Heater, Mother of Lance

From the deepest part of my heart where all the burps come from

Untitled (I told my therapist about you)

Untitled (I told my therapist about you) by Mike Monteiro from 20×200, hanging on the wall in our meeting area.

Yesterday marked the end of our partnership with Verizon, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank them for taking what some would consider to be a huge risk in working with us on our office remodel (poo! boobs!). They didn’t require this thank you and have no idea that I’m doing it, but it’s sponsorships like this that make our business possible: the hosting for the main website, the hosting for the community, video servers and bandwidth, and the freelance programmers who have stepped in and helped develop some of the features of the entire thing.

I know some readers are wary of advertising and specifically sponsorships in general, and I can understand those concerns. Because of the support you guys have given me over the years I always have your interests in mind when we start making decisions and negotiating deals like this, and our ad partners are very aware of this. I can’t tell you how many emails from them begin with, “I know Heather isn’t going to say yes to this, but we just wanted to let you know it was out there.”

As stressful and chaotic as the design of the office was, we really had a blast doing it. And we learned a lot about video in the process. We’re hoping to do a lot more video in the future on various topics, one in particular that my mother has already said yes to.

Thank you again for all your support, and I hope I’ve proven to some of the doubters that it’s still me in here: flat chest, pointy chin and lover of fart jokes. I know that we are lucky to work and live like this and that you are the reason.

Much love from our little corner in the desert,
Heather and Jon and Leta and Marlo and Chuck and Coco and Tyrant

(notice Tyrant comes AFTER Coco)

  • ChristineQ

    2010/10/01 at 3:23 pm

    Who doesn’t love a good fart joke?

  • Agent Scully

    2010/10/01 at 3:28 pm

    Tyrant is way too good looking to come after Coco.

  • Crazy Card Lady

    2010/10/01 at 3:37 pm

    So what happened to your lovely assistant who had the cute little baby? Was she replaced by the Tyrant?

    Also everyone CHECK OUT THE NEW BANNER! Who resembles baby Heather? OMG! The craziness lives on!!!!

  • aslapintheface

    2010/10/01 at 3:47 pm

    AWESOME WALL ART … I told my therapist about you too. 🙂

  • chimera

    2010/10/01 at 3:48 pm

    Continue to be a fan of yours, but also continue to wish/hope that you will consider captioning your future videos for those of us that are deaf (or hard of hearing)! I appreciate the challenges that accompany captioning videos, but in the spirit of accessibility for all and drawing more readers/viewers from the deaf community.. 🙂

  • dooce

    2010/10/01 at 3:52 pm

    @chimera I will definitely try to make that happen! Thanks for pointing it out.

  • MichelleBarra

    2010/10/01 at 3:58 pm

    What a lovely message to your readers Heather. Lovely, but as far as I’m concerned, unnecessary.

    To me, it is obvious from your warm, friendly tone, the frequency & generosity of your posts, the gorgeous clean lines of your website and the minimalistic approach to sponsorship and advertisng that you care about your readers.

    So well done you for striking such a happy balance!

    From a formerly flat-chested Michelle (currently 31 wks pregnant so shamelessly flashing cleavage at every available opportunity!)

  • slw

    2010/10/01 at 4:12 pm

    Hi Heather – I appreciate you being so scrupulous about your sponsorships … not to mention for the awesome content that you bring to your audience. I’ve been following you for years! Also wanted to let you know that I work for an online video platform that does closed captioning for your hearing-impaired visitors. Pls let me know if you’re interested in details on that.

  • apostate

    2010/10/01 at 4:28 pm

    Just wanted to point out once again that I’m ever covetous of your chin. My head just kind of blends into my neck making an extra ten lbs look like 80 in portraits. (sigh)

  • smithie1996

    2010/10/01 at 5:45 pm

    Thank YOU for making us laugh, cry, and feel like normal mothers in this weird crazy world of parenting.

  • kcbelles

    2010/10/01 at 6:00 pm

    Still awesome, but totally gracious; must be cuz you’re Southern 🙂

    Poor Tyrant – you must pay him well to put up with all that you do, and now coming after Coco (although if I were in the line-up, I think I’d prefer to come after instead of before, too – that way I could keep an eye on her mischevious little furry butt.)

  • francabollo

    2010/10/01 at 6:06 pm

    @aslapintheface I’ve told my therapist about her, too! In reference to Heather’s posting about her mental health issues. A valuable service beyond measure. Thank you, Heather. Really.

  • Miss Bits

    2010/10/01 at 6:55 pm

    A compliment wherein you gain nothing is the bestest. We’re redoing our bedroom tomorrow in an effort to make it appear as if functioning adults live in this house. At the least we’ll be able to leave the door to our room open when friends come over, instead of flying off of the sofa in a panic when someone starts heading in that direction “looking for the bathroom”. We have a small room, so space is at a premium. Necessities only and storage is the key word of the day. Life would be so much easier if objects hovered.

  • vaefitz

    2010/10/01 at 8:22 pm

    I never “chuckle” out loud. And I only rarely post a comment. But, seriously, that last parenthetical comment inspired a heartfelt chortle. Thanks! (And BTW: do you design your own CAPTCHA combos? Because they are so, so… Dooce!)

  • NolaMomma

    2010/10/01 at 8:29 pm

    Okay if you love fart jokes….I know you have this book already, but just in case you don’t…Walter the Farting Dog. It’s a good one.

  • Deb Haw

    2010/10/01 at 11:07 pm

    I’m convinced Tyrant may be my soulmate with the things he says/does, but since he doesn’t swing my way, I’d settle for being his bosom buddy/bitch witch. 😀

  • labradoris

    2010/10/02 at 6:44 am

    @NolaMomma, we have the Walter the Farting Dog series at the winery I work at (we treat it like a coffee table book in one of the corners of the tasting room). It entertains kids and [tipsy] adults alike! 😉

  • theotherlion

    2010/10/02 at 6:51 am

    i think my mom needs to unwrap that on christmas morning. she’s always asking me what i talked to my therapist about.

  • Jeni

    2010/10/02 at 1:43 pm

    dooce, I love you! Thanks for the daily laughs!
    another great masthead btw.

  • oddFrogg

    2010/10/02 at 3:41 pm

    You continually amaze. You’ve kept it up all these years because you’re an interesting person with interesting, funny and heartfelt things to say. How you choose to feed your family is your business. Here’s to more Dooce! Rock on.

  • socaldede

    2010/10/02 at 9:21 pm

    “I Sparkle when I Farkle”

  • Becky Cochrane

    2010/10/03 at 2:24 am

    You consistently make me happy in some way. Thank you.

  • Cellar Mouse

    2010/10/03 at 7:00 am

    I love that picture. I need one. Fun stuff, thanks for sharing.

  • table4five

    2010/10/03 at 2:09 pm

    I enjoyed seeing the office coming together, and it was great of Verizon to help with the phones you needed. I can’t even imagine how many pitches you get every day from companies who want you to talk about their stuff.

    Every time I think you’ve made the best masthead ever, you go and top yourself. You are my very favorite ‘well rested self-entitled ho bag’ 🙂

  • useharmony

    2010/10/03 at 4:40 pm

    I adore your blog, verizon or not. And I’m going to hate you for one whole week because I am jealous of your beautiful office. So there.

  • AshesVonDust

    2010/10/03 at 5:03 pm

    You are so unobtrusive about sponsorship, and you’re clearly doing well. It makes me wonder why more sites don’t follow your example and be tactful about it!

    I love that you are thankful and gracious enough to take the time to thank your sponsor again, even though it’s not in your contract. It’s what I would do, and it shows that you can be a real classy dame!

    @Miss Bits “We’re redoing our bedroom tomorrow in an effort to make it appear as if functioning adults live in this house”
    I hear you, I’ve got to get on that as well! My bedroom looks like two teenagers living in a dumpster! With several very hairy animals (anyone else have uncontrollable kitty tumbleweeds?!)

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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