the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Newsletter: Month Fifty and Fifty-one

Dear Leta,

Tomorrow you turn fifty-one months old. If you are reading these in chronological order you will probably notice that the newsletter for month fifty has gone missing. Yeah, about that. Would you believe me if I told you Coco ate it? You’d have to because Coco eats everything. Just this week she ate both the arms and legs off the new Barbie doll that my mother gave you, and when I found her chewing those limbs I secretly hoped you wouldn’t notice. But that’s not what happened at all. You noticed immediately and were so enraged that YOU PULLED YOUR OWN HAIR. After several hours of wailing and head-butting the floor you walked up to me, put the legless and armless nub into my hands and said, “Grandmommy is going to be so mad at that dog.” And you used a tone that suggested it was less of an observation and more of a warning that Coco might want to draw up a will.

But no, Coco did not eat that specific newsletter. What I could do here is come up with some elaborate excuse for why it wasn’t ever written in the first place, but I know you’re the type of person who doesn’t want to hear all that crap. I got busy. Life sort of turned on its head at the beginning of last month and I just didn’t get to it. It was the first time that has ever happened since I first started writing these letters to you at the beginning of 2004, and I apologize. I can’t promise that it won’t ever happen again, but I have a feeling that if you get arrested in high school for spray-painting a giant four-letter word on the wall of the cafeteria it won’t be because month fifty is missing from your newsletters. It will be because your father and I didn’t do a good enough job of teaching you how not to get caught. Take my advice now: blame a cheerleader.

This newsletter is going to be a little different and not just in terms of it having to make up for a lost month. A lot has happened in the last few weeks that I feel I should address publicly, and the majority of it is not amusing. Usually I like to spend these paragraphs regaling you with stories of your hysterical antics so that in the future you can read about what a uniquely challenging and funny kid you were, and maybe one day it will explain why your own child screams so much and how it’s perfectly normal to daydream about dangling that kid over a pool of hungry sharks. 15 years from now you’re going to read this paragraph, here where I tell you that your favorite thing to say is DONKEY BELLIES, and whenever you say knock-knock, and I say who’s there, you scream DONKEY BELLIES, and then you gasp for air as the giggles get lodged in your throat, you’re going to read this and then call me and go THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT DONKEY BELLIES. And then you’re going to ask me for money.

But I guess there are some people who are very uncomfortable with the fact that I and many other women are writing about our children on our websites. How dare we violate your privacy like this, how dare we endanger you like this, we obviously care more about ad revenue than what this is going to do to your adolescence. And I have been asked countless times if I am at all worried that you will totally resent me for the details I have shared here. Of course you will you resent me. I have no doubt that you will spend years of your life resenting me and being embarrassed that we have the same last name, despite the fact that I have and will spend years of my life writing love letters to you on the Internet. Despite the fact that I have declared to millions of people that you are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to my life.

You will resent me for your curfew and the fact that I will not let you leave the house in that mini-skirt. You will resent me for showing up to your school in my pajama bottoms and for raising my hand in a PTA meeting when I hadn’t brushed my hair. You will text message your friends to tell them that I am the most horrible person on the planet because I’m forcing you to study for your exam in the morning. You are going to think that I cannot possibly understand what you are going through, and you will slam the door in my face.

Will you resent me for this website? Absolutely. And I have spent hours and days and months of my life considering this, weighing your resentment against the good that can come from being open and honest about what it’s like to be your mother, the good for you, the good for me, and the good for other women who read what I write here and walk away feeling less alone. And I have every reason to believe that one day you will look at the thousands of pages I have written about my love for you, the thousands of pages other women have written about their own children, and you’re going to be so proud that we were brave enough to do this. We are an army of educated mothers who have finally stood up and said pay attention, this is important work, this is hard, frustrating work and we’re not going to sit around on our hands waiting for permission to do so. We have declared that our voices matter.

These are the stories of our lives as women and they often include you, yes. Am I endangering you by posting pictures of you? Many people think so, but then they’d have to admit that when I take you to the grocery store I am exposing your face to hundreds of strangers, people who can see what car we drove up in, the license plate number, and the direction we head home. Maybe we shouldn’t ever leave the house, otherwise? STRANGERS WILL KNOW WHAT WE LOOK LIKE. Worse? They will know I prefer Tampax to the generic brand.

Am I violating your privacy? If keeping 95 percent of what goes on in your life off limits in terms of what I write on my website, then yes, I am totally invading your privacy. And what about that time I wrote about your poop, aren’t you going to be mortified when your classmates read about that in sixth grade? Leta, I stopped writing about your poop many, many months ago, and chances are that all the kids you’re going to know in sixth grade will have spent the first three years of their lives shitting their pants, too. Oh wait, THAT’S WHAT HUMANS DO. WHO KNEW.

Finally, I’ve seen it suggested in my inbox and by various critics online that what we do on our websites is egotistical and exploitative. Some even refer to it as child abuse. I know I am not alone when I say that when I sit down to update my website I do it to connect with other people, I do it to reflect on the absurdity of everyday life with the hope that the people who read it will find similarities in their own routine. I did not know that wanting to be a part of a community qualified as egotism.

Some of our websites make us money, yes, money that puts food on our table, pays for preschool and helps pay for utilities. Sometimes we even use this money to pay for more unnecessary things like computers or manicures or purple ceramic hippos, and this in particular is something people grab hold of to try and twist what we’re doing into something gross and ugly. And try as they might, I will not be discouraged from continuing to document the beauty of life with my family or supporting them with an income from doing so. Leta, some people will one day try to convince you that what I’ve done here is some sort of sickening betrayal of your childhood, and what those people fail to recognize is that I am doing the exact opposite. This is the glorification of your childhood, and even more than that this is a community of women coming together to make each other feel less alone. You are a part of this movement, you and all of the other kids whose mothers are sitting at home right now writing tirelessly about their experiences as mothers, the love and frustration and madness of it all. And I think one day you will look at all of this and pump your fist in the air.

Love,
Mama

1,181 Comments
  • Anonymous

    2008/05/02 at 7:49 pm

    It’s not that I think you’re wildly off here, or that what you do is abusive blah blah blah.

    But I do think it a little bit overlooks the fact that just as you (and Jon) are making choices you’re comfortable with, just as you are your own person, entitled to feel however you feel…

    Leta is her own person. She’s going to grow up and surprise the heck out of you. She may or may not line up with what you’ve stated above. She may think this website is the greatest thing that ever happened to her; she may find it silly and embarrassing; she may feel like her childhood was used for gain in a way that is really hurtful to her.

    You and her dad don’t get to decide that for her. (But, naturally, neither does anyone else.)

  • jennielynn

    2008/05/02 at 7:50 pm

    Thank you for saying this. It absolutely needs to be screamed from the rooftops. I can’t wait to her you speak in July!

  • Leslie in Toronto

    2008/05/02 at 7:50 pm

    I am lost for words. You rock.

  • libby

    2008/05/02 at 7:53 pm

    I would have loved it if my Mother had chronicalled my early life moments. She was a single parent working two jobs, going to college at night, and raising two young girls. I penned most of my baby book with her sample Avon lipsticks. Now, I beg her to tell me stories all of the time. Basically, you have saved yourself time in the future (!) now you don’t have to remind her of the time she stole a magazine about cars to impress a boy she liked in second grade or when she ate the (thank God) generic powdered dish detergent and had to induce vomiting. The internet is all about saving time.

  • Janet

    2008/05/02 at 7:54 pm

    To not have a parent who cares is much worse. She is lucky.

  • Kristi

    2008/05/02 at 7:55 pm

    *Fist pump* Yeah!!

    Heather, I am so delighted to see you address this kind of talk that I have known for years is going on about you and other mama-bloggers. The garbagey, narrow-minded, mean and spiteful things those people say…those things slow me down, they stop me, they scare me. Thank you thank you thank you for not letting those things stop you, because knowing that you are out there, that Leta is out there, that the two of you are loving, challenging, imperfect, overjoyed, overwhelmed, underexperienced, that you can glory in the absurdity and rail at the indecency and all the while keep loving and celebrating your daughter, your family, and motherhood, woman, you have kept me going and given me hope and made me a little bit stronger and a little bit braver and I cannot thank you enough. I’d call you my hero, but that makes you sound other than human, and it’s your humanity that means so much to me. Thank you.

  • Stenar

    2008/05/02 at 7:56 pm

    What you write on this blog is AWESOME! I wish my mother had written half as much about what it was like raising me. She wrote a handful of sentences in her diaries about funny things we did as kids and we treasure those things.

    I also think it’s wonderful that you are able to make a living through your blog so you have many, many more hours of free time in your day to actually spend with your child raising her. My mother was a single mother who worked hard and was exhausted at the end of the day to spend much time with us.

    KUDOS to you!! 🙂

  • Shaun Paddock

    2008/05/02 at 7:57 pm

    I will never understand how people can CHOOSE to read our blogs and then make stupid judgements on the content. When I fist started my blog, I had a few people who said that my “son’s hair was disgusting! How can you do that to them?” Another women said that their hair, “gives an impression of bad hygiene”. I happen to be proud that my sons are hippies, are on the honor roll, where tie dye, listen to the beatles and are the nicest kids I know. Yes, they were a little crazy when they were little and I wanted to sell them to the gypsies many times; thank goodness they outgrew those antics.

    Leta is a very, very lucky little girl to have you for her mother and Jon for her father. She is also so beautiful. She is starting to look so grown up.

    Keep doing what you do, you made me laugh and cry tonight.
    Shaun

  • Sarah

    2008/05/02 at 7:57 pm

    Wow, Heather, POOR YOU.

    Rarely do I see both defensiveness and passive-aggression rolled into one entry…even in an entry meant as a paen to your child!

    Learn a lesson…you have things pretty well. (I’ll say I have things pretty well, too. And let’s leave the mental health stuff off the table, we all have our sorrows.)

    Did you ever see the film Broadcast News? William Hurt’s character, a pretty-boy TV anchor sailing through life, says:

    “What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?”

    Albert Brooks, who plays a ridiculously intelligent but generic-looking reporter going nowhere with the network, replies:

    “Keep it to yourself.”

  • anna

    2008/05/02 at 7:57 pm

    thanks so much for this heather.
    i’m a single 27 year old woman who has been struggling with mental health issues for a long time. until i read your blog, i had not heard anyone tell their story publicly about mental illness and hospitalization. the fact that you are a mom and have gone through what you have gone through is important. the fact that you are a mom and have shared it with young women like me is revolutionary. so thanks.

  • all things bd

    2008/05/02 at 7:58 pm

    Amen.

  • kelly

    2008/05/02 at 7:59 pm

    You aren’t doing anything that mothers haven’t done for centuries end upon end, except that you’re doing it better.

    And if you can’t make money off of something you like to do and something you’re good at, then by God, we don’t live in the America I thought we did.

  • Terri Sinclair

    2008/05/02 at 8:01 pm

    I will never understand people who spend precious time writing you about what a dysfunctional mother/family/parent you are. It makes me sick.

    I was a single mom at a time when there weren’t many single moms. It was so hard and I was so alone. I wish there was an internet. I wish I knew there were other women, like myself, who also felt afraid and alone. You’ve done for early motherhood what I wish someone had done for single moms.

    What’s the difference if you tell your story on a blog or write it in a book? Memoirs and autobiographies have been around forever.

    Is it because you make money? I will never understand where all the judgment comes from. Who are these people? Where do they come from? What have their parents done to them that they are so bitter and unnerving? Nevermind, I don’t really care as long as you don’t and you keep writing.

  • Laura

    2008/05/02 at 8:03 pm

    Absolutely touching-your soul was bared and it was a beautiful thing.

    Thanks for the fresh perspective on motherhood-I now want to wake up my 21 month old and hold him 🙂

  • Jannie Sue

    2008/05/02 at 8:03 pm

    I personally blog about and post so many pix of my angel Kelly because my friends and family are all so far flung around the planet — what better way to keep everyone updated.

    Give the whackos heck, Heather and write on!

    Jannie

  • Heather Angele

    2008/05/02 at 8:04 pm

    Hell, yeah, Heather! Very well said. Good for you! One day Leta will read this and realize that her mom is actually a total badass and she’ll thank you for being strong and independent. Leta will grow up into a strong woman and she’ll have you to thank. Keep it up. You’re doing a great job!

  • Anonymous

    2008/05/02 at 8:05 pm

    AMEN!!!!!!! Preach it sistah Heather!!!

  • Mainline Mom

    2008/05/02 at 8:07 pm

    Oh my god those eyes…they are lethal weapons that will surely kill someone someday. Thank you so much for affirming the reason we moms “endanger” our children by writing about them publicly. And I know exactly how you feel about how wonderful having a four year old is. Yesterday I had a 15 minute conversation…a dialog(!)…about his food preferences. Amazing.

  • Sarah who is not affilated with asshole Sarah above

    2008/05/02 at 8:08 pm

    Heather,

    I have been reading your website for about a year now. Today you made me want to stand on my chair and scream “BRAVO!” Usually you make me laugh, occasionally scratch my head. You are right. We are being heard. Motherhood is not easy and we do not get the respect we deserve. I too work from home. I too know people think I sit at home eating bon-bon’s while watching Oprah and hoping my 4 children do not burn the house down. The truth? I work MY ASS OFF! And I love every single minute of it.

    On the surface your life sounds pretty damn easy and fabulous. Working from home, trips to the beach, shopping at places I cannot afford to walk into. However, if I have learned anything in life I have at least learned that nothing is ever as easy as it appears on the outside. Nothing. Period.

    On a more personal note, I have left “The” church and seeing 2 other lovely people who have done the same and have not been consumed in flames is comforting.

    Lastly, if you never wrote another word about Leta I would still find your website entertaining. For that reason I do not feel you are using her for your own gain. And even if you were…well…I bet some of these women bashing you have kids in pageants or would jump at the chance to get one on tv. In my irrelevant opinion you are doing nothing wrong. It’s not like you’re raising a wild animal while you sit in Wyoming unemployed and ask for donations for shits sake!

    Love, Internet

  • Lyz

    2008/05/02 at 8:08 pm

    That child is gorgeous. I hope her father is prepared.

    Oh, and by the way…

    *fist pump in air*…

    Write on, Heather, write on.

  • Ann from Montana

    2008/05/02 at 8:11 pm

    Beautiful post and wonderful legacy to your daughter and your family.

    I read Dooce and Blurbomat and am continually impressed and also envious of your family – the fun, respect and love come shining through.

    Thank you for allowing the look into your life, for sharing the gorgeous and fun photos of you, your daughter, your husband and of course, Chuck and Coco.

    And even though I am not a parent, I often read things in your writing that make me feel less alone and more a part of.

    Well done!

  • Anonymous

    2008/05/02 at 8:12 pm

    Hey Sarah ~ comment #259 ~ get a CLUE woman. You admit you have it “good” too – if you don’t like what you read, don’t read it. I’m reading jealousy with a capital “J” between the lines of your comment. If you can’t be happy for someone else who’s doing well, perhaps you should spend more time working on your own life….

  • Anonymous

    2008/05/02 at 8:13 pm

    amen, sista’ friend..

  • Heather's Garden

    2008/05/02 at 8:14 pm

    You could be a perfect Stepford mother and never make a single mistake and someday Leta would resent you for being blonde, having a southern accent, or being thin. Show me a woman who doesn’t hate her mother at least a little bit and I’ll show you a liar. Don’t even get me started on the teenage years — how did any of us survive them?

    I love your monthly newsletters and I missed #50. I feared that the hate wagon would show up at your door when you made the WSJ. I’m a suspicious northeasterner and I have never worried about Leta’s safety. Ignore the haters, you’re doing a good thing here.

  • Erika Jurney

    2008/05/02 at 8:16 pm

    Yes, hell yes. Sing it.

  • Erin N

    2008/05/02 at 8:17 pm

    She is looking so grown up =) Good luck!

  • Toni Mehraban

    2008/05/02 at 8:19 pm

    I think the pictures in this newsletter are the prettiest ones I’ve seen of Leta.

  • K.H.

    2008/05/02 at 8:19 pm

    I’ll be honest. Sometimes I’m envious of what you’ve been able to do for your family through this blog. I wish that my own work had brought me the same success. But I know I couldn’t hack the vicious criticism you face daily without burying myself in my bedsheets and never coming out again. So kudos to you for not giving a shit, because what the world thinks doesn’t much matter, it’s all about what’s working for you and your family.

    I found your blog when I was pregnant. You were a few months ahead of me, and I found the preview of sorts fascinating. My son is nearly 4 now and I find myself loving Leta like I’d love any of his little playdate buddies he’s had since the baby days. You know what? These kids will find reasons to hate us. It’s part of the process. Maybe Leta will seize on the website. Maybe not. I can think of a few things my son might hate me for when he’s 16, or 18, or 20, but you know what? I don’t really care. Because I hated my parents, too, and now that I’m an adult raising a family, I get it. I understand why they did the things they did, and I respect them for it, even if I don’t agree with all of it.

    Parenting is a hard row to hoe. No one gets it right all the time, and I think one of the tragedies of the last century has been the way we’ve removed the support system from parents while externally imposing a set of requirements/pressures that no one can live up to … its a recipe for crazymaking, as you unfortunately found out firsthand.

    So even though I often disagree with you and feel envious of you and all that other ugly stuff, I have to throw you my support here, because you’re out there really DOING what you need to do to survive … to stay sane and be the best mom YOU can be to LETA. And the rest of us should just butt the hell out … except for, you know, watching obsessively through the window that is Dooce.com.

  • Big Mama

    2008/05/02 at 8:20 pm

    The newsletters are always my favorites and this one holds a special place.

    Thanks for writing it.

    And what the critics seem to forget is that someday our kids can start their own blogs and write about us. Little thing called PAYBACK.

  • Andrea Q.

    2008/05/02 at 8:22 pm

    Bravo!!! …Just had to add another “kudos!” here, and echo others who pump fists in the air on your behalf. Thanks for sharing your life and your words with us. (ps: Looking forward to the book!)

  • Rob

    2008/05/02 at 8:22 pm

    Gosh, and here I was enjoying your site for years all the time being a dad. I guess I don’t count. 😉

  • Anonymous

    2008/05/02 at 8:23 pm

    Love you, love Leta, love Jon, love Coco and Chuck. I even loved the friggin’ raccoon.

    I have told all my mom-pals about you, and now we all read. Every day.

    You help us remember that it’s okay to be frustrated, it’s okay to get mad, and that it’s even okay to sit and bawl our eyes out because our love for our children completely overwhelms us.

    You are OUR voice — written so much better than most of us could ever, ever express it.

    Please don’t ever silence us.

  • Lindsay

    2008/05/02 at 8:23 pm

    In response to Sarah:
    You must realize that what you have said comes across as unfortunate jealousy. You must realize that your comments sound as though you resent Heather for her good fortune, her beautiful child, her loving husband, her (one) well behaved dog…
    It makes me sad when I think about how much of this world is driven by money and the things it buys. All your envy is tied to money. That is a terrible thing.
    I think Heather is not exploiting anyone more than herself. Her writing touches on most things in her world, yes, but it foremost focuses on her experiences as a mother and a human being. I am not yet a mother (and I may never be), but I empathize with her writing. She is a gifted writer.
    The revenue she generates is because her gift inspires many people, not because she is manipulative and exploitive.
    Sarah, I am pretty sure that Heather does know she has it “pretty well.” That’s what she spends most of her time writing about. Addressing the commentary of people such as yourself – naysayers – is within her boundaries.
    I doubt, Sarah, based on the negative vibe of your comment, that you are nearly as “well” as Heather. I suggest that you make yourself happier however you can, quickly.

  • that girl

    2008/05/02 at 8:25 pm

    Leta, your eyes are so beautiful!

  • Jeni Hill Ertmer

    2008/05/02 at 8:25 pm

    I’ve thought at times about what my grandchildren might say someday if they ever read my blog, or what my kids will say if I state one of my opinions that doesn’t perhaps match up with theirs, or friends who I may have mentioned from time to time, and I wondered, should I or shouldn’t I post this and then I think, it is my blog, my thoughts, they aren’t illegal or anything like that and I am entitled to my opinion. If it offends anyone, well pretend it’s the tv set and turn the channel or hit the off button. I don’t try to write things that would be deliberately hurtful but I don’t have control of how other people perceive things either and I’m not going to lose sleep over that. If I read someone’s blog that I don’t agree with, I may comment to that effect, depending on the topic, but I’m sure as hell not going to try to tell them how to live their lives, what to write about, how to think, etc., the way people have often tried to do to you. Jealousy is a terrible thing and frankly, those who are super critical of your writing -which, by the way is fantastic IMHO -have that issue in their lives big time or they are just mega control freaks who have nothing better to do! Keep on doing what you do. Chronicle your life, Leta’s -it is your history, your autobiography, Leta’s biography as written by her mother. What could be wrong with that? You are a writer, a professional and as such you should be paid for your efforts same as any other professional person would want to receive an income for their efforts too! Ok, now that I’ve written a book -or at least almost a chapter for you, just don’t ever change or stop what you’re doing!Adl

  • JennC

    2008/05/02 at 8:25 pm

    Don’t know which is more beautiful – the letter or Leta. Both are stunning and wonderful. Keep doing what you do, and don’t let the DONKEY BELLIES!!!! get you down.

  • Rich

    2008/05/02 at 8:25 pm

    Totally worth the wait.

  • TriptikGirl

    2008/05/02 at 8:27 pm

    This newsletter brought tears to my eyes. It is so beautiful and touching. And I’m pumping my fist in the air for you right now too.

  • Colleen

    2008/05/02 at 8:29 pm

    (Officially my first comment!)

    And this is precisely why I think it’s silly to go all anonymous on blogs. It’s paranoid, egotistical, and just takes away from the authenticity of the whole blog experience.

    I feel like my little blog has been the means to connect me with other women too. My own neighbors were strangers to me until they got to know me online.

    Lovely post and I’ve enjoyed reading about your family and seeing pictures of your lovely Leta.

  • Sher

    2008/05/02 at 8:29 pm

    So true~ So many are scared of the internet booie man and not the wanker bag boy at the local grocery store that see’s you every other week.

    She looks so lovely… those big, beautiful eyes, just such a little dolly.

    BTW, that house cleaning thing is a phase. My 7 year old is already “over it”.

  • kathy

    2008/05/02 at 8:29 pm

    Wow. I know I am just one comment out of hundreds…and you probably get tired of the repetition of all of us, but that was truly well written. Beautiful. Leta is blessed to have a mom as loving and caring as you are. Thanks for standing up for us. And thanks for sharing your life.

  • Valency Genis

    2008/05/02 at 8:30 pm

    I know you’re going to get fifty-babillion responses to this post, but I’m going to shout from my little roof-top in New Mexico that YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WOMAN AND AMAZING MOM!!! You have given me such comfort and companionship and entertainment… I’m a military wife, with a husband deployed in Iraq for 14 months (almost done!) and I have 2 sons who have, um, ‘issues’… but don’t all kids have a few issues??

    The fact that you embrace all of your flaws, all of your imperfections, all of the good, bad, and ugly… You are who I strive to be. Every day.

    Sorry if I sound too stalker-ish or too girl-crush-y…

    YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

  • Laura

    2008/05/02 at 8:30 pm

    Amen and amen.

  • Frankie

    2008/05/02 at 8:30 pm

    OMG.

    Haven’t any of these H8ters ever heard of Erma Bombeck?? The original mommy blogger before there were blogs??

    What you do is great and you do it well. Leta, being your child will probably inherit your gift of writing and have her own blog someday soon.

    Go you.

  • Jennifer Ganyo

    2008/05/02 at 8:30 pm

    Leta, I hope you and my daughter to go college together, so you can share in a support group and remind each other how much we love each of you. Happy months 50 & 51.

  • Catherine

    2008/05/02 at 8:31 pm

    Don’t let the bastards keep you down. I love your honesty. You make me feel less alone. Leta is lucky to have you and Jon for parents. XXXOOO

  • Kristi Dorson

    2008/05/02 at 8:32 pm

    This is beautiful. I discovered you fairly recently and have been working my way through your archives; I’m somewhere around Leta’s tenth month right now. I love the letters you write to her, and I love the things you share. You have made me laugh many, many times…today, you made me smile, you made me proud, you brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for doing what you do.

  • chantel

    2008/05/02 at 8:33 pm

    I hope you pumped your fist in the air and ran around the room high-fiving Jon when you hit the publish button.

    I have a 17 year old and a 16 year old. They never worry about what I’m going to write unless they’ve done something wrong. its a great disciplinary tool.

  • Dawn Coyote

    2008/05/02 at 8:33 pm

    That you refuse to indulge in paranoia about the sickos of the world does not make you responsible for their sickness, which is what people are implying when they do that alarmist dance about how you’re endangering your daughter. These are the same halfwits who say that a woman over-imbibing at a party is asking to be raped.

    And hold on a minute—didn’t you know that mothers should go quietly about the business of raising their children without actually talking about that experience, because you must sacrifice everything for your children? This is precisely the sort of shit that has kept women from escaping their domestic prisons since forever.

    I don’t comment often, but it really bugged me to read that you’re affected by the idiocy that people toss at you. It’s TOTALLY UNFAIR that moronic freaks can get under your skin like that, not because you’re utterly fabulous (though you are), but because you’re just a person doing what she does, and out in the open, in an honest and decent way, and it’s wrong for people to be able to attack you and feel they have some moral or intellectual justification for doing so.

  • Amber

    2008/05/02 at 8:35 pm

    perfect…perfect! She may be embarrassed for minute, but she’ll be proud for a long, long time. She’s an amazing little girl (a lot like mine)!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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