• Neyon

    I’ve never had a panic attack, but my husband gets them. So I guess my comments are really for Jon. After he got them for a month, I started recognizing the signs and learned how to talk him down before he got to that panic point. Jon, pay attention to what’s going on before, the look on her face, how she breathes, everything. It is really scary the first few times, and after that, once you know what is happening, you’ll know what to do.

    Heather, all I can say is, don’t take it personally when he’s doing everything he can to snap you out of it. I promise, it is done with love.

  • Caitlyn Nicholas

    I call it The Blob. :)

    Hugs
    Cait
    http://www.caitlynnicholas.blogspot.com

  • Neyon

    I’ve never had a panic attack, but my husband gets them. So I guess my comments are really for Jon. After he got them for a month, I started recognizing the signs and learned how to talk him down before he got to that panic point. Jon, pay attention to what’s going on before, the look on her face, how she breathes, everything. It is really scary the first few times, and after that, once you know what is happening, you’ll know what to do.

    Heather, all I can say is, don’t take it personally when he’s doing everything he can to snap you out of it. I promise, it is done with love.

  • hugsNpuppies

    This post is a good reminder for why I read your blog. Thanks for being so open. Your mother said that you exaggerate a lot, but I think that’s only half true because when you’re in that panic state it’s not exaggerated – that’s how it is for you right then and there. And it’s like that for a lot of other people. Most of us get there and not many admit to it. And it’s not getting any easier if we chose to ignore and not deal with it. Reading your post encourages people to be more honest with themselves. You deserve number 26 and more :-)

    I fell into a deep depression when I weaned my daughter at 10 months old. I was ready to stop breastfeeding, she was ready. I really honestly didn’t fuzz. And yet, it hit me over the head massively, I lost a lot of weight, was skin and bones, couldn’t sleep and couldn’t cope, I sunk into a hole and the only way out seemed to be self-harm. That scared the shit out of me and on a better day I pulled myself out and made a phone call to a help line. It took a long time (years) to get better, but I made it. And this might sound weird but I feel better for having gone through this. It’s made me stronger and better in a lot of ways.

    Lot’s of love!

  • cyncha

    Thank you.
    Thank you for putting the Crazy into words that are not only eloquent and accurate, but that also see the hilarity in all of it.

  • SaraMargret

    Thank you for making the rest of us feel normal for experiencing these things.

    Thanks also for the laughs with all the euphemisms. My husband and I like to say that “The circus is closed because the monkey has a bloody nose.”

  • 1eyedmonkee

    OUCH.

    Was thinking of you today as I was starting to clean my basement like a wild woman after my husband commented on my “low energy level, menopause or the arthritis in your hip or whatever…” and how that leads me to not pay enough attention to his needs. Let’s see: I am the caregiver for my 83 year old mother that lives two hours away and I go there for an overnight once a week. Our daughter just had her first baby (traumatic c-section) and two weeks later moved into her first home. That’s right…I don’t have much going on and choose to IGNORE YOU!!!

    The result of the fit of rage yielded 4 bags of extra garbage and 3 huge boxes of stuff donated. I paused when I came across the vintage Oleg Cassini placemats and cloth napkins from the 70′s thinking, “Didn’t Heather say once that she liked vintage Oleg??” But alas, they have been donated. If it would make you feel better – I’ll wait a week and go to the place and buy them back. I’d do that for you. That’s how much I like you.

    And oh…menopause is it’s own kind of nightmare. Where is normal? What is normal? Where is my center? Hell if I know.

    All the years of ups and downs women have to deal with doesn’t seem fair – except we give life! It grows inside us and we alone can sustain it. That is worth it. But it certainly takes a toll.

  • blytheswideshut

    My first and only baby was born on June 23 2009 – about two weeks (I think) after Marlo.

    Let’s just say that Aunt Flo came a visitin’ 28 days afterwards.

    no one told me about that, but then no one told me my waters would break and I’d be holding my baby less than 2hrs later. epidural? no chance.

    ’nuff said.

  • dizzy comet

    Thank you Heather for giving me a real-life example of what is “worrying” and what is “anxiety-that-needs-some-help.” All my life, I was told I got my “worry” from my mother. I know different now, and your blog contributed to that. I didn’t want to comment before (Holla haters!) but I’ve been reading since 03. Thank you.

  • Bones

    Thank you for the play by play of a panic attack. I had my husband read it so he didn’t feel so alone when he is invited to my world of CRAZY! I am glad you figured out how to calm yourself down before you forced your husband to call 911 while you were sitting on the toilet, your limbs curled up, and your tongue filling up your mouth so you are slurring your words. (yes, my most embarrassing moment).

    Thank you also for making me feel “normal”. I just read your book and have passed it on to my sister. Yep, this crap runs in the family.

  • Bones

    Thank you for the play by play of a panic attack. I had my husband read it so he didn’t feel so alone when he is invited to my world of CRAZY! I am glad you figured out how to calm yourself down before you forced your husband to call 911 while you were sitting on the toilet, your limbs curled up, and your tongue filling up your mouth so you are slurring your words. (yes, my most embarrassing moment).

    Thank you also for making me feel “normal”. I just read your book and have passed it on to my sister. Yep, this crap runs in the family.

  • dmanthei

    Damn hormones. Nothing like adding insult to injury with Aunt Flo, either.

  • tracy

    first: hahahaha ~ shark week!!! that is the best thing I’ve heard in ages!!

    second: I wish I had time to read each & every one of your comments. I know you have a shit-ton of people with nothing better in their lives than to nit-pick every nuance of your life, but I think what’s more important (and so very cool) is the amount of super-supportive readers you have.

    I wish I were lucky enough to have a support group of a million-plus friends.

  • tracy

    first: hahahaha ~ shark week!!! that is the best thing I’ve heard in ages!!

    second: I wish I had time to read each & every one of your comments. I know you have a shit-ton of people with nothing better in their lives than to nit-pick every nuance of your life, but I think what’s more important (and so very cool) is the amount of super-supportive readers you have.

    I wish I were lucky enough to have a support group of a million-plus friends.

  • mommioandretti

    My Aunt Flow returned when my son was 5 months old, and, I was still breastfeeding. No formula and just cereal twice a day…made with breastmilk! Now that’s he’s almost a year old, my pimples are back too. Great.

  • Mookie

    I can’t second Kay enough–Y’all, get your thyroids checked. When I started to have anxiety attacks to the point of feeling suicidal, I went through two good doctors who both told me, “Sorry, you’ve gone crazy.” I finally had to ask to be tested and it turned out my thyroid had gone supernova hyper. Very common for it to happen post-partum especially, up to a year after even.

  • Bones

    Sorry about the double post. I can’t be held accountable when I am helping two of my three chickens with math.

  • Trina

    can we trade husband the next time i’m having a panic attack?

    “oh just relax” is what I get

  • MommaS

    oh. my. I am so sorry this happens to you. I have to say I have never had a panic attack but I did just stop breastfeeding my 9 month old between christmas and new years and guess what showed up yesterday? Yes, she’s back. Now I realize why the mood swings, hello.
    Take care and I love your blog. My sister doesn’t have kids and we chat about what you write and I am constantly saying how right on you are! Keep it up.

  • renaemcalister

    I’m so sorry! I have a 9 month old and a 2 and a half year old and the last year has been very tough. I’ve never had anxiety, but having two boys 19 months apart has done it for me. For some reason I think breastfeeding added to my anxiety, so at 6.5 months I quit. It definitely helped me feel more “free” and I was lucky enough not to get my period back until a few weeks ago. For me, it is crucial to get sleep. I did sleep train my boys, and they sleep 12+ hours at night, but I still wasn’t sleeping good and I would stay up late getting stuff done. When they take their afternoon nap, so do I. I just let whatever needs to be done wait, and I take a break and don’t feel guilty about it. Whenever I feel stress or anxiety I just get in the floor and play with my kids! It WILL get better, hang in there! Oh, and take a day at the spa :)

  • jenspends

    I’m sorry you are going through this. I started suffering from anxiety and depression when I was 10 years old, and I had regular panic attacks during which I was convinced that I was going to die. My coping mechanism was to sip some water. It always helped me to calm down for some reason, I guess because it was something easy I could control, and it reminded me that my body was still functioning…and it forced me to stop whatever else I was thinking about or doing. It sounds like you kind of understand what’s causing your anxiety lately. It’s hard to know why our bodies go into full blown panic mode, but recognizing your triggers is an important step. Sounds like you could really do with some rest and relaxation just to regroup and let your body chill out. Hope you feel better soon!

  • paperbacks1980

    Anxiety issues blow. I’ve had them for about ten years and now, as I’m about to start grad school and move to a new apartment in a new city where I know approximately zero people, they are flaring up again. I just keep going back and forth between “Oh my God, I have no money” to “I’m sure I’m going to forget something in the registration process for school and they’ll kick me out” to “Holy shit, where am I going to put the towels since there is no linen closet in my new apartment???” Irrational? Yes. Reality? Affirmative. I can sympathize.

    P.S. My code words are “Elated night”. That’s what it’ll be when I can finally fall asleep at night instead of spending countless hours worrying about whether people take notes on laptops or notebooks these days…

  • Emy

    The first time Miz Flo came back after I stopped breastfeeding, I felt the exact same way.

    Crippling panic attack. WHY????? WHY, GOD, WHY?????????

    And the next day: Oh. OH. That’s why.

  • ddee

    Bless your heart! I’ve been having panic attacks off and on since puberty (30 years ago), and having the support of loved ones helps tremendously, even if all they do is look at you with concern as you breathe into a brown paper bag. Good luck!

  • Queen Bugaboo

    My cycles post-baby were SO alarmingly different from my pre-baby cycles it was scary. I was lucky that it held off for over a year, but that was because my hormones were building up reinforcements to stage a pretty intense attack. The Crazies have gotten MUCH better since I’ve starting taking a multi-vitamin and vitex. Someone else mentioned vitex and I swear by it. I had run out and figured my body surely had this all figured out by now, right? Wrong. The month without vitex was hell. I hope I never feel like getting in a car accident bad enough to put me in the hospital for a while but not bad enough to kill me is preferable to everyday life again. But everything is dandy now.

    (Also, I am amused that one of the spam-bot preventing words below is “asylums”.)

  • Be Like The Squirrel Girl

    Oh, I’m glad you are ok. I got a little scared just now. Stupid hormones!

    When I was close to weaning, I got serious cabin-fever. But when I tried to go for a walk with my baby, I couldn’t move my feet because they were too heavy. Fortunately, it didn’t last long.

    On the plus side, my libido came back!

  • Cheeky Muffy

    I am so amazed by all of the comments. I can’t believe that so many people feel this way–anxiety, depression, panic attacks, etc. I always think I’m the only one who’s mental. I look at others and think that they have their shit together. Maybe they don’t. Maybe we are all really good fakers.

    For what it is worth, yoga has been a lifesaver for me. It helps me stay in the present moment and breathe.