• Corey

    When my sister and I were kids, we put our pillows in sideways cardboard boxes and slept with our heads in them. Just felt like I had to share that.

    Oh, and the plexi suggestions…I don’t know. That just doesn’t seem right to me!

    hahaha…my captcha is “sister bizarres”!

  • Brandy

    when my baby started doing thaqt I decided it was time to put the crib bumper back in so that she couldn’t get to the bars. Worked like a charm, sleeping through the night again!

  • http://www.rajencreation.wordpress.com rachel

    mattress on floor

  • Priscilla

    I think it’s the Jon’s of the world that drove the clever marketing people at Graco to call it a “Pack n Play”…mothers around the world, however, know it as the box that saves your life. :)

    Good luck!

  • katie

    boxes work well for infants. now i just put the three year old on the corner with a sign that says “free for the taking”

    somehow she always gets returned after a few hours, but let me tell you – those few hours are like heaven!

  • http://thearmywife.com Jessica

    I didn’t want to read through all the comments. Someone may have already mentioned it, but have you heard of the Breathable Bumper? http://www.breathablebumper.com/. We purchased the bumper for our soon to be child, because of the fear of SIDS and the fear of her getting her little limbs stuck in the crib.

  • http://www.bellablogs.com Bella

    I’ve often thought the box might be the answer. Why not make the sides of the crib out of plexiglass or misquito net? That way they still have a good view of their surroundings without the potentiality of having their chubby little baby fat rolled up legs trapped between the bars. Seems genius enough to me.

  • stephanie c

    pack & play. our second daughter did this exact same thing as well as just flatout refused to sleep in this gorgeous crib we had. so she slept for 3 months in the pack & play next to her crib. in her room. next to her crib.

    the second one throws you the curve balls.

  • http://adventuresofmywonderfullife.blogspot.com/ Anonymous

    Breathable crib bumper – safer than the padded ones but still keep the arms and legs inside the crib at all times. Try it and get some rest!

    Oh but if you have a solution to the binky falling out of the babies mouth that doesn’t include duct taping it in because I have been assured that would make me a horrible mom – please blog about that!!

  • Keri

    My youngest was a real mover to, try something called a miracle blanket or SwaddleMe (made by Kiddopotamus) you wrap the baby up so that there limbs are confined.

  • http://www.theadventuresofsupermom.com Michelle

    I agree!! SNIP SNIP!!!!

    I have tried to talk Superdad into the big V but he’s not having it!!!!


    Anyway, sorry about the crib! Dammit, it’s always something to stress over.

    Since HE says no to the box what about a laundry basket?????


    Good Luck!

  • MTLB





  • http://themilfreport.blogspot.com Legs

    My husband slept in a pulled out dresser drawer as a baby and now he totally won’t anymore. They wrecked him. Be careful…

  • Anonymous

    I love you. I love your writing. I think the cardboard is hysterical. Please don’t banish me to the hate page for this one, but these new ad SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK. They are annihilating my face.

  • http://www.furrymurray.com/ Erin

    I had more of an inchworm than a roller, but bumpers worked great once I got over the SIDS paranoia. By the way, your “Monetizing The Hate” site is great! And also disturbing/depressing that people are SO outlandishly vicious. Who peed in their Wheaties? Love your blog! :D

  • http://barnmaven.typepad.com BarnMaven

    Sorry the anxiety is so bad, that’s got to suck. I’m trying to imagine the goat noises in my head with little success; can we get some video?

    I’m feeling grateful we never had this as an issue, and really getting a kick out of some of my fellow commenters. You people and your kids are damn near as funny as Heather.

    OK, daily Dooce fix is over, back to work.

  • Pam

    Plexiglass. It worked for my newborn hamsters when they started walking through the bars of their cage when I was 12.
    Get the crib bumpers.

    They ought to make plexiglass cribs now that I think about it.

  • Samantha

    I slept in a cardboard box for about a week when I came home from the hospital. I guess in those days no one had cradles and I wouldn’t stop crying in the crib. The funny part is that my dad was a salesman of mens clothes and they always told me that they put me in a tie box. So I spent the first 12 years or so thinking that I was small enough to fit in a box that holds one tie. Turns out it was a bigger box that held many ties.

  • nikki from across the pond

    I totally recommend baby sleeping bags, you can get them in all tog values so she wont over heat. Mia was exactly the same as Marlo and we found them the best thing for a whole nights sleep. In fact, i wish they made adult sizes coz they look sooooooo comfy.

    good luck xx

  • http://governmentgrant.com/housing-grants Grant

    Card board is pretty darn creative to me, but have you thought about using bubble wrap lol?

  • Tanya

    how about a laundry basket? that way you can take her wherever, and have a little nest of laundry (dirty or clean, whichever is available…) on the bottom? Tuck in some detergent, a bottle of water, you’re good to go! Then you could put wheels on it. And an engine!

  • the niffer

    Awesome post. Hope you guys get some sleep soon!

  • Michele D

    We adopted our daughter from Kazakhstan (it’s OK no one knows where it is). The lovely establishment we stayed at did not have a crib. I emptied out our HUGE suitcase, stuffed it with blankets and jeans and that was her bed. We considered a drawer like in the pioneer days, but the drawers did not come out of the bureau, so that did not work for us. I totally would have used a box. My daughter (now 8) thinks the photos of her in our suitcase are just the funniest thing ever. Warped, just like her mama.

  • grammie

    Ummm I’ve noticed your hate page is running a little thin these days. Is it possible that your hate “fan club” is running out of steam? I’ve noticed that they haven’t been all that creative lately, although the “banana head with a chin” and “mormon transvestites with deformed chin” is pretty good. Since I love the whole concept of monetizing the hate, how about I submit some free vitriol to keep the thing going?
    So, I HATE that second dog…what is her name anyway. cuckoo? Chuck I would dognap in a heartbeat, but Coco would swiftly be on her way to dog heaven from my house. Shit eating dogs have always brought on my gag reflex, and I think people who waste their valuable time on rehabilitating a neurotic dog haven’t heard that you can always get a new dog anytime you like, and many of them are free! So many great dogs out there, so few good homes.

  • http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/ Serial

    Oh, come ON. Put that baby in a box.

    Don’t let the internet dictate how you parent! Or that pesky husband!

  • candacemary

    Dude, the mesh bumper thingy is called a CribSheild. It is totally safe and works like a charm. We’ve had it on the crib since my daughter was 5 months old (worked like a charm on day one) and she is now 16 months. It will save your sanity and it’s not as all-fire ugly as it seems like it will be. Good Luck.

  • susie

    Why can’t you let her sleep in a box? If you put one of the dog beds in the bottom of the box it would be really cozy.

    I distinctly remember loving big cardboard boxes when I was a very small child and could still fit in them.

  • Another Heather

    Just get one of those crib bumper pads made out of mesh .. no chance of suffication, but it keeps ‘stuff’ inside .. arms, legs, and in our case, soothers.

  • http://www.fosterhood.tumblr.com fosterhood

    A recycling bin, I need one of those! I’ve resorted to a well-lined bathtub. I slept right next to it and now I’m confessing to the public. Same problem here, my first would get his arms jacked-up and then start screaming bloody murder. I couldn’t sleep, until the bathtub.

  • Michele

    you need a crib bumper and an angel care motion sensor monitor. Crib bumper will prevent the limbs getting stuck, motion sensor will give you some piece of mind if you worry about SIDs or suffocation. With the rolling around, just be sure to put the monitor on the most sensitive setting… good luck!

  • Crystal

    That was great! I love your stories!!!

  • MsKnudsen

    What a great idea for a children’s book. Titled “My Baby Sister Sleeps in a Box” or something. Leta can help you write it!

  • http://happeningsofnoah.blogspot.com Hilary

    i had a “crib tent” for my second. it lined the crib, went under the mattress, and formed a ‘tent’ above the mattress. it had a zippered opening and was made of mesh. it’s made to keep cats out of cribs, i used it to keep my 2 year old out. there were no stuck limbs. but my mother did think it bordered on abuse.

  • kathie

    I’m sure a zillion people have already suggested this in the previous comments but what about putting her in a portable crib with the mesh sides?

  • Anonymous

    In case no one above has suggested, a Pack n Play is a good place for Marlo to sleep.

  • Sara G

    My son was sticking his legs out of his cribs at home and at daycare. At home he did not get stuck, but he did get stuck at daycare. His teacher had use some soap and water to get his chubby thigh unstuck from between the crib bars. That was a funny read on his daily report.

    I bought a “breathable” bumper for home, which seemed to do the trick. He no longer wants to escape his cribs, but wants to scrunch down into one corner of the crib to sleep.

  • http://athleticmonkey.wordpress.com/ Monkey

    This post is exactly why I am afraid to have a second baby. My first was/is pretty darn easy. I know that the odds having having one who is the exact opposite are just too high. My guy was a chunker who didn’t roll over until, hmm, 9 months. I can’t imagine a rolling 4 month old.

    I totally wouldn’t judge you for using a box.

  • Jennifer

    My six-month-old starting driving me nuts in the same way at four months. I wove the bumper pads through the crib slats. This stopped the “getting limb stuck” problem. She seems to have learnt the boundaries of her crib. She doesn’t want to sleep with her face in the bumper pad, so she doesn’t. Babies are actually much smarter than we give them credit for.

  • Anonymous

    great post…
    but all the hoopla about BREATHABLE crib bumpers- like if the sides aren’t breathable mesh the air cannot get in..not that we are SURROUNDED by AIR or anything
    LMAO~really world…
    and as for the safety…I know so bumpers aren’t safe… I heard…but nor are getting your limbs stuck…

    do what ya gotta…all the hoopla is half the fun!

  • http://dirtyshankcardchallenges.blogspot.com/ Jailbird

    I don’t often comment, but I do love your style of writing and your blog almost always makes me LOL.
    I love the monetize the hate plan – but also wanted you to know you make people laugh and that is a great talent.

  • http://www.ramblingbrooke.com Brooke

    Haha…I see no problem with a box. But, then again, I don’t have any children.

  • Kate

    I totally understand what you are going through!!! Our son has been doing this too. I have to turn on the hall light to find him in the middle of the night because HE WILL NOT be laying exactly where you put him(plus I’m blind as a bat and forget to put on my glasses sometimes) It’s crazy nuts. What’s even more ironic is that our first child didn’t do this either! WTF, it’s quite annoying that I am now a zombie again, why can’t they just sleep, normal.

  • http://jenpenm.com Jen

    I’ve got 2 solutions for you:
    1) a port-a-crib, it’s got mesh sides instead of slats or bars like a full-size crib.
    2) Padding for the inside of the crib. It’s about 6″ tall and aside from making the sides soft also keeps them from getting their limbs stuck. Unfortunately, you have to take this out of the crib when she learns to stand up because she could figure out how to use it as a step to topple herself out of the crib.

    Of course, you could also get some cotton mesh from the fabric store and fasten it to the inside of Marlo’s crib, would serve mostly the same purpose as the padding but you wouldn’t have to remove it when she learns to stand up.

  • Levans

    So I hopped on today to read the gloriousness which is my weekly dose of dooce, (did not disappoint, references to children kept in boxes is always a pick me up) and found all these Blackberry Ads. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about you getting cash for the dog and pony show, but I wonder if BLACKBERRY doesn’t find it ironic to advertise on your site when we all know you have/love/can’t live without your iphone?

  • http://mygrannysays.blogspot.com ash

    Hey Heather,

    My friends Dennis and Jana were so broke when they had their first baby that Dennis made a crib/bassinet from a cardboard box that he bolted to a TV tray from KMart. Dennis says he lined it with some baby wrapping paper to make it nice.

    Baby Dennise is all grown up with two babies of her own and quite well adjusted.

    hugs, ash.

  • http://www.pipandthebean.blogspot.com/ MamaMags

    Never have scissors had a more noble purpose… snip snip indeed.

  • Sheryl

    Oliver used to get his arms and legs wedged between his crib rails all the time. I bought one of those ‘breathable crib bumpers’ and we’ve not had a problem since. Approved by the SIDS people, nice color, washable, and it even retains pacifiers…

  • Allison

    Crib bumper. If she can roll like that, you can pretty much drop SIDS from your List of Fears.

    I feel ya on the “OH MY HELL where did my easy baby go?” My third son — my EASY PEASY sleep-through-the-night baby — turned six months old today. In the past week he learned to 1) sit, 2) crawl, and 3) pull up to standing. All while 1) suffering from an ear infection, 2) cutting two teeth, and 3) officially resigning from his “Sleep through the night” position to “spend more time with family.”

    If you had told me two weeks ago that we would be in the place we are today, I would have laughed in your face.

  • http://www.fatmumslim.com.au fat mum slim

    I know your pain. My daughter liked to sleep sitting up. All night.

    Perhaps this is your answer?


  • http://mynext50.blogspot.com mynext50.blogspot.com

    It’s been a while, my son is 14, but I think his bassinet thingy was more a less a box, a box with a zipper no less that made it totally enclosed. I used to have it on the floor of my office (unzipped) so he could nap at work. It was only big enough for a baby that was 3-4 months old, but he was still sleeping in that box at 7-8 months old, I can still see the bump of his head pushing on the box (it was a cloth box) because he was too big. The FedEx lady was horrified. As any good mother, I was just thrilled he was sleeping and I could get something done, so the top of his head is a little flat, he’s got hair.