the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The Good, The Bad, and The Ambivalent

My friend Carol brought over her dog Basie a few days ago so that maybe, possibly, PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE, she might tire the hell out of Coco, and they chased each other around our back yard for more than three straight hours. And you would think, YOU WOULD THINK, that three hours of full-speed running might make that dog breathe a little harder, right? Maybe sit down for a few seconds and rest? But of course that did not happen. And after Basie left, Coco circled the back door for over an hour waiting for us to go out and play fetch. If only you could bottle that dog’s energy. You’d have to legislate its distribution like amphetamines.

Anyway, Basie was around at dinner time, and here all three are waiting patiently as I fill their bowls. But I guess Basie never eats her entire meal at one time when she’s at home, so she’s like, what’s the big deal? And both Chuck and Coco are ready to pounce. Do you live with dogs? Because I can’t recommend the chaos enough. It’s such great exercise for your reflexes.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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