LMAO!!! "SHUT. UP." I'm gone again - ahahahhahahahaha!!!

I have to tell a particular BFF about this. Her daughter is my god-daughter and that god-daughter now has a 2.5 year old, and this sounds exactly like something she would do.

I don't know how you kept from cracking up right in the Mr. Burly's face.

My family is a little, um, addicted to The Simpson's. We've all watched The Simpson's Movie - well - let's just say a few times. We've even developed the game "would Bart do it?" and if the answer is yes, you better not.

As such, we all sing the Spider Pig song quite often.

And we find that pretty much every question in our house can be answered with "No you can't, you're a pig."

What? Try it.

So, I'm at tennis practice with my 13 year old. He had a smoothie, and I wanted a sip, and so I said "dude, can I have a sip of your smoothie?" and he responded, in song, with "no you can't! You're a pig!"

I took a big old sip and he smiled at me. And the woman next to me said "I would NEVER tolerate that kind of behavior from my son!"

I started to explain, but the fact is, she just won't get it.

I want a chin implant and lipo for my neck. My chin kind of merges onto my collar bone like a freeway on ramp.
And every bit of extra weight I gain goes to my neck. Every photo taken of me makes me look 100lbs heavier than I actually am. Now I'm no waif, but I'm not morbidly obese either. I want neck lipo and chin injections but first I need $3000. My husband disagrees that this is important.
Your chin makes me break the 10th commandment which prohibits covetousness. I want a chin that could slice meat.

Dude. Is judging people right to their faces in order to ensure you do not get a tip the way you do things in YOUR house? Shut. Up!

(Also: must see the shelves o' charity.)

Hahhaha... yes, those people on youtube ARE real and they will judge the shit out of anyone... even a two year old. Personally, I think I would have cracked up to see a kid reacting like that to a piece of furniture... "shut up!!" I am still laughing. Kids are awesome.

Ah, well...It’s cute when it comes from the mouth of the 2 year old...

My older daughter Ana, who's 9, is a fervent follower of all things "Top Gear". And her favourite if Jeremy Clarkson, so you can imagine what’s coming...

Couple of weeks ago, she had a playdate with a girl she met at skating lessons. When we took her friend back to her home, Ana came out of the car to say goodbye and I started talking with the girl's parents. All of the sudden, Ana goes:"Excuse me, do you know what "cara" and "peach" means in foreign language? It means 'gentlemen’s sausage and "lady's bush"!"

(It’s the "Albanian special" from the latest season of “Top Gear”, the episode we watched only couple of days before...)

To say I went purple and started sputtering explanations is not necessary is it...?

They were very polite, but did say their goodbyes much faster than planned.
Also, I think very soon I'll have to explain to Ana why she's not playing with her friend anymore…

@Daddy Scratches...
Douchesicle=FANTASTIC!

I think you should post a picture of this glorious shelving unit...i'm intrigued. Burly Bookshelf Boy sounds like a total tool.

When I read this, I totally pictured her saying it while doing the Elaine Benes "GET OUT!" shove.

That is a terrifying thought.

I love your kid. That's all.

Too funny! When I taught high school, one of my band students was named a National Merit Semi-Finalist. When called to the principal's office to be told the good news, she replied "SHUT-UP!" The principal, a Catholic Marianist Brother, was so stunned at her response, he just said "Excuse me?" The student regained her composure, apologized and thanked him for the news. He shared the story with a group of teachers later and we were nearly on the floor we were laughing so hard. Fortunately, he had a great sense of humor about the whole thing.

Shut up! I swear I can hear you saying it all the time (even when you don't) in your posts. It's no wonder Marlo uses it as an adjective...and the fooken world needs MORE of that shit, not less! ;o)

I do wonder how involved in the day-to-day child-rearing "the critical moving man" is...I always wonder that about people who spout "rules and regulations" first. Do they see their kids as humans? Or things to be RULED?

Now...off to a meeting. I plan to make Marlo proud by putting her tactics to good use:

"We need to shift our paradigm and create some synergy in our next phase of development. You know, create some REAL buzz."

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" ROTFLMAO!!!!

From the "monkey" reference in the title I thought you were going to say Marlo began climbing the new shelving unit. OH. That will be NEXT! Is that humongous thing bolted to the wall? (seriously)

i haven't read this entry yet. just want to say, as i wear flannel pajama bottoms and a life-is-good tee shirt, that i love the camilla series and have checked out her blog. i'm SO not into fashion as i barely have time for a shower, let alone shopping and hey! those jeans from high school mid-80s fit fine (levi's -- still in style, thank you). i love how she puts it together in (imo) bizarre ways and it looks sleek.

carry on ............

LOL!!!! My kid says SHIT! I'm a terrible mother by those standards.

Oh and picture of the awesomeness please : )