the smell of my desperation has become a stench


NOTE TO SELF AND INTERNET: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat 20 spicy buffalo wings for dinner when you had very light lunch else you will find you and your accomplice in wing consumption the next morning in separate bathrooms SHITTING YOUR BRAINS OUT while the baby sits on the bed and screams wondering where the hell everyone went.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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