This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Fueled entirely by Advil

Best thing about Austin so far: all the barbecue-soaked meat. And how neatly it fits into my mouth.

We’re still here in Texas, and I have a few engagements I have to run off to here in a second, and then tonight is the last night we get to pretend we don’t have children, and Jon is just praying that there doesn’t come that moment where he has to stand behind me and hold my hair as I lean lovingly over a toilet. Come on, that’s only happened one or twice or maybe 30 times.

Yesterday was my big presentation with Maggie, and I feel really good about it, especially since I got to sneak in a mention about HOW MUCH I LOVE BALLS! And when I said that into the microphone Jon who was sitting in the front row maneuvered his right hand into the shape of a gun, pointed it at me and then winked. Like, HE’S WELL AWARE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE BALLS. THANKS FOR TELLING THE WORLD, WOMAN.

So we’re missing the kid and the dogs like crazy, I’ve called my mother 100 times to check on Leta, and then there’s this webcam at the kennel where Chuck and Coco are staying. And we’ve checked that webcam over and over again trying to catch a glimpse of either dog, and up until this morning we hadn’t spotted them once. And Jon was about to close his computer when the webcam refreshed, and I am not even making this up, we saw Chuck standing in the middle of the room, and then four seconds later when the webcam refreshed again, Coco was there hanging on Chuck’s neck. We waited for another refresh, and wouldn’t you know, four seconds later she was still dangling from the side of his face.

We both made some embarrassing noises and then Jon said, “God, why do I miss that awful dog?”

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