This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Tip number one

If you ever decide to lose your mind and run a marathon for the first time, my first piece of advice is to budget enough time and money (if it’s out of town) to stay an extra day so that you can spend that day lying on your back. Do absolutely nothing. Don’t leave the room to get food, have it delivered. And then have someone else feed it to you, bite by bite, because eventually when you do end up in an asylum that’s how it’s done anyway.

We didn’t do this. Instead, we got up early and I realized I couldn’t walk. But we had to shower, pack, and be at a meeting downtown. So we scrambled, and I did so on crutches which is its own workout (two cab rides and two NYC city blocks with crutches CROSSED OFF THE LIFE LIST). After those meetings we hurried back to the hotel, grabbed our luggage and headed to the airport where people pushed me around and I got flagged during security. The agent was very professional about the pat down, though, which is too bad because she was smokin’ hot.

That was one of the worst flights we’ve ever booked from JFK to SLC, and in addition to sitting on the runway for over an hour, I couldn’t get up to use the bathroom because of the crutches. Just not enough room. Halfway through the flight I started crying LIKE A BABY and didn’t stop for another three hours until we were at home in bed and I realized I was so sore I was not going to be able to turn over in the middle of the night.

This fatigue is worse than any jet lag I’ve ever experienced, and it was bad coming back from Bangladesh. The exhaustion is making me physically ill. People said I would be sore, that part is not surprising. I’m just so damn tired, and it keeps going and going.

Hopefully I’ll be feeling a bit more like myself tomorrow so I can finally share the wonderful parts (the many, many wonderful parts). At the clinic today I found out that I have a stress fracture on my right foot and not a clean break. This is good news, although the boot they gave me is so huge that it makes me look like a snowboarder who got so beat up that she lost her other boot and has no idea she’s thirty minutes from the nearest resort.

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