the smell of my desperation has become a stench

What’s Grosser than Gross?

Please indulge me this juvenile activity. I’m counting on you people to come up with something so sick and diseased that I can’t help but think that the sickness I feel right now is in some way a blessing. I’ll start with a couple of my favorites, the ones I used to repeat over and over at the back of the bus on the way to 7th grade:

Two Siamese twins stuck together by the mouth and one throws up.

Sticking a toothpick underneath your toenail and kicking a wall.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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