the smell of my desperation has become a stench

His fate

Last week Marlo saw Santa Claus and when he asked her what she wanted she suddenly got shy.

“Sthuffed animalsth,” she whispered. She repeated it four times and he never made out what she was saying.

Thank god the real Santa Claus was listening. This isn’t even half of the stash she got. Is it morbid to think that when the inevitable happens to Chuck that we’ll just have him stuffed and added to her collection? Yeah? Go smoke a joint and then let me ask you that question again.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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