• ccoffey

    It’s because of school that my children are afraid of the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus. And when I say afraid, I mean like TOTALLY TERRIFIED. Last year, my daughter’s teacher set up a trap for the leprechaun. A trap! My daughter was horrified…like if we catch it then WE have to do something with it. Yeah- well played indeed…

  • itcouldbelove

    As a preschool teacher (of 5-year-olds who were too young for kinder last year) this CRACKS me up. Although, I’m not sure I’ve ever done anything evil like that… because I’m scared of you parents. YOU! PARENTS! Ahem. But still, this made me laugh.

  • kimjay_everyday

    If my kids woke up at 5 AM, I would kill myself – or them. Which, is probably why God, in His infinite wisdom, spared our lives and gave me later sleepers. Props to you, Heather.

  • They made me choose a username

    I think I had something to say until I got stage fright from being possibly one of the first ten commenters. I think I was going to say something about school-fueled holiday escalation and how, as if it weren’t enough for parents to have to keep up the Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy ruses, now we have to help set traps for leprechauns. And yes, leprechauns-and-how-to-catch-them is definitely a growing part of the modern curriculum, if my own kids and nieces and nephews are any indication. Also, my kindergartner believes the Ginger Bread Man is real because she SAW how he disappeared from the oven in the school kitchen and showed up later on the playground. (That one’s pretty cute, actually.)

    (Well, I remembered what I was going to say, but probably lost my top-ten spot. Also, it appears that for me, stage fright causes long rambling comments.)

  • Melina

    I watched the Flintstones ONCE as a kid, and it was episode where Fred and Barney were sitting on lawn chairs and little green men with long arms were snatching at them from beneath the chairs.

    Come to think of it, that does not sounds particularly stone age, but I really remember that was an episode.

    Either way, a lifelong fear of leaving a limb dangling off the bed when sleeping was born.

    And, your comment about the prophet was BRILLIANT!

  • The Prima Momma

    I’m jealous. Where were the leprechauns when I was in grade school? And since when are they cobblers? That’s elves. No wait – elves make cookies in trees… Damn, see how my faulty education is hurting me now?

  • thelearningcommunity

    The worst is that no matter how much you try to tell them that the teacher is just playing a game, and those nightmarish creatures aren’t real, you’ll never hold as much sway as a teacher. I mean c’mon, it’s their job to be honest, right?

    And even if they didn’t teach these things, the kids totally come up with them on their own. We currently have a dog footed goon that walks back and forth in front of the window making shadows and it does occasionally tap. Why dog footed? So its prints blend in with our dogs’ prints and it can’t be detected. Of course. But that begs the question: How can a dog tap? Wouldn’t it be more of a thud, with the hair and all?

  • ehorn

    I used to get anxiety over waking my baby from a nap until we started using an ambient noise maker to make loud ocean waves. I can yell at my cats and throw things at them and to this day those artificial waves drown all that out and she sleeps thru it.

  • smithie1996

    I am so glad you posted this today since tonight I am moving the kiddo downstairs to his new room. I am really really hoping I have timed this right so that he is not really aware that his room is downstairs. I am hoping he is still young enough to be so totally brainwashed into going to sleep at 7.30 that he just won’t care where he goes to sleep. Fingers crossed!


    Oh your kid cracks me up. But I am sorry she is getting up at 5.00.

  • Kendra

    As the parent of a first-grader and a day care provider, I have to laugh. I do see him come home with the strangest comments that I have to talk out again and again, trying to figure out where he got this latest idea. But then, of course, I have to dance my way around fears of falling into the toilet and being eaten by the sharks who live inside (not my fear, that of the kids I watch). So I know what it’s like to be the parent and the caregiver, and neither of us are sure where the kids get these strange ideas.

    I actually have to say congratulations on the 2-nap schedule for Marlo. I found with my kids that before they hit that point, I had no idea whether I could go anywhere at a given time, because the baby may or may not insist that it was naptime and they couldn’t possibly be disturbed or we would all die. Once they hit that point, I could at least say that these times of the day were sacred. It was unfortunate that those times were roughly 10 AM to 11 AM and 1 PM to 3 PM, ensuring that I was never able to venture more than 10 minutes from home. But at least I knew that.

  • hoosiergirl1962

    When I was in kindergarten, we were taught about the Leprechauns being in charge of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We loved the frigging Leprechaun. We played some damn game chasing the Leprechauns. A sidebar about St. Patrick’s Day: My mom, first grade teacher for 41 years, always made a big deal about St Paddy’s Day. A friend of hers, an art teacher, decided to give Mom some “special St. Patrick’s Day coloring music”. He calls me and tells me to show up at 230 at her classroom for a surprise. Long story short, its pretty cool to have first graders coloring leprechaun pictures to the soundtrack of “Sunday, Bloody, Sunday”.
    The art teacher and I were very happy….
    Mother was not amused…

  • Gwenevere

    Hey id you don’t like the leprechaun tradition, you can always homeschool. ;)

  • austinmomof7

    My condolences to you. My two and a half year old is trying to already give up her naps. And still get up at 6am. And still not go to bed till 10 pm. And make my life miserable. Well, more miserable. I’m considering large doses of Benadryl.