the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Ma ma ma ma, ba!

Yesterday the only adult conversation I had in an eleven hour period was a 30 minute phone call with my friend, Beth. When Jon got home from work I nearly leapt on him and started barking COMPLETE NONSENSE into his ear for over an hour, things like there was a stain on the floor and I cleaned it up, and oh, Leta had only one poopy diaper, and you should have seen the contestants on “Pyramid” today. I didn’t take a breath until I got to the part about how I had Grape Nuts for lunch.

I bet he can’t wait to come home from work tonight. I need to tell him about how I filled up the dog’s water bowl, like, four times!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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