Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

On the drive to school this morning

Leta: Who’s going to pick me up from school?

Me: My butt.

Leta: MOM! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

Me: Why is my butt not funny?

Leta: IT JUST ISN’T!

Me: Leta, pretend you’re a boy for, say, two minutes. Then it might be funny.

Leta: Can you just answer my question?

Me: My butt can.

Leta: MOM!

Me: WHAT?

Leta: WHO IS PICKING ME UP FROM SCHOOL?!

Me: Imagine for a second that my butt is funny.

Leta: MOM.

Me: Because then you’d like my answer.

Leta: Is it going to be you or Daddy?

Me: My butt.

Leta: UUUGHHHH!

Me: I think we need to work on your imagination.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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