Heater, Mother of Lance

To replace the other song you had stuck in your head

Get ready for the most fantastic 35 seconds of your life:

I have watched this video over 40 times this morning, stopping each time to cherish the look on the guy’s face at about 24 seconds in. And it gets better every time.

This video is about so much more than a simple bidet, it’s a challenge. It’s asking you if your life is fulfilling. No really, is it? Because if you’re not making faces like these at least once a day YOU DON’T KNOW FULFILLING.

(thank you, Bucky)

195 Comments
  • Miss Peas

    2008/04/21 at 10:21 am

    I don’t know, that’s exactly how I look after a trip to the bidet.

  • Courtney

    2008/04/21 at 10:21 am

    Wow. Hilarious! And how appropriate, it’s asking me to type in the words “again flushing” to prove I’m a human!

  • stephanie

    2008/04/21 at 10:21 am

    I wanna loo, too. I think.

  • Brandy in Canada

    2008/04/21 at 10:23 am

    Japan has a really weird fetish with high tech toilets..which makes me want one real bad.

    Oh and yep that song has now replaced the Miami Vice theme that has been in my head all morning! and this one I can sing!!

  • Michelle

    2008/04/21 at 10:23 am

    Looks like a pretty orgasmic bidet.

  • Undomestic Diva

    2008/04/21 at 10:23 am

    Holy effing shit.

    I knew there was something missing in my life and now I know it’s got to be the LOO-LOO.

    Looks to me like the loo-loo puts the FILL in fulfillment.

  • Stephanie

    2008/04/21 at 10:24 am

    so much better than the 5 dollar foot long song.

  • Nils

    2008/04/21 at 10:26 am

    Hell – those are POOP faces. My LooLoo faces would be MUCH better.

  • Lisa

    2008/04/21 at 10:27 am

    Yeah, whatever. You’re not really anal, you know, unless you have a bidet. Sorry to burst your bubble.

  • Kelly

    2008/04/21 at 10:29 am

    Ummm, I don’t think those are poop faces.

  • squirl

    2008/04/21 at 10:30 am

    I want one of those!

  • Adiel

    2008/04/21 at 10:33 am

    Thanks for putting a little sunshine into my not so good day. This may have been the first time that I’ve smiled today.

  • Lissa

    2008/04/21 at 10:34 am

    Oh, thanks oodles. Now I want to swan around the apartment wiggling my hips and shaking my fingers all jitterbug style…to a song from a Japanese bidet commercial. No, my life wasn’t NEARLY surreal enough, THANKS. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

  • PixelFish

    2008/04/21 at 10:34 am

    Does the bidet come with the laugh track too? Because that’s what I’m missing in the toilet.

  • Anonymous

    2008/04/21 at 10:35 am

    Did you know that one of the most popular games in Japan is to try to stick your finger in somebody’s butt?

  • Tim

    2008/04/21 at 10:35 am

    The other song I had stuck in my head was the princess song.

  • Big Momma Pimpalishisness

    2008/04/21 at 10:37 am

    But can you imagine the mess of water to clean up on the bathroom floor every time your LooLoo shoots you in the ass? I’m not sure it’s worth it… 😛

  • Mari

    2008/04/21 at 10:38 am

    Damn, I missed it. Now it says video is no longer available.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    2008/04/21 at 10:38 am

    I think I would be singing my own spontaneous song if I sat on a bidet. Maybe it would coax some of those high notes out of me.

  • Mari

    2008/04/21 at 10:39 am

    Okay, it’s working now. This must be a Japanese commercial, right? Hilarious!

  • Anonymous

    2008/04/21 at 10:40 am

    @Brandy in Canada and Lissa: It’s a Korean commercial.

    I would die if a commercial like this popped up on my television set. If only…

  • CindyM

    2008/04/21 at 10:41 am

    Wow–just when you thought it was safe to go back on the toilet. First people have to worry about their spouses finding love online through sex chats–now we need to monitor how much time they spend in the crapper in case they’re cheating on us with a bidet. 😉

    Hilarious video, Heather. Thanks for the laugh!

  • Erica

    2008/04/21 at 10:41 am

    I have no words.

  • Phil

    2008/04/21 at 10:42 am

    Who knew that the secret to happiness could be found in a bidet? I bet even the Dalai Lama has one of these puppies.

  • Kim

    2008/04/21 at 10:47 am

    That reminds me of the time that I visited Japan and I couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet. It was so high tech, I ended up pushing the bidet button and I couldn’t turn it off. The family that I was staying with laughed at me for days.

  • KFJ

    2008/04/21 at 10:48 am

    That guy’s look is freaking priceless!!!! However thought that much joy could come from a bidet!!!! HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

  • kristi

    2008/04/21 at 10:49 am

    How sad that you were right — that may have been the best 35 seconds of my life…

  • Kelly

    2008/04/21 at 10:49 am

    Well. Huh. That’s something…else. We’re potty-training over here, do you think the my 2 year old would dig it?

  • Rochelle

    2008/04/21 at 10:51 am

    Think how much toilet paper is saved. That’s the real reason they’re smiling!

  • Muriel

    2008/04/21 at 10:52 am

    Won’t we forever have “LOO LOO!” as a great line…

    But, you have to give it to the advertisers, they’ve sold me; I want a toilet like that!

  • Becky..Absent Minded Housewife

    2008/04/21 at 10:53 am

    I miss the Sears Catalog days. Now those were exciting.

  • Ana

    2008/04/21 at 10:55 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GN_Qv79nnI

    Because even Leta can enjoy Japanese potty videos! 🙂 Enjoy!

  • Tootsie Farklepants

    2008/04/21 at 10:58 am

    It would eliminate the need for toilet paper. Gives “going green” a whole new meaning. If I had one of those I’d be going to the bathroom all the time. Sometimes twice. in. a. row.

  • Brittany

    2008/04/21 at 10:58 am

    I’m not sure if I even have words for this. All I can really say, is it looks going to the bathroom has just become quite orgasmic looking. Ok, so that sentence has officially frightened me.

  • KathyM

    2008/04/21 at 11:01 am

    I’d be sold too, except I’d be worried about hitting my head on the ceiling whenever I used it.

  • Lilith Sativa

    2008/04/21 at 11:02 am

    That was fabulous, I now know what I want in my home. A loo-loo. Can’t wait to inflict that ear candy on the husband when he gets home. Thanks for sharing this Dooce.

  • sara

    2008/04/21 at 11:08 am

    My husband wants one of these so bad! When he describes how it works he gets really excited about it.

  • LlamaBait

    2008/04/21 at 11:12 am

    Yeah, but does it clean itself? Huh? Huh? Does it? Because the only bathroom appliance that will give me that face is a self-cleaning bathroom appliance.

  • anne

    2008/04/21 at 11:13 am

    Clearly I am missing the best part of life by not owning a Loo-Loo. Maybe I would have a 24-seconds face, too.

    Awesome video, Dooce.

  • Sheryl

    2008/04/21 at 11:16 am

    Oh my God – my brother-in-law brought one of these to our Christmas gift exchange, and he was hoping that I would get it. I was mortified at the time but it we wouldn’t have had to get a larger toilet I might have gone for it.

  • sassykk

    2008/04/21 at 11:20 am

    I sell the shit out of those things! (pun intended) Seriously, I do. I own a high end plumbing showroom and people LOVE their bidet seats. I LOVE mine too! And yes, it cleans the wand before and after each use with hot water so it’s sanitary between users. TOTO makes them and they call them “washlets”

  • naia

    2008/04/21 at 11:20 am

    this is really popular in korea and it’s definitely catching up here in the states. i went to a dinner at a friend of friend’s house in la and they had a similar toilet. i was kinda scared to use it… afraid of pushing the wrong button, but now i see i really should have given it a try. i missed out!

  • Kritter Krit

    2008/04/21 at 11:22 am

    My three-year old daughter’s response after watching it…

    “Mommy, are those people happy…or sad? Or just weird?”

    I told her they were full of LOO! Amazingly enough, she nodded, like that cleared everything up.

  • Melanie

    2008/04/21 at 11:23 am

    What a riot! Unfortunately, the volume in my headphones was up too high and that happy little ditty is now permanently implanted in my ear.

  • Reba Frock

    2008/04/21 at 11:27 am

    That is just weird, but if I can get the same reaction, I’m in for sure.

  • andrea

    2008/04/21 at 11:28 am

    Loo-Loo does clean off the poo poo! Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

  • SuzieQ

    2008/04/21 at 11:28 am

    NOW YOU DID IT!! All YOU had to do was mention a song in the head and it put the “HIPPO FOR CHRISTMAS” right back in MY head..

  • Datingatforty

    2008/04/21 at 11:28 am

    If that was the most fantastic 35 seconds of my life, it’s obviously only because I don’t have a bidet. YET.

  • starshine

    2008/04/21 at 11:28 am

    You’re right! That face is awesome! Is it joy? Is it pleasure? Is it Pee Wee Hermann?

  • Therese

    2008/04/21 at 11:29 am

    That 24-second-in face? Grade-A O face.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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