An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Happy Dooce Got Fired Day

A year ago today I got fired from my job because of my website. And I thought that instead of celebrating with vindictive destructive behavior, like asking everyone to write an email to Her Heinousness inquiring about her recent botox injections, how about I resurrect a past Dooce challenge that many of you may have missed the first time around.

In its former incarnation the challenge consisted of choosing 12 songs and 1 book you’d take with you if you had to flee a nuclear holocaust and/or a second term with George W. And as I got thinking about it, I realized that 12 songs is just too easy. What this challenge needs is a Sophie’s Choice type dilemma: do you choose the socially responsible Bob Dylan song or the Marvin Gaye song that signifies the lusty implosion of your innocence? Could you live with yourself if you forsook the Bee Gees? Choices, people, choices.

I’ll go first, and this was seriously fucking hard:

“Tupelo Honey” by Van Morrison

Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi

  • Your Correction Officer

    # 1!!!

  • da

    “one” by U2

    “i’m just here for the food” by Alton Brown

  • Book: Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, so that I actually have the time to read it and the incentive to stick with it.

    Song: Blue Skies by BT, featuring Tori Amos. Because it just doesn’t get old.

    Also, in honor of Dooce’s Day O’ Liberation, my paper on blogging and employment law is officially submitted to the Columbia Journal of Law and Arts, and since it was almost 95% inspired by Dooce’s experience, I feel the need to share it.

    Enjoy, or not, as you see fit.

  • Song: “Playboy Mommy” by Tori Amos and
    Book: _A Good Man is Hard to Find_ by Flannery O’Connor.

  • “Third Eye” by Tool
    “Wind Up Bird Chronicle” by Haruki Murakami

  • Anonymous

    well if you’re banished, fleeing nuclear holocaust, you don’t necessarily want to be sad every time you listen to your one fucking song, so you might as well be entertained or rawk out, says me.

    “ziggy stardust” by david bowie

    jonathan swift, gulliver’s travels

  • bill clinton

    “you can’t always get what you want” by the rolling stones

    “the starr report” by kenneth starr

  • song: “Flamenco Sketches” by Miles Davis

    book: Airships, by Barry Hannah

  • pinklady

    precious things – tori amos

    cat’s eye – margaret atwood

  • “Won’t get Fooled Again”, The Who

    Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

  • Song
    Death Cab – Stability

    Doctors – Erich Segal

  • strizi

    Song: “into my arms” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

    Book: “The US Armed Forces Nuclear, Biological and Chemical Survival Manual” (admittedly, I looked that one up and haven’t actually read it)

  • renaat

    song: The Time Is Now – Moloko

    book: The Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman – Bruce Robinson

  • wild wood – paul weller
    the Preppie Handbook

  • Hilarious..

  • Song: Five Hearts Breaking, by Alejandro Escovedo.

    Book: (cringingly)The Fellowship of the Ring, by JRR Tolken.

  • “Werewolves of London,” by Warren Zevon, and the Narnia Chronicles by C.S. Lewis.

  • Sunday Kind of Love–Etta James.

    To Kill a Mockingbird–Harper Lee

  • “Little Wing” by Jimi Hendrix

    “Angels in America” by Tony Kushner

  • “The Days Were Golden” Sunny Day Real Estate

    Borges “Collected Works” (or “Ficciones” if that’s cheating)

    but in reality, there’s no way to decide.

  • Song: “The Porpoise Song,” by the Monkees. Don’t diss it ’til you’ve tried it.

    Book: “Blubber,” by Judy Blume. Reminds me of the good ole days.

  • rex

    America by John Fahey and Moby Dick

  • song: “run for the hills” by megadeth

    book: anarchist’s cookbook.

    *you realize, of course, that i am kidding, mr. ashcroft.*

  • Jennay

    Jimi Hendrix “Wait Until Tomorrow”

    Thoreau’s _Walden_

  • Kat

    New poems, by rainer maria rilke, with german on one side and english on the other. song…just one…oh! ‘waldorf world wide’ by good charlotte.

  • Jessie Street

    A one hump camel makes a one hump poop, and a two hump camel makes a two hump poop!

    Only Kidding!!

    My 4 year old and I read that book twice a night! Ha hahahaha that’s hilarious!

  • Song: “YATTA!”
    Book: The Beatles Anthology (I can listen to all their songs in my head)

  • Tom

    If forced to choose one and only one song, I would take none. I can’t think of worse torture than having to choose one song that I’d want to listen to for eternity. Better to remember the songs I’ve heard than erase them from my head with song over and over and over.

    Book? The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Don’t panic.

  • speedo

    “Hounds of Love” by Kate Bush
    “Walden Pond” by Henry D. Thereau

  • SONG:
    “How’m I Gonna Sleep” by Neil Finn

    Nobody’s Fool by Richard Russo

  • Song: Destiny’s Child’s Bootylicious

    Book: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

    How Heavy is that?

  • aghast

    Good lord, speedo–you really want to listen to nothing but Kate Bush’s “Hounds of Love” for the rest of your life? I’d think the holocaust would be preferable.

  • song: biebl’s ave maria

    book: tess of the d’ubervilles – thomas hardy

  • Shawn

    My 3 year old has Everyone Poops memorized. We read it every time he was on the potty (along with The Story of Farts), now he “reads” it to himself.

  • se

    “Mood Indigo”, Nina Simone

    _Naked_, David Sedaris (which actually has a great story about poop.)

  • “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty
    “A Prayer for Owen Meany” by John Irving

  • Sarah totally beat me to this one. But you did say ONE book, and I did have ONE in mind.
    “The Magician’s Nephew,” C.S. Lewis
    “California Stars,” Wilco

  • P.S. Happy Dooce Got Fired Day.

  • No song: my guitar
    No book: paper and pencil

    So I can write, sing and play my own songs limitlessly.

    Never could abide by stringent rules.

  • Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris

    Song: You’re Still Standing There – Steve Earle & Lucinda Williams

    ’cause nobody can twang like them. And I mean nobody.

  • Kate

    Sarah B.’s a cheater! Sarah B.’s a cheater! Kidding.

    I can’t believe you said “Tupelo Honey,” which makes me melt…that and “And it Stoned Me.”

    That said, my choices:

    “Crimson and Clover” by Tommy James and the Shondells (a little sparse on lyrics, but that’s what the book’s for).

    “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut. Hey, if it’s the end of the world, might as well enjoy yourself reading about your sad situation.

  • I didn’t cheat! They totally sell them all in one big book now. If I had to just pick one, though, I think I’d go with “The Voyage of the Dawntreader,” because inside, I am forever nine.

  • “Wild is the Wind” by David Bowie(the BBC version). I sigh and get all swoony every time I hear him warble.

    Slackjaw, I’d have to agree with you. If there was only one book in the world I could read, it would be Lord of the Rings.

  • Kate

    Much better, Sarah B. Miss Mea-Mea, now you’re cheating too (I think I’ll be the class tattletale for the day). One book, not all three! That’s like saying your favorite movie is the Godfather Trilogy.

    I’m actually reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader right now… the boyfriend bought me the boxed set since I hadn’t read it since I was 12. I forgot how annoying Eustace is. It’s making me want to rip the pages out of my book.

  • SONG:
    “Don’t Look Back In Anger” by Oasis

    The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

  • speedo

    Points to consider:
    1. I do not recall inviting you into my cave during the nuclear event.
    2. I am very old and do not have long to live.
    3. I only care what dooce thinks.
    Thank you for caring and sharing.

  • Oh, goody! I get to be all super-dweeb now.

    Kate, actually the Lord of the Rings is one big book. It’s what Tolkien intended. Think of it as having three parts.

  • I’m gonna have to go ahead and say Echo by Incubus and the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It’s kinda cheating, but I have them all in one book so it still counts, right?

  • XWG

    Song = Dixie (ohh i left mah heart in dixie awayyyy awayyyyyy)

    Book = Bush at War (even the liberal that wrote it had something positive to say)

  • EC

    Song: “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears

    Subscription to Martha Stewart Living (I honestly believe this would be possible during Nuclear Holocaust and or GW.)

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more