• Caboose.109

    I am so sorry to hear this. You, Jon, and your two girls are in my thoughts. Sending (((hugs))) to you all! Please take care!

  • UpstateNYgal

    My heart hurts.
    I’ve been there and it’s so very, very difficult.
    Keep breathing, keep loving and keep faith.
    I wish I had more wisdom to share, just know that I care ~♥~

  • aliagirl

    My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I am sending positive energy and love your way.

  • jenbarry

    Thinking about your post from today. So much of this is familiar to me, so difficult.

    One thing I learned two years after going through this type of life changing event when my second son was 5 months old, I have come to realize we are all connected. I feel it in a way I would not have noticed if I hadn’t gone through this experience. I have a wonderful community of friends that help me and my ex-husband raise our boys. My definition of family is not in line with the majority of the population. When you let go of the guilt, sadness, etc… I hope you realize it can be what you want it to be. And it will be wonderful for you, your kids, and Jon to lead the life that’s right for you. In the mean time, give yourself a break from the mental chatter AND let people do things for you. Then pay it forward, when you can. Two years, three years, who knows. xo, my heart is with you.

    Jen (TheOneWhoBoiledTheFish)

  • Nutmeg

    Heather, my thoughts are with you. I want to wrap you all up, all you strangers that I love, and protect you from this. Whatever happens, the girls have parents that love them. This won’t ruin their lives.

  • frenchrangoon

    ugh. Much love to you and your family. Remember that we’ll all be here, loving you.

  • irucik

    I hope you find all the time and support you need to get through this…

  • queenofsheba

    This was a beautifully written post on the devastation heartache causes. You have touched more people than you can possibly know. I have never read something as eloquent. Thank you, and you and your family will be in my thoughts.

  • Mel D

    I do not know if you are going to get a chance to read all these comments, but we are all writing because we wish the best for you, Jon, Leta, and Marlo.

    I hope that you and Jon both find what you are looking for… May you have courage and strength during this incredibly difficult time.

  • hamelanie

    I sent this to a friend who was going through a divorce, she said it helped.


    Also, I want you to know that I was glad my parents got divorced and they should have done it sooner. However, it didnt take away the pain and disappointment that I didn’t have a family like the Huxtables. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was because my angry/sad parents were the only thing I knew.

    I now think how much more successful my parent’s relationship is now that they are apart. They no longer hurt each other and can live out their lives in a new way. Isn’t having a successful (parenting or otherwise) relationship more important than having an intact marriage? Hopefully you and Jon can find a new way to have a relationship and that new relationship can be more healthy for all of you.

    We all love you so much.

  • totalxindecision

    Ooof. Warm wishes heading your way.

  • Bones

    So sorry my sweets. I too have been at the girls end of this, which is why so many of your words speak to me. My heart hurts for you. Loves. I will be praying, waiting and reading.

  • erin

    Heather, I am so sorry to hear that you and Jon are struggling. I wish you peace in whatever the future holds for each of you.

  • jearbear

    Thank you for sharing that with us. I’m sad for all of you and so shocked. You and Jon seem to be so perfect together and I hope that you work it out however is best for you both.
    Did not expect to cry when I came over here tonight, but that’s okay because your readers gladly take the sad with the happy because we love you.

  • HeyAves

    Nothing but love, light, and peace flowing your way. To all of you. Be safe. Be well. Know that you and your family are loved by many.

    Best wishes on this leg of your journey.

  • Bluecat33

    I can honestly say that I truly never thought I’d read this post. I’ve read you for years and love you and Jon and Leta and Margo and Chuck (okay, and the pain-in-the-ass that is Coco) like old friends. All I can say is that if you want it to work out with Jon, I hope that’s what happens. If that’s not where you are right now and you’re done, I get that, too. Please know that we are all here for you. Put down the dog leash. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And yes, I know you weren’t going to do it, but it looks like perhaps it was a close call. I’m glad you reconsidered, even though it wasn’t a “real” possibility. Please just keep that in mind. The world would be a much, much poorer place without you, and the void you would leave is certainly both wide and deep. Plus – they would probably be forced to make Coco into horse food, or something, as it were. We love you, unequivocally, all blemishes and warts included.

  • AngleWood

    I hope you are able to find some consolation in these messages tonight. I also hope you are able to find a safe place here to act as your outlet when you need to, just as you always have. Sending so much love and many hugs to you, your girls and Jon. And Chuck and Coco too. I hope your readers are able to give back to you some of the insight and laughter you’ve so freely given to all of us.

  • cmglynn01

    As long as you come up for air, my dear. Much love to you and your family.

  • Plano Mom

    I understand.

    Wish I could be there to hand you a snorkeling mask.

  • ohjennymae

    hugs and shit

  • janelle b

    Stop it! Remember this:

    “There are a few moments between contractions when I open my eyes to see Jon’s arm, and I can barely describe how comforting it is. I can’t see his face, my vision is so cloudy with pain, but I can see his hand and arm. And I guess at one point everyone in the group changes positions to get at better angles on my body, and suddenly I look up and I can’t see the hairy arm! Where’s the hairy arm! GIVE ME BACK THE HAIRY ARM!”

    Wherever he is right now, call him and get back that hairy arm! You two have such a special love. Don’t let it go.

  • gmasig

    Sorry to read this.

    Big Hugs to you and your family.

  • Heather B.

    I am sending you, Jon and your girls so much love right now. You are both good people and we are all rooting for you. I’m out here until Sunday so stop on by. Drinks are on me. xoxoxoxo

  • Siouxzq

    Heather, I am so sorry. Sending lots of love your way. You’re not alone.

  • sweetney

    Big, huge love to you and the girls. You’ll get through this, and you’ll all be better than okay. xo

  • TheSkyIsOverrated

    Relationships get overly complicated at times, but they’re never impossible. You’ll find your way.


  • ccthomson

    Hugs. You’ll get through it all and be stronger because of it.

  • Coyote

    I had four kids between the ages of 2 and 11 when my husband moved out. It was a different life, but it gave me more time to spend with my kids. We had tons of fun, and the love between us seemed to grow and envelop us like a protective cocoon.

    My kids are all grown now, and still doing splendidly, even though their dad and I never reconciled, and I never remarried. That said, I truly hope you and Jon make it through this rough spot in your lives, and find ways to renew and strengthen your marriage. Divorce sucks the big one.

    But, rest assured, your future is bright :-)

  • suesheeme

    Oh my God. I want to hug you now more than ever.

  • Ariedenlove

    Oh Heather. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but this just leveled me reading this. I’m so sorry this is where it’s at right now. I had the man I thought I was spending my life with, walk out the door 6 months ago. Like-up and out and not to be heard from anymore. My kids and I spent a couple months on the floor. Holding yourself together and continuing to parent, to eat. to keep up with the fucking laundry… When the floor’s just falling out… Man o man. It’s a feat. A mother fucking feat. You’re going to be ok. Your babies are going to be ok. This is going to feel like world’s end. And then one day it won’t. Regardless of outcome. I am sending you vibes of a peace you can’t understand. For the ability to continue on with the necessary life/kids/house/work stuff. Make small spaces where you can lose your shit. Or love on yourself. Or get wasted. Just be kind to you. I am hoping the best for your family. Hoping that you two can find a place of understanding.


  • Mom101

    I can only send good thoughts and love. You are strong. Don’t forget it.

  • Kristanez

    Thank you for your courage. My heart is with you both.

  • luv and kiwi

    Oh Heather…I knew something was wrong.

    You have a LOT of people thinking of the two of you right now. I wish nothing but good things for the both of you…


  • cjanducci

    My heart goes out to you. I hate this for you. For us. For every person dealing with this in 2012. I filed papers last week.

    But I love you and here’s why. As I stood in line waiting my turn, sobbing like no one was there, I read your blog on my phone. I needed a distraction. To stop thinking about things for just five minutes.

    In the darkest hour people bring us light, so unintentionally you were my light that day. Thanks for all the years of sharing. You bring so much to so many.

    Thank you. Sending you love and unicorn farts. ( added unicorn farts on my daughter’s behest, but really how could they be bad? )

  • tokenblogger


    How can this be?

    This is the last thing I could ever expect.


    I keep coming back and read it all over again.


  • ChristineHT

    One breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time…

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • ThePeanut

    I’m so sorry to hear this. You guys are in my thoughts.

  • Forest Green

    It is not as if you couldn’t see this coming. Your perfect world is wound up tighter than a clock spring. Sometimes, in trying to achieve so much, we loose it all. Sorry about that bit of tough love. Sometimes we need a reality check. I feel really sorry for you and Jon and the children. I have been following you for years and feel like you are a close friend, so I am devastated by reading your news. Many heartfelt wishes …

  • Emmadoula

    SO sorry to hear. My heart goes out to you, the girls and John. Take as long as you need. Your fans will understand and support you in whatever ways we can. Sending you hugs from afar and hope you will feel this love from us to you.

  • mrs_k

    Love love love to you guys. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope the boundless love and concern and care we (and so many others) have for you can break through the wall of pain, even if it’s just a tiny pinprick of hope. You can get through this.

  • acm


    wishing you space, air, a breather, calm.
    and ground under you when the chaos comes anyway.
    and time and energy to sort things out the way they need to go.

  • theltomyolo

    Sending lots of positive thoughts for you and Jon. I hope you find the resolution that will be the best for your family. Be kind and patient with each other (which I’m sure you will be). Love from London.

  • FeyIndigoWolf

    I’m sorry you and your family are going through this difficult time. I hope you are able to find a way to work through everything.

    My aunt and uncle spent a month apart thinking things through. They got back together at the end of the month and their marriage was stronger for it. I hope the same happens with you guys.

  • jmdinap

    I’m sorry you are facing this. One breath at a time…

  • The Dalai Mama

    Time. A break. Such small word for the struggles inherent in their meaning. You all will figure a way through this. Putting the kids first is the most important step.

    Hugs to you and your family.

  • Shea

    Much love to you and many prayers for you, Heather.

  • Lo The Phoenix

    I hope you both find all that you need, together and apart.

  • Maryse

    I am so so sorry.

  • jg

    Love and strength to you both. Jx

  • WeAre4

    You are very brave Heather. It takes more guts to leave – or ask somebody to leave – than it does to stay. So sorry for all four of you that this is happening. Life is shitty sometimes. Recent pics of the girls are beautiful though, they look happy, so you and Jon are obviously doing a great job at helping them through. Sending positive thoughts from afar.