Your bathroom looked better before you messed it up. Period. Anyone else stating differently is kissing your proverbial ass so you will go to their blog and kiss their proverbial ass.

  • J. Bo

    For a “quickie” redecorate/remodel (that is to say, one that doesn’t involve tearing down walls and sacrificing children), you guys did great. I think the tile is an interesting geometric contrast AND, to quote The Dude, that rug really ties the whole room together.

  • kikibelle

    Here’s the nuttiest comment of all:

    Even with reading all that you’ve gone through, right now in the middle of my second trimester, I’m still thinking it’s a FABULOUS idea to do a semi-quick (hahahaha) remodel of our main bathroom. And then retile the shower stall in our master bath.

  • Amy

    Oh, do I feel your pain…my husband and I moved into a new house at the end of February, when I was 24 weeks pregnant, and our efforts since that time to select furniture, decorate, and complete a variety of other new-house projects has necessitated the hiring of a referee, I mean decorator, so that we do not KILL each other. I swear, I’m finding that this whole nesting instinct thing is making me just want. things. finished. regardless of what’s involved.

    Good for you for getting this project out of the way!

  • Amy

    Wow! People do get worked up over the home improvement projects! Thanks for posting the pictures- I think it’s lovely, and #261 had a good idea for hiding the mismatched tile, if you wanted to.

  • http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com Hokie Deb

    –>My marriage has now survived two complete bathroom remodels and thankfully, we only have two bathrooms. The second one was with a 1-year-old in the house who didn’t want to be anywhere but in the bathroom that had no floors, walls or fixtures. It’s been a year and I’m glad it’s finished.
    Your new bathroom looks great.


  • deborah

    I think the pictures are confusing me…are there 2 toilets in this bathroom???

  • http://www.lorimagno.com Lori Magno

    I love the new look. Thanks for documenting the madness. Perhaps I’ll delay refinishing the kitchen hardwood floor until never. Can everyone just chill now so that both parents are in good working order for the new kid?

  • stacy


    In case you didn’t know.

  • sbk

    Michigan! Whooooo!

  • dooce

    I wish you would all tell me how you *really* feel.

  • http://fab.typepad.com/brunette Margarita

    That is such a gorgeous before and after shot. Before it was a simple bathroom, after it is modern, minimalist and warm at once. It’s simply gorgeous, good job – and while pregnant!

  • Shiz

    Hi, Armstrongs! Congratulations on your new bathroom! You did awesome and I hope you enjoy it!

  • http://longislanddailyphoto.blogspot.com/2009/03/garden-gnomes.html Lily

    I really love what you did, you guys have amazing taste. Only I think I would make use of all that bright light in there and paint the walls a color like pale orange or a shimmering lime or celery ice green ala benji moore.& I wouldn’t use semi-gloss I would use eggshell or flat paint too… but, that’s just me.
    : )
    Dear Heather, I just finished your, “It Sucked & Then I Cried” book & loved it. I can’t wait to share it with friends. You are a natural born storyteller.

  • Anonymous

    indoor plumbing is always a plus!
    but outdoor showers are the best!

  • http://www.mommica.com mommica

    Why are some of your commenters such assholes?

    P.S. The vanity is hot.

  • YoGabbaGabba

    OMG DOOOOOOOCE! I totally heart you! Were you one of the lucky 2.4 million americans to buy a Orla Kiely specimen at Target? How? You must be like a decorating genius or somethin’! And then you paired it with a sink from this out-of-the-way storefront named IKEA or somesuch? How do you come up with it all?! And then – BAM — you leave the walls white! That’s some lyrical gansta action right there.

    Listen Dooce, I enjoy your blog (even tho I think jon is kinda a dick — hi jon!) but just who is nutters here. You make this project sound like you’re repairing the Hubble and the pictures show you replaced your vanity with an ikea sink. And it took like three weeks. First you broke your little toe and now this first world problem too? WOW! HOW CAN WE ADMIRE YOU MORE?

    I really love the comments, but not for the ‘nutters’. I love the “YOU TWO ROCK!!!!!!!!!” dooce-lovahs.

  • http://queenofthedorks.blogspot.com terry

    i have that same hexagonal tile in my bathroom!

    and call me crazy, but i actually like the different tile under the vanity. seriously.

    and it’s posts like this that keep me coming back here.

  • http://www.ecobabe.com.au ecobabe

    Enjoy your lovely clean, fresh powder room (I can’t see a bath or a shower?) You’ve done a great job on a remodel.

  • http://bilateralhaze.wordpress.com/ Lara

    Send Jon to Nashville; I’m not currently pregnant but I do need help with remodeling my bathroom and I will not help with any heavy lifting no matter what.

  • Fanny

    303 is a great example of the totally confusing level of energy people are putting into disliking the bathroom. 303 – go reread what you wrote. Then ask yourself *why* the state of a bathroom renovation for a home YOU DO NOT LIVE IN inspires you to call Heather an “internet whore” and drone on about her “audacity” to respond to some of the truly mean-spirited shit people are posting here. When someone calls you a whore, do you sit there and grin? Does your mom?

    Also, the word is “shoddy”.

  • http://www.whoahgirl.com Anne

    I adore the new look (even more so seeing the documentation of what went into it)! Truly an inspiration for whenever I own a house. Simply adore your style. :)

  • Jenny

    I am laughing so hard, that I am crying…you are wonderful…what a wonderful thing to read after such a craptastic day…cannot wait to hear how the remodel turns out!