Please indulge me this juvenile activity. I’m counting on you people to come up with something so sick and diseased that I can’t help but think that the sickness I feel right now is in some way a blessing. I’ll start with a couple of my favorites, the ones I used to repeat over and over at the back of the bus on the way to 7th grade:
Two Siamese twins stuck together by the mouth and one throws up.
Sticking a toothpick underneath your toenail and kicking a wall.