• Libby

    They have these little sleep sacks for babies. Probably cheaper than a bumper, but you do have to wrangle them into the sack. Also, swaddling, but the same issue.

  • michelle

    Surely it has been said here already, but just in case… when babies reach developmental milestones they wake up at night and mess up their lovely night time routines, then eventually it will all go back (with luck) to the way it was before. Marlo will do it again when she begins to crawl, stand, cruise, etc, etc. Just your basic nightmare!

  • Kim, NC

    The breathable bumpers are the BEST!!!! Used them with my oldest (2 1/2) & now with my little one (6 mo). Try Babies R Us.

  • http://www.mommablogsalot.com Jen E @ mommablogsalot

    We’ve got this great netting thing that goes around the inside of the crib that we got when my oldest was trying to climb out of the crib and getting limbs stuck and all sorts of mischief and we just went ahead and put it in the crib right away when our second was born 2 months ago since they are sharing a room, I figure it will keep my son from trying to climb in there with her – bonus, no limbs can get stuck and it’s safer than those bumpers that I hear they can crawl up under and get stuck in.

  • Karen

    Hi Heather,

    I have read you forever but hardly ever comment. I found your blog way after my daughter was grown. I always wish there were mothers like you being vocal about motherhood while I was knee deep in it. The people I knew while I was “mothering” would have cringed if I ever joked about putting my kid in a box. The thought crossed my mind more than once. I hope my daughter reads you and understands motherhood in not black and white, I guess her “bad” mother probably taught her that.

    I want you to know that you do help others through the tough times, knowing they are not the only ones. I hope the majority of your commenters help you too. The other perfect mothers can just suck it.

    You have two beautiful daughters. You are doing great raising a strong, indenpendent, self knowing child with Leta. Marlo is beautiful.

    We need more mothers to admit they are not June Cleaver and there is nothing wrong with that, we will all be the better for it.

    I do want you to know I enjoy the hate mail. I suppose there is something wrong with me, but I do. I laugh my ass off. I do enjoy the perfect people who are so loving, caring, concerned, and judgemental with their advice. If you don’t think the way they do you are a bad mother and wrong.

    Have a good one, hugs and kisses to your girls and family

  • Anonymous


    Seriously it will be ok!

  • http://www.snaptress.com Snaptress

    I don’t see what’s wrong with the box idea. It seems quite practical to me. :)

    Although, I’m not yet a mom, and my parenting ways will by highly influential by what I read here, so if my mom finds me w/ a cardboard crib and peter frampton posters on the wall a few years from now, I will not hesitate to blame you, the lady with shingles.

    Just kidding… but kind of serious. :)

  • http://www.mommyandsweetpea.com Rose

    So you’re not wanting any more children, then? I will be in the same place as you after number two, maybe three. I agree with someone above who wants you to have a boy, just to entertain us all.

  • http://www.nicholefrankphotography.com Nichole Frank
  • Jillian

    Get a cardboard eco friendly crib!

  • lolismum

    A mesh crib bumper to that “lets the air through”. Ha ha, are you people kidding? The top of the crib is open, no? How is that not enough air? Or do you people put a lid on the crib? And crib bumpers being used as step? What? It is fabric, folds over and yields under pressure. If your kid is old enough and determined enough to scale his/her crib, then he/she will not need the crib bumper as a step.
    For the love of god, just get a cheap crib bumper, pad the crib, problem solved. Not exactly rocket science.

  • Heather

    The comments are almost as good as your post!

    Good luck with the box, and tell Jon not to be so squeamish. He just needs to stock up on the frozen peas before his trip to the doc. He’ll be fiiiiine.


  • http://www.tokenblogger.com tokenblogger

    Use a damn box! A box, a basket? What’s the difference!

    Boxes and baskets were around long before cribs — and then there is also the really deep dresser drawer, too!

  • Starr

    My second would get his limbs stuck once he learned to roll over, but it only lasted a week or two. My three-year-old? Over the past couple of months he has taken to sleeping UNDER the 18-month-old’s crib. I have to warn the grandparents when they baby sit. If you go check on the boys, and Kenny’s bed is empty (blankets, pillow, everything) just look under the crib.

    My husband’s advise to any man considering getting a vasectomy is, “Don’t be a pussy. Just get it done.”

  • The_Mrs

    The Mr. and I tried the ‘abstinence’ thing once. We lasted a whole seven days!

    This is the reason we now use birth control: We love each other way too much to not touch each other like that.

  • Renata

    Hey Heather.
    If the bumper thing doesn’t work for you, get a playpen, have a matress custom-made and you’ll all be very happy.
    I did this with my 13-month-old when suddenly he was standing up in his crib and the bar was waist high. That same night he slept in the playpen and he LOVES it!
    Let us know how it goes.

  • http://www.websavymom.com WebSavyMom.com

    –>I know you’re joking (sort of) about the cardboard box but the image of Marlo in a recycled beer box makes me kind of chuckle. Maybe you could put Chuck in one? ;-)

    (Sounds like a mesh bumper is worth exploring.)

  • http://www.survivethemayhem.com SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

    One word; swaddling. We used the “Miracle Blanket” and being swaddled is the only way our little guy would sleep..for months. Worked beautifully. Oh and the sing “thing”? yeah…isn’t it amazing what our young selves were worried about compared to our older/wiser/thinkging-for-ourselves, selves?

  • Kara

    My daughter did the same thing at 4 months and that is when we started swaddling her. Except we didnt call it swaddling, we called it “arm jail.” It only worked for about a month when she got strong enough to pull her arms out, but by then she didn’t roll around or get stuck in the crib slats as much.

  • Anonymous

    Use a pack’n'play (play pen) with mesh sides when you get frustrated. The baby will figure it out eventually.
    Sweet dreams.

  • Anonymous

    get a pack-n-play. they can roll everywhere and nothing to get caught up on/in.

  • http://www.domesticextraordinaire.com Domestic Extraordinaire

    And this is why my girls slept in the pack and play. Its harder to climb out of those as well.

  • http://graceofimperfection.blogspot.com Amanda

    Have you tried the SwaddleMe? (By kiddopotamus, I think–you can get them at Babies-R-Us.) I call them my miracle blankets–it’s like a swaddle, but they can’t wiggle out. It was an absolute LIFESAVER when my then 4-month old was having the same problem as Marlo. We went from no sleep at all, to completely sleeping through the night, like, instantly.

    Ok, enough unsolicited advice for one day. Good luck!

  • http://ripetoday.blogspot.com jennifer

    2 kids, no cribs . . . i could never get past the cage image?? they are just unnecessary. put the mattress on the floor and close the door. the room is the box. simple.

  • Hannah

    I am with you all the way. My solution to the rolling over repeatedly stage was DUCT TAPE. Ha! Just kidding.

    We just rolled up blankets and tucked them next to her on both sides. Easy to do and you don’t have to buy anything new!

  • http://www.yogabitch.blogspot.com/ kristin k

    This is not a hate comment. I LOVE this blog….but that Blackberry ad?? OH MY GOD I can barely even get to your posts and every time you click on a new page it pops up for a few seconds, and even when it pops back it moves the page around (I also have a slow cable connection sometimes, which makes this sheer and utter torture) Also it makes my eyes spin. backwards.

  • Darci

    I have no words for the visuals that have come from this posting. The cardboard title works for either the crib or the bed. You could also institute the Hollywood rule of one foot on the floor at all times.

    Thanks for the chuckle, gauf and snorke all in one morning.

  • http://dustanandbetsy.blogspot.com Betsy

    I hope you are making loads of cash off your Hate site, because those comments aren’t the kind I can laugh easily at. They’re people who spell correctly and sound like they believe what they’re saying, which is really depressing. In the same breath they call you a braggart and ungrateful and it turns my brain into a pretzel.

    All I know is, that Barney mug just took pottery to a whole new level of contemporary genius.

    And P.S., Dooce. Grannies die. Get over it.

  • Margaux

    Unsolicited baby advice: Mesh crib bumper + Angelcare baby monitor

  • Larra

    Love, love your blog (even though I haven’t commented before) but I am ready to maim whoever in the blackberry marketing team designed this ad… it keeps opening up to gigantic size when I haven’t scrolled over it and screwing up the format of your whole site in general. I fully support you making money off your site and ads (as I am wholeheartedly in favor of people getting paid to provide me with entertainment that I do not have to pay for)… but this ad needs to die a slow death.

  • Pat

    Sleep sacks worked well for my girls, but not the boy. He managed to climb out of the crib IN THE SACK at about 8 months. Had he been the first, he’d have been an only child.

  • http://dustanandbetsy.blogspot.com Betsy

    I take back the spelling correctly part – and I have to agree with Larra too. This Blackberry ad is throwing off the format of your page and again, I’m all about you making as much bank as you possibly can off of me and your haters and Al Gore and Peter Frampton.

  • Cindy

    Use firm bumpers and if they don’t work let her sleep in her playpen. My kids slept great in their’s.

  • crikkett

    be careful with the snip-snip… it’s only something like 85-90% effective. We have some good friends that ended up with a surprise third child that way!

  • DawnE


  • Anonymous

    When my boys were in cribs, I used a crib bumper to alleviate that situation. I know I know, I read all of the same studies that you did that said the bumper would lead to them dying a horrid death, but if I had to retrieve another pacifier at 3 a.m., my sons would have suffered the same horrid death.

    I took the mattress out then wove the bumper in and out of the crib slats. (Play around with it — one of the bumpers was a lot longer and I had to weave it a little more, with a shorter bumper I had to weave thru ever 3rd slat or so) Then I pushed the bumper as low as I could, then put the mattress back in. When you do it this way, the bumper only extends about 4-5 inches above the mattress: enough to keep limbs in, not enough to cause you to suffocate your little princess.

    Hope this helps!

  • http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2009/10/secret-beach.html Jacquie

    I hope it’s not too late to tell you that she will suck on the sides of the box until they get soggy enough to poke a limb through, and then you’re right back where you started.

    Don’t ask me how I know this.

  • Laura

    Are you fucking kidding me with that Blackberry ad???

  • David M

    Not to be alarmist, but when our oldest daughter was a year old, I walked into her bedroom and she had grabbed hold of the top rail of her crib and, while I watched, she vaulted out of the crib and onto the floor. It was like watching a gymnastics exhibition, only with more screaming and fear of someone breaking her back and leaving you bankrupt because you only have student health insurance.

    I wasn’t able to find baby handcuffs and leg irons back then, but surely in a more enlightened era they’re readily available.

  • Julie

    PLEASE fix Blackberry ad so it doesn’t appear between posts on the page. And so it doesn’t keep moving while there. ANNOYING. I am going to assume that’s an error of SOME SORT??!! ack.

  • http://moodychick.wordpress.com/ Kari

    My friends and I created a whole line of ‘Ghetto Baby’ products in our minds while sitting around the campfire drinking beer.

    Then we put it into action the next morning while cleaning up camp. One cardboard box. 2 crawling not yet walking babies. Together in a box. Hilarity ensues. Safe hilarity. Plus it’s cheap and portable! Brilliant.

  • http://www.yorubamovies.net yoruba movies

    hehe some of those above comments are just funny

  • Karen

    This entry made me laugh out loud in a very quiet library. I am still having a hard time keeping it in…

    Thanks Heather, you are the greatest at making me laugh from simply reading something on the internet!

  • Christina

    Wrong forum I know but I’m too lazy to open up my email.

    First time commentator,long time reader – what prompted me to write is I DO NOT LIKE the advertisement (as in ad’s in general not the particular one) in between the posts and photos. Always appreciated the ads being off to the side etc. Hopefully this is a one off blip and not the plan for the future. Maybe abstinence is effecting monkey boys work ;-)

  • http://www.d3voiceworks.com d3 voiceworks

    alex, i’ll take pack-n-play or mesh crib bumpers for a thousand, please.


  • stefanie


    Checked the hate comments for the first time.

    Love that you are getting cash outta that shit.
    Good on you- It’d be great if you could find anti-hate organization to donate it.

    Ahhh. And the hate circle closes.

    Thanks for your fearless and funny writing!


  • http://milkact.wordpress.com Stephanie

    Apparently, I slept in a cardboard box until I was several months old and my parents visited my uncle for a few days. He was so horrified at the idea of putting a baby in a box that he went out and bought my parents a Moses basket. My parents thought he was overreacting, but they must have liked it, because they kept the basket and gave it to me when I had my first child. But they still reminisce dreamily about that cardboard box, which, by the way, was also my “car seat” in those early days. THAT, btw, was the only part of the story that horrified me a little.

  • Jillian F

    At the rate Marlo’s going, I can easily see her as this little girl in the next few years… an adorably precocious testament to her dad’s nerd-dom.


    (Favorite parts are 0:34 and 1:20)

  • Dee

    I’d go with the pack and play suggestion if she’ll sleep in it. I bought a mesh crib bumper but the pediatrician told me to get rid of it (and being a paranoid first time mom, I did). So then we put her in a Halo sleep sack which helped a little although she still occasionally gets her legs and arms caught in the bars. And of course now that she’s mastered crawling, she wanders all over her crib and often wakes us up at night because she has her head mashed into the corner. I miss the good old immobile days.

  • Anonymous

    Those ads on your site are really annoying, can’t you do something about them???