the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The third law

After Leta threw a volcanic fit over the fact that she couldn’t get a stack of Cinderella Princess playing cards arranged exactly as they had come out of the box I casually asked her if she wanted to go night-night. She had at least another hour before her scheduled nap time, but I figured that if I brought up the nap she would whip herself out of the tantrum and assure me that WHAT? ME? TIRED? NO I’M FINE. SEE? LOOK AT HOW WIDE AWAKE AND HAPPY I AM.

Instead she looked up at me with giant round tears in her eyes, nodded her head and said, “Night-night.” Jon and I took her back to her room, dressed her in a clean diaper and set her in her crib. Before she flopped down she looked up again and blew us kisses. Within a minute she was snoring.

For every force there is an equal and opposite force, and having your child not only want to take a nap but also to ask for it? Newton never bargained for the physics of such a phenomenon. In that moment I expected a house to fall on my head.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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