the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Leta: “Mom, my friend at school said that Christmas trees die.”

Me: “Well, some do. When you pull a plant or a tree out of the ground it will eventually die.”

Leta: “Is our tree going to die?”

Me: “No, we have an artificial tree.”

Leta: “A what?”

Me: “Artificial. It means our tree is fake. It’s not real.”

Leta: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Me: “And this concludes our science lesson for today.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more